The Need for Young Men to Serve Missions

[_Inconceivable]

There are a lot of fish in the sea, maybe you should both consider moving the fishing boat out into some deeper waters?

I would agree, but I am not at his helm. Mine is but an observation, I already caught my quota.

[_RockSlider]

There are a lot of fish in the sea, maybe you should both consider moving the fishing boat out into some deeper waters?

I would agree, but I am not at his helm. Mine is but an observation, I already caught my quota.

lol, I hear ya!

[_Inconceivable]

Liz,

We're not talking about what you would be willing to do if you were 20 again. I'm making reference to a believing 19-24 year old Mormon woman. Those that influence this potential bride include every Primary, Young Womens leader, her parents and family, the bishop, SP etc.

Did it ever cross your mind that there may be a few LDS mothers like me, who just might be raising their daughters to look at more than just an RM pedigree?

Yes, but you're hardly TBM, Liz. I'm talking about the nucleus of the church that actually consider commandments to be more than just whimsical guidelines. To this subset, I think your daughters might be considered the fish found in those deeper waters Rockslider is refering to.

[_Yoda]

Does your son want to marry a TBM?

[_RockSlider]

Just don't go too deep!

http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorati ... fig3c.html

[_ajax18]

I used to think that if I didn't go on a mission, I'd have to quit the Church as well, just because the nagging and prodding would be too much. While that may be true, I'm not sure this fact is enough motivation to do what the mission requires for two years. At least it wouldn't be for me.

Not going on mission does limit your marriage prospects, but then again so do a lot of things and RM status is just one of many. You might come home sick from your mission without health insurance. You might not achieve a high salary or maybe it will take ten years just to get a position where you can earn enough money to make yourself eligible for marriage. If that were to happen than losing marriage chances from 20-28 due to no mission would become irrelevant.

The military is a great option in this case, but I'm not sure any amount of money is worth dying over. If it were a country I loved and a land that was truly mine, I'd fight for it, but the money just isn't enough to make coming home without a leg worth it, especially when I don't even like half the people in this country and what they have turned America into.

[_Jason Bourne]

If he doesn't go (but remains active), he will spend the rest of his life with the stigma of being a less faithful member - from attending Elder's Quorem to participating as a leader in the young men's program. He'll probably end up like Nehor as an old maid (just for a different reason). Faithful families don't want their daughters to date a mission dodger. I know I didn't.



Thoughts?

inc


I think there is some of this but I think it passed over time. I know many good active LDS men that did not serve missions that are serving in many capacities, married in the temple and happy LDS. I am sure at times they are in situations that are uncomfortable for them as non RMs. But again , I think it is rare.

If a young man does not feel he should serve for whatever reasons I think he should not. It is just too much time and too rigorous. Some go reluctantly and later get into it. But many don't and some become resentful if they are pushed into it.

Anyway I think he will do fine if he does not go but still desires an active LDS life. It may take some time but things can be fine.

One thing I am starting to see some, on a very limited basis, is Church service missions for those who don't go on a full proselyting mission for whatever reasons. But it is spotty and not very formalized yet. I hope the Church does a better job with this option in the future.

[_Jason Bourne]

It's my belief that the "stigma" of not serving a mission fades away within 5-10 years, and by the time the boy is in his 30's, it's irrelevant.

The biggest problem will be if he wants to remain in the Church for those 5-10 years, and especially if he wants to marry an LDS girl. I would think most LDS girls 18-22 are still focused on marrying an RM, and it isn't until their mid-20's that they start getting a little more perspective (and desperate) and will broaden their search criteria. But there will always be good marriage prospects that won't hold it against him, just not as many.

.

Yes Mormon girls are told to focus on marrying an RM. I also taught my older girls this. I wish I had not emphasized it so much. RMs can be jerks as much as anyone and there are non RMs that will make great husbands. I do not focus on this with my youngest daughter.

But Mormon girls have had and will have,fewer RMs to choose from. There are just more active LDS girls then there are RMs. So some will need to choose a man who is not an RM or stay single.

[_twinkie]

This is one of the reasons I became disenchanted with church- I don't want my two sons to feel pressured to go on a mission.

I *do* like the idea of 19 year old boys doing something productive with their life, though- join the army, go to college = anything but sleeping until noon, eating all day, laying around their house in underwear and playing xbox.

[_Inconceivable]

I *do* like the idea of 19 year old boys doing something productive with their life, though..
.. anything but sleeping until noon, eating all day, laying around their house in underwear and playing xbox.

This is a parenting topic worthy of a thread - if you want to know how to deal with discipline, you will have to go outside the church for the tools to implement it.