Help wanted (Score so far related)

[Jersey Girl]

Update. My scale flipped over to kilos about a month or more ago. No one knows why. I've not tried to get it back to pounds. I use a calculator online that changes kilos to pounds.

Weight check:

38.6 Kilos

(insert drum roll)

85.09843 Pounds

I've not seen that much weight in such a long time! I'm SO happy!

Energy level: SO good! I am MILES ahead in terms of energy and activity levels from where I was this time the past two years. My whole family has noticed it and commented that I sound and seem like me again. I am more "here" again. My focus has returned and I don't feel the difficulty concentrating or feeling distracted by symptons that I had for so long. I feel like "me" again or almost me. I'll take it! As for activity level the Boy described me recently as "She's all over the place and busy". Making up for so much lost time over here on things I couldn't keep up with the way I normally would because I was in survival mode for 2 years.

Symptoms: Mainly at night but greatly reduced so long as I pay attention to what I'm actually eating and drinking plenty of water.

Mental Health: Difficult to describe. Sometimes I still have feelings of grief, resentment, envy of others who are traveling and visiting restaurants, feeling I missed so much. It's almost like the Lord put me in time out for 2 years to teach me things I needed to know and grow me in ways that were much needed. Predominantly positive thoughts and feelings though!

I'm not 100% myself but I think I'm remarkably close to it and that really keeps me moving forward.

[Dr. Shades]

And...I looked up the ER doc who was so impressive. He's a DO. I have a couple of gut related things I want to try and if their Gastro doc isn't able to do it (I want out of the practice I'm in) I'm going to see if the ER DO doc can do it.

"DO" = Director of Operations?

[IWMP]

some people pay good money for that feeling.

My insurance pays for it.

Glad you got sorted quickly and are doing better after a good sleep.
Hopefully that's a one off and you can go a while without any more episodes.

Thanks! I went more than 3 months this time. I think it was last year I was a day or two from 5 months then bang.

I'll let you know where I am in private.

Okay.

Train journeys the kids were literally perfect. Honestly don't know how because they are usually range between somewhat challenging and extremely challenging on train journeys. They both slept in this morning, maybe the beach air lol. They didn't want to do anything at all this morning. Was planning to take them to a fair. They didn't want to go. So they are lounging. Going to see family this afternoon.

Oh that's so good that the travel went better than you imagined! It's amazing how children can rise to the challenge sometimes, right? Isn't that kind of funny that they want to take it slow? But that's also good because it's less running around for you as well.

I had an asthma attack this morning. The ventolin inhaler makes me shake literally but I'd rather shake than struggle to breathe and feel like I'm going to pass out.

Not good! Maybe there is something growing around there that you're allergic to. Good that you have an inhaler to use and yes, even though it makes you shake it's better to open those airways up! Just do it when you need to and I'm sure you'll get used to the shakes--even though you don't want that to happen.

It sounds like the trip is going well and I hope that is the case!

I'm over here keeping busy and dealing with the aftermath of the heart shock. When I have to get shocked I get burns and welts on my front and back where the pads were. Don't know if I ever mentioned that before. Aloe vera gel is my best friend right now. It won't take long to heal up though.

Oh my gosh, I never knew that your skin does that. That makes sense. It sounds so painful. Hoping you recover quickly.

My mum smokes. I struggle with lingering smoke.

It's 11am and little lady is still asleep. We are basically on wind down now. We were in a small car crash yesterday so won't be going anywhere that involves driving now. I was going to message last night but I deleted it. I might take them on the bus to the arcade and spend the day in that town but the morning has already gone. Everyone is fine. Baby is fine. Think everyone is just tired and just wanting to chill. Might rent a movie on prime and order takeaway if they aren't feeling up to much.

I sent pictures elsewhere.

Feel better soon

[IWMP]

Update. My scale flipped over to kilos about a month or more ago. No one knows why. I've not tried to get it back to pounds. I use a calculator online that changes kilos to pounds.

Weight check:

38.6 Kilos

(insert drum roll)

85.09843 Pounds

I've not seen that much weight in such a long time! I'm SO happy!

Energy level: SO good! I am MILES ahead in terms of energy and activity levels from where I was this time the past two years. My whole family has noticed it and commented that I sound and seem like me again. I am more "here" again. My focus has returned and I don't feel the difficulty concentrating or feeling distracted by symptons that I had for so long. I feel like "me" again or almost me. I'll take it! As for activity level the Boy described me recently as "She's all over the place and busy". Making up for so much lost time over here on things I couldn't keep up with the way I normally would because I was in survival mode for 2 years.

Symptoms: Mainly at night but greatly reduced so long as I pay attention to what I'm actually eating and drinking plenty of water.

Mental Health: Difficult to describe. Sometimes I still have feelings of grief, resentment, envy of others who are traveling and visiting restaurants, feeling I missed so much. It's almost like the Lord put me in time out for 2 years to teach me things I needed to know and grow me in ways that were much needed. Predominantly positive thoughts and feelings though!

I'm not 100% myself but I think I'm remarkably close to it and that really keeps me moving forward.

Aww. Sending love your way. Loving all the positive news. Hopefully you can get to a place where the past two years can be at the back of your mind and doesn't get you down.

My brain understands kilos better than pounds. Do you know yesterday, I stepped on my mum's scales. Her scales are set to stones but I use KG. I've been telling people I'm 2 stone heavier than I am. :O

[Jersey Girl]

Oh my gosh, I never knew that your skin does that. That makes sense. It sounds so painful. Hoping you recover quickly.

Yes I get burns where the pads were placed on front and back. I think the shock heats up the pads or something and it also melts the adhesive? I wash off the adhesive as best I can but yes, I get burns and then it itches like crazy. Finally calmed down now though you can still see it.

My mum smokes. I struggle with lingering smoke.

Oh so that's how you get the asthma reaction on account of the irritation from smoke. That is too sad because of course you want to visit with your mum and have to deal with that reaction plus the inhaler reaction. Here where we live every single person in our family has an inhaler and it's not uncommon at all. Must have something to do with the climate, elevation, or ecosystem? It's true though. I've never had a full on asthma attack but occasionally do feel something going on. I'm deathly allergic to siamese cats and some rabbits and probably would get an attack if I were around them. Have seasonal allergies to some weeds or whatever is growing out there in town. Didn't have an inhaler until my last teaching position where there were weeds growing that apparently wanted me dead.

It's 11am and little lady is still asleep. We are basically on wind down now. We were in a small car crash yesterday so won't be going anywhere that involves driving now. I was going to message last night but I deleted it. I might take them on the bus to the arcade and spend the day in that town but the morning has already gone. Everyone is fine. Baby is fine. Think everyone is just tired and just wanting to chill. Might rent a movie on prime and order takeaway if they aren't feeling up to much.

It's nice to have that kind of down time when everyone is in agreement. Sounds like a car accident was enough excitement for you all.

I sent pictures elsewhere.

So I noticed and loved them so much!

Feel better soon

Thanks! I feel probably 90% better than I did this time last year! I hope you have recovered from the trip and the accident as well! Life really gets life-y sometimes doesn't it?

<3

[Jersey Girl]

Update. My scale flipped over to kilos about a month or more ago. No one knows why. I've not tried to get it back to pounds. I use a calculator online that changes kilos to pounds.

Weight check:

38.6 Kilos

(insert drum roll)

85.09843 Pounds

I've not seen that much weight in such a long time! I'm SO happy!

Energy level: SO good! I am MILES ahead in terms of energy and activity levels from where I was this time the past two years. My whole family has noticed it and commented that I sound and seem like me again. I am more "here" again. My focus has returned and I don't feel the difficulty concentrating or feeling distracted by symptons that I had for so long. I feel like "me" again or almost me. I'll take it! As for activity level the Boy described me recently as "She's all over the place and busy". Making up for so much lost time over here on things I couldn't keep up with the way I normally would because I was in survival mode for 2 years.

Symptoms: Mainly at night but greatly reduced so long as I pay attention to what I'm actually eating and drinking plenty of water.

Mental Health: Difficult to describe. Sometimes I still have feelings of grief, resentment, envy of others who are traveling and visiting restaurants, feeling I missed so much. It's almost like the Lord put me in time out for 2 years to teach me things I needed to know and grow me in ways that were much needed. Predominantly positive thoughts and feelings though!

I'm not 100% myself but I think I'm remarkably close to it and that really keeps me moving forward.

Aww. Sending love your way. Loving all the positive news. Hopefully you can get to a place where the past two years can be at the back of your mind and doesn't get you down.

My brain understands kilos better than pounds. Do you know yesterday, I stepped on my mum's scales. Her scales are set to stones but I use KG. I've been telling people I'm 2 stone heavier than I am. :O

I sometimes converted pounds to stones for you on this thread using one of those conversion calculators. Did the same with the kilos. Stopped weighing myself now because it doesn't matter as much as getting food into me and adding back new ones.

Now I want to look at photos of scales set to stones! Never even thought about that.

I am moving forward mental health-wise slowly but surely. I wanted to include mental health effects on this thread because if someone begins dealing with a similar illness I think it's good to discuss mental health so folks know they aren't alone in their struggles.

I know I'm "back", not 100% but I'm back in my head again!

[Jersey Girl]

I wanted to write about this since I mentioned mental health and that I know I'm "back". I'd rate my recovery in all areas about 90% at this writing. Which feels like an absolute miracle. Last two years I thought I could be better, hoped I could be better, but now I know I am better.

Here's a little story. Last week I had to go on base to the pharmacy to pick up an RX. It's a nice drive about 20 minutes from the house. On the way over I pass by these shops where you walk on the sidewalk from shop to shop wherever you want to go. It's really a nice place and most of the stores are high end like Anthropologie, Pottery Barn, William Sonoma, Ulta, Aeries and whatever else oh Bath and Body Works, and some restaurants like Panera. You could easily spend an afternoon there strolling around just looking. I used to do that all the time but not in the past 2 years. I did go into William Sonoma last year to pick up Christmas breakfast things for my kids. I started a new tradition of giving them breakfast in a bag with waffle/pancake mix, and little things to go with it. Bougie waffle mix you know? Something they can have on their Christmas break ready to go when they want it. Also include the pure maple syrup that I get from Wisconsin. It's SUPER good stuff. (There's a story there but it's not important to this post).

So last year I drove over to William Sonoma to pick up my order and the ride over was what I would call a "white knuckle ride". Hands gripping the steering wheel with overwhelming anxiety. Same thing in the store. Kept a smile on my face but the whole time I felt like was disintegrating...not a full on panic attack but high levels of anxiety. I was so happy to go but scared out of my mind...way out of my mind. I hide it well and smile.

So now on the way over to the pharm I drove past there and thought "Oh I could go to William Sonoma and look around! Maybe Pottery Barn!"

When I realized what I was thinking and feeling, I got tears and had to immediately pray thanks and gratitude to God. Why? Because it was the first time in 2 years that I drove past there and KNEW it was possible for me to go. It wasn't "I wish I could go there but I can't" and cried over it. Now it was..."I could" because I knew in an instant that I could and instead of feeling weak, depressed, debilitated, scared and deprived. I felt instant enthusiasm for what I could do if I wanted to and had the time and the tears were those of gratitude.

There's not an emoticon that expresses what that felt like! Thank you Lord for that moment of realization, confidence, and celebration,
that sense of victory, healing, and overcoming, for the humility in receiving such a deep and enormous sign in an instant that blessed me so much with possibilities again!

That Hard Fought Hallelujah song that msnobody linked to before. Folks I was crawling for so long. This right here, I think it's finally mine and I feel every word of this in my SOUL!

Brandon Lake - Hard Fought Hallelujah (Music Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtJPdiYk15g

[IWMP]

Oh my gosh, I never knew that your skin does that. That makes sense. It sounds so painful. Hoping you recover quickly.

Yes I get burns where the pads were placed on front and back. I think the shock heats up the pads or something and it also melts the adhesive? I wash off the adhesive as best I can but yes, I get burns and then it itches like crazy. Finally calmed down now though you can still see it.

My mum smokes. I struggle with lingering smoke.

Oh so that's how you get the asthma reaction on account of the irritation from smoke. That is too sad because of course you want to visit with your mum and have to deal with that reaction plus the inhaler reaction. Here where we live every single person in our family has an inhaler and it's not uncommon at all. Must have something to do with the climate, elevation, or ecosystem? It's true though. I've never had a full on asthma attack but occasionally do feel something going on. I'm deathly allergic to siamese cats and some rabbits and probably would get an attack if I were around them. Have seasonal allergies to some weeds or whatever is growing out there in town. Didn't have an inhaler until my last teaching position where there were weeds growing that apparently wanted me dead.

It's 11am and little lady is still asleep. We are basically on wind down now. We were in a small car crash yesterday so won't be going anywhere that involves driving now. I was going to message last night but I deleted it. I might take them on the bus to the arcade and spend the day in that town but the morning has already gone. Everyone is fine. Baby is fine. Think everyone is just tired and just wanting to chill. Might rent a movie on prime and order takeaway if they aren't feeling up to much.

It's nice to have that kind of down time when everyone is in agreement. Sounds like a car accident was enough excitement for you all.

I sent pictures elsewhere.

So I noticed and loved them so much!

Feel better soon

Thanks! I feel probably 90% better than I did this time last year! I hope you have recovered from the trip and the accident as well! Life really gets life-y sometimes doesn't it?

<3

That sounds so painful. Glad you are not needing this so much now.

I think asthma is related to allergies. I think if you use an inhaler and it works then you need it. With the blue one you can feel it work immediately.

It's so good to hear that you feel so much better.

We are home now.

Just took my son to the Dr. He gets canker sores but by the time the dr has availability they are on the mend. So Dr said he will write a note to tell them to let him be seen whilst he has them so they can be swabbed. He wasn't a great deal of help to be honest. The last two flare ups, he has had pain in his face and neck because of them.

[IWMP]

I wanted to write about this since I mentioned mental health and that I know I'm "back". I'd rate my recovery in all areas about 90% at this writing. Which feels like an absolute miracle. Last two years I thought I could be better, hoped I could be better, but now I know I am better.

Here's a little story. Last week I had to go on base to the pharmacy to pick up an RX. It's a nice drive about 20 minutes from the house. On the way over I pass by these shops where you walk on the sidewalk from shop to shop wherever you want to go. It's really a nice place and most of the stores are high end like Anthropologie, Pottery Barn, William Sonoma, Ulta, Aeries and whatever else oh Bath and Body Works, and some restaurants like Panera. You could easily spend an afternoon there strolling around just looking. I used to do that all the time but not in the past 2 years. I did go into William Sonoma last year to pick up Christmas breakfast things for my kids. I started a new tradition of giving them breakfast in a bag with waffle/pancake mix, and little things to go with it. Bougie waffle mix you know? Something they can have on their Christmas break ready to go when they want it. Also include the pure maple syrup that I get from Wisconsin. It's SUPER good stuff. (There's a story there but it's not important to this post).

So last year I drove over to William Sonoma to pick up my order and the ride over was what I would call a "white knuckle ride". Hands gripping the steering wheel with overwhelming anxiety. Same thing in the store. Kept a smile on my face but the whole time I felt like was disintegrating...not a full on panic attack but high levels of anxiety. I was so happy to go but scared out of my mind...way out of my mind. I hide it well and smile.

So now on the way over to the pharm I drove past there and thought "Oh I could go to William Sonoma and look around! Maybe Pottery Barn!"

When I realized what I was thinking and feeling, I got tears and had to immediately pray thanks and gratitude to God. Why? Because it was the first time in 2 years that I drove past there and KNEW it was possible for me to go. It wasn't "I wish I could go there but I can't" and cried over it. Now it was..."I could" because I knew in an instant that I could and instead of feeling weak, depressed, debilitated, scared and deprived. I felt instant enthusiasm for what I could do if I wanted to and had the time and the tears were those of gratitude.

There's not an emoticon that expresses what that felt like! Thank you Lord for that moment of realization, confidence, and celebration,
that sense of victory, healing, and overcoming, for the humility in receiving such a deep and enormous sign in an instant that blessed me so much with possibilities again!

That Hard Fought Hallelujah song that msnobody linked to before. Folks I was crawling for so long. This right here, I think it's finally mine and I feel every word of this in my SOUL!

Brandon Lake - Hard Fought Hallelujah (Music Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtJPdiYk15g

That is so exciting. And it's lovely that you can take those moments to stop and appreciate how far you've come and how much work you've put into healing.

[canpakes]

Weight check:

85.09843 Pounds

I've not seen that much weight in such a long time! I'm SO happy!

You now weigh as much as 17 red bricks, more or less. Or, possibly, a set of ancient golden plates.