You might notice a pattern here. One of my traits. If so, you probably really read my posts.
Since I finished the kill pills, I had probably a good string of 6 days were I felt blessedly normal at least for most of the day. Some mild symptoms at night.
Today I hit the wall again. I had so much tummy bloat (this stuff HURTS) that I called off on working a shift for the show I'm in. We all work shifts while the show is going on. There's a ton of us and that's how we make the wheels turn. That's NOT like me to bail on anything. Ever. But I was up late last night with symptoms and didn't wake up until 1 pm today...still tired..and had more symptoms today so I just threw up my hands, decided to give myself grace, and gave the heck up on working. Folks were nice about it. I'd be nice about it towards anyone else as well. I always have been. So this time it was me.
And then...this afternoon I got disgusted. Disgust turned into anger. And then...anger turned into
action.
I don't know why I wait until I start to fall down a hole to do something but that's how it works with me...and so I made my best move.
I've been afraid of taking probiotics but only because they can cause bloating. I cannot express how much tummy bloat I've endured (or going to the ER with a ticked off heart on account of it) so I felt like I was setting myself up for more. It hurts. It all hurts. No matter how it starts or what it turns into...it hurts. Then...I got my head on straight...we think.
So talking to the Lord about all this mess. I believe that the Lord gave me the best provider. On account of that, I believe that I need to follow her directions. I know it's the exact thing I need to do to heal up and the only thing I haven't done. So even though I dragged my feet probably a week longer than I should have...
Align probiotics is coming on Tuesday as a start.
On Wednesday or Thursday the
big guns are coming...
VSL#3...refrigerated live bacteria into the gut and if my gut blows up...at this point I figure so what? It's blown up a million times in 1.5 years and if it's gonna blow up it might as well be because I'm doing what my trusted NP advised me to do because it's the only thing that's going to get the inner compost pile back in healthy working order and I haven't done it.
Those are the two exact Probiotics she wanted me to try.
If I end up in pain and bloated like a Macy's Day Parade balloon and end up in the ER to get my heart shocked then at least I'm doing what I'm told to do and I also get proprofol.
When I say bloated...I'm not talking about oh I feel full...I'm talking about abdominal distension. It hurts really bad.
I'm still a little scared. There's a thing that says if you're afraid to do something...just do it afraid.
Doing it. Doing it afraid.
If you read this, thanks for reading my crazy.