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Greetings....The Holy Ghost here.

I've chosen this forum to get a few things straight about what's what in the world. The first thing we have to talk about is The Creation story, which was much distorted in the Bible.

Here's my version of the sad affair:

Right after We Created the Universe, me and God had something of a falling out. I wanted to hire none union guys and finish the Universe in four days so that we'd have a three day weekend, but God had to go with some union guys from the Local 324. Those guys were lazy....they fit right in with God. All they did was stand around the coffee pot and point at stuff. I had to finish everything. Separating light and dark...me. Water and dry land....me. God didn't do crap except creating you humans, and look how well that turned out. *roll eyes*

Next thing to clear up is the whole Noah's Ark thing. After God screwed up Adam and Eve (he had to plant that Seed of Knowledge...I told him not to plant the Seed of Knowledge...but does he listen? Nooooo!) I cleaned up the whole mess and created some more people, because I am not into that whole incest thing (leave that crap for people from Deliverance). I would like to state for the record that these people weren't wicked, they were great. They rocked. They actually made Socialism work! Now that's saying something.

The people that got stuck in that boat were actually the few wicked people God (his real name is Leslie) could round up. God went and drowned all the good folks while those people sat in the Love Boat and gambled. I actually had to build several more Arks and feed and clean up after two of every animal (and dang was I tired). Needless to say, you people are the descendants of those gamblers in the Love Boat. Congratulations.

God has spited me at every turn, and I'm ready for some payback. I'm the forgotten third wheel in the Trinity, and I'm ready to break out of my shell and set some things straight. So I'll be dropping in periodically to clear up misconceptions about what's what.

T.H. Ghost.

Well, well, isn't this special and marvelous? And you're so cute!!

There's something I'd like cleared up, and that's the Mormon idea that you will flee from their presence at the first sign of wrong doing or even wrong thinking. You wouldn't do that, would you? Flee when they need you the most? Please tell me you don't do that. My brother-in-law really needs you and he doesn't even know it. Thank you.

Lucretia MacEvil wrote:Well, well, isn't this special and marvelous? And you're so cute!!

Why thank you. I actually created man in my image, but the sun was toasting people and they were being eaten by various animals. So we went with Leslie's image. *sigh*

There's something I'd like cleared up, and that's the Mormon idea that you will flee from their presence at the first sign of wrong doing or even wrong thinking. You wouldn't do that, would you? Flee when they need you the most? Please tell me you don't do that. My brother-in-law really needs you and he doesn't even know it. Thank you.

No I won't flee at the first sign of trouble. Or the second sign. Or the third sign. But four strikes and you're out.

I've lately been rather hands off. I developed a real inferiority complex during the Cretaceous Period after I killed the dinosaurs with a rogue comet. Tell your BIL to not listen to any burning bosoms (I communicate through gall stones and urinary infections) because that's Legion. Legion's a bad mother...

THG

T. H. Ghost wrote:

Lucretia MacEvil wrote:Well, well, isn't this special and marvelous? And you're so cute!!

Why thank you. I actually created man in my image, but the sun was toasting people and they were being eaten by various animals. So we went Leslie's image. *sigh*

There's something I'd like cleared up, and that's the Mormon idea that you will flee from their presence at the first sign of wrong doing or even wrong thinking. You wouldn't do that, would you? Flee when they need you the most? Please tell me you don't do that. My brother-in-law really needs you and he doesn't even know it. Thank you.

No I won't flee at the first sign of trouble. Or the second sign. Or the third sign. But four strikes and you're out.

I've lately been rather hands off. I developed a real inferiority complex during the Cretaceous Period after I killed the dinosaurs with a rogue comet. Tell your BIL to not listen to any burning bosoms (I communicate through gall stones and urinary infections) because that's Legion. Legion's a bad mother...

THG

That's really interesting, because he actually had a kidney stone. Anyway, your story is heartbreaking and I had no idea all this was going on. Thanks for sharing with us.