What gift should she give? (long)

[_Wisdom Seeker]

Jack and Samantha are in their forties and are the major stakeholders of a corporation (Delaware) in which they helped create in the state of Utah. Jack and Sam are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and are quite active and involved in their church. Jack is currently a high counselor in the Stake and Sam is a Relief Society first counselor. They are full tithe payers and attend the temple monthly.

Jack, Sam and their family are considered very wealthy when compared to the many others in their ward, but in reality Jack and Sam only bring home a salary of $80,000 a year. Their home is paid for their transportation is provided by the corporation. Jack and Sam are frugal and put most of their money into retirement. Much of their home furnishings are purchased by the corporation as business is done there as well as at the large business complex which the corporation owns.

Jack and Sam pay about $5,000 in tithing a year and pay on their gross income minus only that which goes into their retirement accounts. Each year they attend tithing settlement and declare themselves as full tithe payers to their bishop who provides them cookies which his wife makes for tithing settlement.

Debbie is an employee of the corporation and lives in the same city as Jack and Sam. She has a fairly large family and had to start work soon after her husband became permanently disabled. She is a hard worker and was given the honor of employee of the month twice in the last three years. They have a very difficult time paying all of their bills and medical and prescription expenses. She too is very frugal except for the customized van she needs to drive that accommodates her husband’s wheel chair.

Debbie is unable to pay a full tithe on her $56,000 salary only being able to pay about 8% or about $4,511. She has been unable to attend the temple because she has not been a full tithe payer for the last three years. She recently had to wait outside the temple while her daughter was married and sealed in the temple. Her daughter had a lovely reception in the cultural hall of the ward building where Jack and Sam gave the young couple a gift of $500 in which they will pay $50 towards tithing.

Jack and Sam on the other hand are looking forward to the wedding of their daughter in the Temple in the next month. Her reception will be at the country club. The corporation has an account with the country club and the only expenses the country club is charging will be for catering. Because many people who are employees and stakeholders of the corporation are going to attend the reception, catering will be paid for by the corporation.

Question: What should Debbie give as a gift to the couple?

[_MCB]

Her resignation from the church, since she may soon go on disability from exhaustion, and her family then would threaten to become leeches off the church.

[_Quasimodo]

Since the wedding will be in December, Santa suggests two lumps of coal in an unwashed athletic sock (a white sock, as a symbol of the bride's unquestioned virginity).

[_just me]

What does she have budgeted?

If they are unable to make ends meet (ie behind on the bills) than I say skip it and don't give them a gift at all.

However, if she can go shopping on Black Friday she could probably get them a very nice crockpot or bedding set for $10-15.

Nice story, by the way. :)

[_moksha]

The story has elements of elation (marriages) and tragedies (disabilities, replacing God with Mammon, and the flip side of marriages).

As to replacing God with Mammon, this is the greatest of tragedies. Keeping the pious from seeing her daughter's wedding for a few dollars she could not afford, is a true effrontery to the Spirit of Christ. Only the staunchest of defenders could fail to see this.

As to the gift, I am uncertain whether Braun will be releasing their new line of talking toasters this Christmas season. If they do, Debbie should keep her eyes peeled for one of these babies. Imagine being able to discuss Schopenhauer while waiting for the bagel to lightly brown.

[_Wisdom Seeker]

I believe there are three classifications a person can get during Tithing Settlement. A person or couple can be found as a FULL Tithe payer, a PART Tithe payer or a NON-Tithe payer.

Why would Debbie even attend Tithing Settlement if she knows she has fallen short? And if a person has fallen short, why pay at all if in fact what little money given would have been better used for their own benefit?

The wealthy and self employed are not only more eligible to take as many tax breaks through possible loop-holes, but can also easily manipulate the system of tithing to be considered full tithe payers.

Poor Debbie is doing everything she can to survive financially and would have to pay more than Jack and Sam to be considered worthy enough to attend the temple. Jack and Sam are not doing anything legally wrong or even doing something that goes against church policy regarding tithing. The problem has to do with ethics and while most of us would agree that Jack and Sam are not showing ethical behavior, keeping Debbie out of the Temple and seeing her daughter’s wedding is truly unethical.