What Happens After Suicide?

Post by **_hypatia** » Thu May 01, 2008 2:10 am

Today is April 30th. Four and a half months after my daughter's death and two and a half months or so after my first thread on this site.

Today I reread my original thread and your responding posts. Thank you all for your heartfelt responses. I have to say, I was touched and even thirsted for your empathy when I wrote those words last February. I was completely shattered. Very much like a fathomless black hole, I was sucking the life I sensed from others.

A couple of you have PM'd me and I thought I would briefly update this thread as to my personal journey, and even progress, through the unfathomable experience.

Pirate, you are right---I often feel what I would like to think is the filling of my daughter's essence through my head and into my chest...what is it called? Being filled with her Grace? I would like to think so. I savor the experience and oneness with what I perceive is her.

Although I still wouldn't really mind a stroke or heart attack in order to just finish myself off, I want to live just a little more. There are possibilities out there. I measure my wellness not on a daily, or even a weekly basis. As I take my "temperature" periodically, I realize at this point it's on a monthly basis I recognize my changes, although I still send an email to her account ever once in a while or make a call on her cell.

After some "work" done on me in Red Rock country in southern Utah and hiking under the warmth of the sun, I am retiring from 34 years of teaching and opening space for something bigger than home--work, home--work, etc. --like a stick going back and forth making a deeper and deeper rut in the ground.

Scottie, I hope you are progressing, also.

At this point, I know there will be better days on the bridge Jersey Girl indicated would be the next phase of my life.

Again, thank you all.

_GoodK · Post by **_GoodK** » Thu May 01, 2008 7:17 am

I would highly recommend the book Life After Death by Deepak Chopra. That book changed my thinking on death, suicide, and the hereafter.

Post by **_hypatia** » Fri May 02, 2008 4:06 am

GoodK wrote:I would highly recommend the book Life After Death by Deepak Chopra. That book changed my thinking on death, suicide, and the hereafter.

GoodK, I ordered the book today. Thank you.

Post by **_Inconceivable** » Fri May 02, 2008 6:51 am

wishing you well, Hypatia.

Post by **_truth dancer** » Fri May 02, 2008 12:27 pm

Dear Hypatia,

Thank you for the update.

It sounds like you are moving through the process of grief and are doing all those things that will help you survive; sometimes I think we need the energy of the earth and sun to sustain us when our souls cannot seem to find a way to continue on.

I love how you have created a space to allow something bigger to come. I have a sense from reading your thoughts that you truly are moving into a place where you will find new meaning; as if there will come a time when your pain and heart ache will be used for healing the pain and sorrow of others.

My heart goes out to you... :-)

Hugs,

~dancer~

_GoodK · Post by **_GoodK** » Fri May 02, 2008 4:16 pm

hypatia wrote:
GoodK wrote:I would highly recommend the book Life After Death by Deepak Chopra. That book changed my thinking on death, suicide, and the hereafter.

GoodK, I ordered the book today. Thank you.

I'm so happy to hear that. I'd love to hear what you thought of it after you read it.

Take care.

Post by **_mbeesley** » Fri May 02, 2008 10:36 pm

My family was recently touched by a suicide. Before rejecting any views on the consequences of suicide simply because they come from an LDS source, you might find some solace in this article.

Post by **_Yong Xi** » Tue May 06, 2008 12:55 am

I cannot even imagine the pain you feel. I wish I could take some of it.

Post by **_ajax18** » Tue May 06, 2008 5:58 am

I don't think you can put a one size fits all punishment on suicide or any crime. We're different people, with different abilities and challenges. God is good, and God will judge. We cannot.

I still believe we live on as spirits after death. Ultimately we'll all die, and we'll all have things about how we lived that we're not proud of, but I believe we'll also have things that we are proud of about how we lived. Maybe happiness in the next life will be about focusing on the good things we accomplished and forgetting or even overcoming our failures.

Post by **_Inconceivable** » Tue May 06, 2008 10:19 am

ajax18 wrote:I don't think you can put a one size fits all punishment on suicide or any crime. We're different people, with different abilities and challenges. God is good, and God will judge. We cannot.

I still believe we live on as spirits after death. Ultimately we'll all die, and we'll all have things about how we lived that we're not proud of, but I believe we'll also have things that we are proud of about how we lived. Maybe happiness in the next life will be about focusing on the good things we accomplished and forgetting or even overcoming our failures.

I think you are right, ajax.

In addition, intent is such an essential concept to factor into our understanding.

There are so few that intend to hurt others by their actions - actions including suicide. There are many of us that never intended to miss the suicidal clues conveyed by others. Even if we did miss them (the clues), it is so essential that we step back and see ourselves for who we are and who we want to be. We need to eventually forgive - we didn't mean for such things to happen, nor did we anticipate the severe reality of them. A time comes when we need to forgive ourselves as well as those that have unintentionaly offended (even those that commit suicide).

Without coming to grips with these two concepts, I just don't see how we can ever get past the overwhelm.

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What Happens After Suicide?

Intent and Forgiveness..