Mormons find genetic link to Lamanites

[_Notoriuswun]

I posted this as a satire on the whole DNA-Lamanite conspiracy. Hope you guys like it!


On Tuesday, several prominent leaders in the Mormon Church descended upon the rural village of Skokie in northern Chicago to proclaim what they are calling the “find of the century”.

In the past, a popular Mormon belief was that the Lamanites (a people in the Book of Mormon) were actually modern-day Native Americans. This belief was refuted by an Australian geneticist, who found conclusive evidence that Native Americans were almost genetically identical to those of Asian descent.

Lately, the LDS church has been genetically testing a lot of the general population in an effort to “find a conclusive genetic link between the Book of Mormon and the America’s”. It seems that their tireless efforts have paid off, as they have found a definitive match from a lot of the populace of the small Chicago village. LDS General Authority Thomas Monson called the new findings “A marvelous work of glory and good upon the face of God’s Earth that will bring back the wondrous beauty and wholesomeness of the Mormon Church”.

Initial reports indicate that most of the people of the Village have a 99.9% genetic identity to those commonly associated with the areas inhabited by Lehi and his family before they crossed the Atlantic Ocean. The church’s general leader and prophet, President Hinckley, spoke briefly and said that “The Church can claim with 100% validity that the people of Skokie are of Jewish descent…which proves the validity of the Book of Mormon”.

It is unknown whether or not the people of Skokie are actually descended from Lehi however, as a lot of their ancestral records were stolen from the town vault nearly two months ago. Rabbi Joseph Weinstein, also the mayor of Skokie, said he is working closely with local authorities to try and recover the missing records.




ps - Shade, you have the most well-balanced website in all the land. I know, I was banned from FAIR a number of times...

[_MormonMendacity]

All my Mormon life I expected someone to find the Holy Grail of Mormonism. The i-told-you-so artifact that answered all the questions and rebuffed all the critics.

The Tree of Life stela that was displayed in the filmstrip "Early America Speaks!" was tantalizing! I was sure I was living in the day when they would locate the silver bullet. These were the end times, the latter days, the final dispensation, the day to prepare for the second coming and the door to the millenium.

How disappointing. Every single bit of scientific evidence declares the Book of Mormon and the Church of Mormonism is a fraud.

Where are the plates, Brother Joseph? Oh right...an "angel" took them.

[_Gazelam]

You don't Like Stela 5 ?

http://farms.BYU.edu/display.php?table=jbms&id=180


Actual Stela 5


Newest rendering of Stone:
http://maxwellinstitute.BYU.edu/pdf.php?filename=MzA0NDc2MTk3LTgtMS5wZGY=&type=amJtcw==

I like this evidence for the Book of Mormon, I think it stands head and shoulders of any other evidence thus far:
http://www.ayahuasca-shamanism.co.uk/Koricancha-2.htm

[_MormonMendacity]

You don't Like Stela 5?

Do you? Do you think Jakeman's interpretation is debunked by the article?

"Without belaboring the point, it is clear that many of Jakeman’s identifications of the monument’s features were forced to fit what he wanted to find...Some Latter-day Saints may still feel the need to seek a relationship between Stela 5 and Book of Mormon history. The Lehi connection that Jakeman espoused goes nowhere, in my opinion.

I like this evidence for the Book of Mormon, I think it stands head and shoulders of any other evidence thus far:
http://www.ayahuasca-shamanism.co.uk/Koricancha-2.htm

And did it do a better job for you? Could you please give me some specific examples of how this is "head and shoulders" above any other evidence? I failed to see any connection. I also failed to see any Hebrew writing. I find that particularly odd since Moroni ostensibly wrote about 400 A.D.:

And if our plates had been sufficiently large we should have written in Hebrew; but the Hebrew hath been altered by us also; and if we could have written in Hebrew, behold, ye would have had no imperfection in our record.

I'd be really interested in how your references steady your belief in the Book of Mormon.

Thanks.

[_Mercury]

You don't Like Stela 5 ?

http://farms.BYU.edu/display.php?table=jbms&id=180


Actual Stela 5


Newest rendering of Stone:
http://maxwellinstitute.BYU.edu/pdf.php?filename=MzA0NDc2MTk3LTgtMS5wZGY=&type=amJtcw==

I like this evidence for the Book of Mormon, I think it stands head and shoulders of any other evidence thus far:
http://www.ayahuasca-shamanism.co.uk/Koricancha-2.htm

This is not evidence, its wishful thinking on the part of Mormons and the kneejerk apologists who slop poor unjustified observations onto the more than willing Mormon public.

Having read the papers produced by FARMS concerning the stella I am appauled now to believe that the document is even taken seriously by Mormonism. It stands as yet another laughable assumption from the pseudoscientific approach taken by FARMS.

Those who believe it represents Lehi'sdream are looking for an excuse to objectify their marginalised religion.

[_Gazelam]

I personally have no problem with Stela 5 representing Lehis dream. It appears that elemants of Apostacy may have leaked into the artwork, but the basic structure of Lehis vision are present. The Old man instructing the child, who in turn teaches others. The river and Iron rod, the great and spacious building, the tree and the fruit. All are evident.

the other link I provided is evidence of the Temple in South America. The elements of the Temple and its teachings are plain to anyone even slightly familiar with them. Apostacy elements are there as well, but the evidence remains.

[_MormonMendacity]

Having read the papers produced by FARMS concerning the stella I am appauled now to believe that the document is even taken seriously by Mormonism. It stands as yet another laughable assumption from the pseudoscientific approach taken by FARMS.

Those who believe it represents Lehi'sdream are looking for an excuse to objectify their marginalised religion.

That's what I was saying, too. The very FARMS article Gaz quotes debunks Stela 5! They indicate Jakeman did a terrible job in analyzing the stone.

But a TBM -- as I once was, too -- will find evidence in tadpole droppings, I guess.

[_fubecabr]

- Artwork is subject to interpretation, that's one of the great things about it
- The Tree of Life concept is NOT unique to Mormonism. It is found in other "pagan" religions.
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_of_Life

Now to address the temple of the sun, shrine of the moon, and the shrine of Venus, Pleiades and the stars.

Hmm, what are the prominent objects in the sky? The sun, moon, and the stars. Humans have always been fascinated with celestial bodies. And I don't see the connection to the Book of Mormon with these shrines since the Book of Mormon does not mention 3 degrees of glory. It also doesn't mention Melchizedek Preisthood, eternal marriage, eternal progression, the pre-existance, and condemns polygamy. But remember, it has the fullness of the everlasting gospel.

[_Mephitus]

hehe, i could also just as easily use that stone pic as an example of asatru. It does seem to contain many things from my religion. Yggdrasil being the primary theme in that picture being a prime example.

[_Gazelam]

You guys are missing the whole larger picture here, these things ar efound all over the world because they were taught to Noah, then they spread out at the Tower of Babel.