Inconceivable wrote:After discovering for myself a portion of the unspoken fiction that has destroyed much of the faithful history of Mormonism, I have found it difficult to trust much of the feelings I have grown accustomed to over my lifetime.
I held fast to the doctrine that either the church was true or all of it's claims were entirely a fraud. I suppose that because I believed that it was either all or nothing, all of the spiritual experiences I witnessed through out my life I chalked up as clues to it's authenticity.
As I reflect back on all the many "witnesses" I have received confirming faithful history that were blatantly false, I feel even a greater sense of betrayal - and anger.
I've felt physically sick, lost much sleep (and still do), begun to hate much of what I used to enjoy. I am finding that I view the church as a congregation of deceived and deceivers (as the angry P.Porter states).
I certainly have little peace and the spiritual clues have ceased.
Inspite of the fact that I think I'm lost, somehow I must be better off with the dilema I now face than what I didn't know as a TBM.
I can see why there are those that are now atheists - perhaps because some have yet to reject the doctrine of ALL or Nothing.
I am looking for the third choice - I am hoping that perhaps there are certain principles that are eternal.
For those of you that make up the board, what have you found that brings peace to the troubled soul?
MG: here is how I see it. Anything of worth over the long haul is going to take work. Literal and/or figurative sweat and tears. That which is of greater worth will typically be preceded by more opportunities to muddle through a wider range of experiences/situations which will involve sweat and tears, again literally or figuratively. Same with happiness. Happiness can be found along a spectrum. That happiness which is eternal/secure requires a greater degree of nurturing, work, sweat, and a few tears along the way.
Sacrifice is part of the mix too.
Graduating beyond the primary/seminary version of Mormonism,
and yet remaining active, provides opportunities to experience hardships, learnings, progressions, sweat and tears, happinesses, insights, etc. that can't be found/tapped without
going through it. Those that leave the church behind, physically and/or mentally-spiritually without moving beyond the primary/seminary days mentality/paradigm are bound for some frustrations, disappointments, and possible disillusionment as they come to find that there is more to assimilate (new Mormon history, science and religion, church institutional issues, revelatory conundrums...and on and on) than they ever thought in their wildest dreams that they would have to. To find that truth is not wrapped up in one little tidy package (LDS'ism TM) with a bow on top (In other words's that the world is a
much bigger place than just Mormonism) can be somewhat disconcerting to those that may have believed this to be the case.
For me, peace is knowing that I don't have to have all the answers...that in fact I can have more questions than answers, and still remain an active member of the church. Peace, knowing that when all is said and done it is not unreasonable to believe in God. That it is not unreasonable that God has a plan/purpose for all of his creations. That it is not unreasonable to think that we are children of a loving Father. That it is not unreasonable to think that the LDS church/gospel of Jesus Christ plays an integral and important part in God's plan for the eternal welfare/happiness of at least a portion of his children, if not all. That it is not unreasonable to consider the fact that life gets messy in and out of the church because of the agency/nature of man and that this
fact needs to be factored into everything that we experience in and out of the church. That it is not unreasonable to consider the possibility of life after life, and that this life is in some way a preparation...at least for some...for that future existence. That it is not unreasonable to excercise faith in that which is not seen but in which to some degree there are some indicators/evidences that this faith may not be misplaced.
The PP's, Scratch's, Bond's, Shades of this board have issues because they have not been able to move beyond a primary/seminary outlook towards the world and the church. They will say they have, but I honestly don't believe this to be the case. They are black/white thinkers...if you can call it thinking. They grew up literally thinking that all the thinking that ever had to be thunk had been done by someone other than themselves. They are very simplistic and naïve in their outlook towards what and who God is and how he may or may not operate in the universe. If he doesn't conform to their image, then he doesn't exist. They are ready and happy to jump on the secular bandwagon without the least provocation. They will say otherwise and call those such as myself a fool for even alluding to the possibility that this may be the case, but nonetheless, it is not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that they are the ones that have been duped and deluded into thinking "inside the box" of skepticism and doubt, to the exclusion of other possibilities.
To find out that Mormonism was not simply what they larned in primary/seminary and reading the New Era or Ensign threw them for a loop from which they never were able to extricate themselves and recover. Thus, we find them and others like them supposedly "recovering" over at the RFM board or here.
I go back to my first two paragraphs. I think it is not unreasonable to consider that what I've said there makes sense and may well even be true. If you are truly looking for peace rather than being forced to adhere only to the mushy, new age, rather simplistic formula that Bond put forward in his post (even if he was on acid...he he he), you may want to consider the possibility that truth is to be found within the LDS church.
Best wishes,
MG