Wisdom Seeker wrote:Buffalo,
How long were you an apologist?
Well, I'm a lifelong member. I started doing the online apologetics thing (read: arguing on the internet in favor of the church) maybe five years ago. That's where I was introduced to the concept of dismissing bizarre statements from general authorities as mere opinions. That was exciting at first - I certainly had always been disturbed by a few quotes from BY and McConkie, and it was nice to be able to dismiss them. But then as the years went on I found myself having to ascribe a great deal of prophetic sermonizing to the "unofficial opinions" pile. It adds up.
However, it was nothing internal to the church that ultimately led me to lose faith. Certainly apologetics weakened my faith, as did the revelation a few years ago during the FLDS controversy about Smith's teenage brides and wife swapping. Polygamy by itself was disturbing enough, but the creepiness of marrying 14 year olds was hard to swallow. Also, the wife swapping thing really just looks indistinguishable from swinging. All of that disturbed me but none of it was ultimately enough to completely destroy my faith. It created a lot of cognitive dissonance, which was uncomfortable. My coping strategy was to just try to forget it.
What ultimately destroyed my faith was the science vs religion debate. The creation story doesn't hold up, nor does the story of the flood, or the Tower of Babel, or miracles or healings or anything else that can be falsified, whether in the Bible or in LDS scripture. Taking it as allegory or mythical versions of real events only lasted for so long. The simplest explanation is that it's just made up. The Greek pagans knew more about the shape of the earth than did the ancient prophets of God, who were supposedly receiving revelation from God. Observation from pagans apparently Trump's revelation. The you start to see it more and more in a lot of areas.
The history of Yahweh and El also played a part. The earliest versions of the Hebrew deities bear more resemblance to the pantheon of the ancient Greeks than any of our concepts of God. It becomes obvious that God has changed so much because he's been remade in our own image so many times.
But mostly it was science that did it.