Joseph Antley wrote:I live in Utah and don't experience any "non-mission" stigma. I know several men who have not served missions who also don't experience it.
It may be a generational thing. The younger you are (and haven't served), maybe the harder members are on you?
(Nevo, Jan 23) And the Melchizedek Priesthood may not have been restored until the summer of 1830, several months after the organization of the Church.
Joseph Antley wrote:I live in Utah and don't experience any "non-mission" stigma. I know several men who have not served missions who also don't experience it.
It may be a generational thing. The younger you are (and haven't served), maybe the harder members are on you?
That does make sense (old Mormon men don't typically ask one another when they meet where they served, unlike twenty-something Mormon males). But since I'm in the latter category, and undoubtedly younger than the good brother who started this thread, I have my doubts.
"I'd say Joseph, that your anger levels are off the charts. What you are, Joseph, is a bully." - Gadianton "Antley's anger is approaching...levels of volcanic hatred." - Scratch
Joseph Antley wrote:But since I'm in the latter category, and undoubtedly younger than the good brother who started this thread, I have my doubts.
Do you think the author of the opening post is lying about his experiences?
.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"
Joseph Antley wrote:But since I'm in the latter category, and undoubtedly younger than the good brother who started this thread, I have my doubts.
Do you think the author of the opening post is lying about his experiences?
.
Of course not. If you read my other posts, you would see that I think it's an attitude problem.
I'm often asked where I served my mission. I tell them I didn't serve. That's usually it. Sometimes they might feel a little awkward. I don't perceive that as persecution.
"I'd say Joseph, that your anger levels are off the charts. What you are, Joseph, is a bully." - Gadianton "Antley's anger is approaching...levels of volcanic hatred." - Scratch
harmony wrote:I live in Utah and don't experience any "non-mission" stigma. I know several men who have not served missions who also don't experience it.
It may be a generational thing. The younger you are (and haven't served), maybe the harder members are on you?
That does make sense (old Mormon men don't typically ask one another when they meet where they served, unlike twenty-something Mormon males). But since I'm in the latter category, and undoubtedly younger than the good brother who started this thread, I have my doubts.
I believe the generational thing is a factor. There are so many other factors to consider as well.
Everyone has a different experience.
Even the heavy flack that has been witnessed firsthand by others is dismissed as an exception and they assume all other experiences are probably greatly exaggerated. One the other hand, any positive experience is believe and not dismissed as just one mean rouge member. After all “don’t let one member represent the Church” – that would have been acceptable to me the first time.
I’ve had a small amount of counseling. It is very fascinating to me the psychology of religion. I was starting to use issues I have with the LDS faith to help convey my pain – to justify my position – to look for sympathy.
The way I look at this is: I’m a draft dodger working in an Army recruitment center. One would have to expect other army members to have a range of negative feeling towards me. I guess I’ve had a quite a few “Code Reds” ordered on me. But of course nobody ordered a “Code Red” they are not in the Army manual.
My wife has major issues if I don’t go to EQ and act/be very TBM. Right now I’m very worn-out about it. The dissonance needs to be resolved.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Just letting others know has help in many ways. I’m glad I found this forum – it has led me to other forums I can benefit from, and maybe get some additional support.
Thanks Liz – I’m still in EQP. I did a minor attempted to get released in regards to work conflicts. Not being able to fully commit in time and mind, stresses me. I could not make the weekly visits or visit all the families. The EQ President said that he thought that I needed the benefit from this calling and he thought that its better I server at 80% then not serve at all.
Wow Logan....your post hit a little too close to home.
I was born in the church and while growing up I could have been the poster boy for Mormon youth. I always felt strange because from the very first time I heard of the concept of serving a mission, I never had much of an urge to do so. When I turned 19 years old I sent my papers in because it was what I was supposed to do. After five weeks in the MTC, I walked.
Two years later I married my girlfriend of three years in the temple. I was 21 years old, she was 20. We began our young married life with me attending BYU and she working full-time to make ends meet. Nearly all of our friends were young married couples in the same boat as us. Every now and then I would be asked where I served my mission and I was met with stunned silence when I told them I didn't go on one.
Eight months into our marriage my wife approached me one evening with some interesting revelations. She told me that she had made a mistake getting married so young, that she should have finished college before getting married and that I had robbed her of her college experience. She said she felt trapped, wished she had married someone more "spiritual", and wished that she had married a returned missionary. All this from someone who asked ME to marry her.
I was devestated. I was too young and dumb to end the marriage right then and there. Instead we went to some useless counseling from the Bishop ("All young married couples go through tough times."). Clearly though the dynamics of our marriage changed. I can look back on that night as the point in our marriage where we started growing apart. There was never an apology or any indication through the years that those weren't her true feelings. I always felt like she had "settled" for me. After 19 years I finally put an end to a marriage that had been dead a long time. When we parted, I couldn't remember the last time we said "I love you" to each other. It had been years.
Though your wife may not realize how painful and cutting her remark was to you, I do know. I feel for you. For me it was like being stranded on an island by myself. I had assumed that my wife had a full understanding of why I wasn't an RM and stood by me in my decision. To find out later those weren't her feelings........uggggghhhhh......quite a blow below the belt.
I wish you luck in your situation with your wife. For what it is worth, I divorced my wife and left the church at the same time. Amazingly, my world got alot warmer and brighter. That was 12 years ago an I have NO regrets. Best of luck to you.
Red flags look normal when you're wearing rose colored glasses.