Physics Guy wrote:How do you deal with Smith's polygamy, Clark? That's just an absolute deal breaker for me. I can't see Smith as anything but a sexual predator, and I can't accept a sexual predator as a prophet. I'm interested in how Mormons think about all the other Mormon things beyond polygamy, but it's an academic interest. Taking Smith's claims to revelation seriously is just off the table for me, really because of that one giant thing. How on earth do you cope with it?
Well like nearly everyone in the contemporary world I'm uncomfortable with it all. Anyone who says they're not is either very unusual, largely ignorant of the situation, or more likely being a bit disingenuous. So I certainly can't fault people for whom that's the big issue.
I approach the question in a rather odd way I suppose. I take seriously the idea that death is just a separation and a change in material properties in some way. I then ask myself were I to die, would I want my wife to remarry? As soon as I say yes, then pretty well the discussion is over. I've committed myself to some sense of polygamy if I'm still alive yet separated, still love my wife, she still loves me and I still want to be with her. At that point it's just negotiation of implementation. The next question is if I died today, my wife would have say 40 years or more of marriage to whomever she would marry. Could I honestly see breaking up that relationship when we're reunited?
Effectively those saying polygamy is
intrinsically wrong are saying that those relationships have to end. To my eyes that's not much different from saying there's no marriage at all. Eternal marriage thus becomes something you do as a checkmark, with everyone reorganized into pairs or else marriage entirely is denied as relationships become moot. As unpalatable as polygamy in this life is those two alternatives sound far, far worse to me.
Of course though what people object to isn't that theoretic questioning I present but to the lived experience of polygamy which frankly is typically pretty horrible for all involved. While some might disagree to my eyes I think most earnestly tried it sincerely and just did an absolutely lousy job of it. Which, given our biological nature is perhaps to be expected. Further ignoring hints of something more expansive in Nauvoo, the way it was presented was intrinsically sexist even if it did allow certain feminist practices to develop (a certain degree of independence that persisted until the transitionary era under Pres. Grant, including practicing gifts of the spirit and the like), women received voting rights earlier than most of the country, women were able to become educated far advance of what was typical, etc. So while it was horrible for most people (especially first wives) in practice it wasn't all bad and I think we have to be careful seeing it just as such.
All that said of course the incentives a basic polygamy structure gives really are quite bad. Heck, men in general are bad during their dating years and the extension of adolescence in our culture the past 25 years has extended that bad behavior in my opinion. Effectively polygamy offered some of those same incentives to married men and in a culture where women just didn't have the independence and rights of today. (And of course we still have a long ways to go culturally in terms of treating women as truly independent individuals) So once you think through the purely economic issues broadly speaking it's hardly surprising that the Church's marriage experiment failed and led to abuse.
But again, when you think through the broader issues I just don't think you can avoid the questions of what relations are like in the hereafter. While I tend to not agree with all the portrayals of Joseph Smith as a sex starved patriarch, I'd also say he clearly didn't implement things terribly well. Hardly surprising again since for all of Joseph's strengths organization really wasn't one of them nor was thinking through practical implications of things. As to why he started it, I think he did so from religious, not sexual commitments. However that doesn't change the economic incentives nor the biological and cultural limitations for any man in that circumstance. I could have wished he did better. I suspect others would have. But that doesn't mean the fundamental theological issues don't remain.
That's probably not at all satisfying of an answer. But that's the best I can give. I think theologically the issue inevitably pops up with anthropomorphic materialism and life after death. Once that happens then given the reality of human nature I think any implementation would lead to abuse. I'm glad it's not required anymore but I'd still want my wife to remarry if I died.