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26. Yea, and I, the Lord, command my servant, Dr.Shades, that my message board shall cease to autocorrect "might" followed immediately by "of" as "might've." 27. And my message board shall remain under condemnation, until these things are corrected, and there is sincere...

Section 159 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 1 April 2013. Numerous questions about church policy and leadership had arisen in the wake of certain members of the church holding divergent views on such matters. Various pronouncements by church spokesmen and unexplained changes in policy result...

Section 158 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 20 February 2013. The Lord was fly fishing for blue whales on Europa and had set His phone to Vibrate Only, which on the Lord's phone registers as 7.2 on the Richter scale. Unaware of the consequences of their actions, the members of the board cont...

Section 157 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 13 February 2013. Some members of the board were struggling at this time to understand the will of the Lord. It had been a month since He last revealed His word to the board. This apparent silence, together with the presence of Droopy and the tempo...

Section 156 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 14 January 2013. Please stay on your knees, and your prayer will be answered in the order in which it was received. 1-3, The Lord can see it in your eyes and can see it in your smile; 4-7, the Lord is a real mensch; 8-12, spare the rod, spoil the r...

Section 155 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 11 November 2012. Most members of the board expected eternal life and eternal progression to be a state of perfect happiness that lasts forever. In this revelation, the board learned that such might not be the case, judging from the ennui of the Lo...

The Testimony of Three Witnesses Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, ethnicities, societies, civilizations, species, commonwealths, cultures, populaces, groups, associations, gatherings, and people, unto whom this message board shall come: That we, through the grace of the board's admi...

Section 154 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 28 October 2012 at the request of certain board members, unwittingly implying that the Lord gives revelations to order. 1-4, Some confusion about whom these grandiose titles refer to; 5-7, there is no honor among thieves, except in heaven; 8-12, th...

Section 153 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 26 October 2012. Certain members of the board had questioned whether tithing should be paid on all increase, regardless of the source of that increase. Some board members felt that getting money by immoral means meant that the Lord would not be ple...

Section 152 Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 25 October 2012. Many members of the Lord's message board were very concerned about Halloween and the forthcoming presidential election (in that order of importance). The Lord's bowels were moved with compassion, while His liver was filled with pat...