What Happens After Suicide?

[_hypatia]

Two years ago, on New Year's Eve, and after a 10 year struggle with depression, my husband of 31 years committed suicide. Two months ago, my beautiful and incredible daughter ended her life in the same manner as her father.

Where are they now?

How do I survive this one and go through this again?

[_Imwashingmypirate]

I feel incredibly sad for you. Forget the LDS view. There is no such thing as heaven or hell, were in it.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. They are somewhere and you don't have to worry about them. It is life and people have to deal with such things everyday.

Are you OK though????????

[_hypatia]

I feel incredibly sad for you. Forget the LDS view. There is no such thing as heaven or hell, were in it.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. They are somewhere and you don't have to worry about them. It is life and people have to deal with such things everyday.

Are you OK though????????

I want so much to agree with your view of the infinity of energy.

However, I just feel devoid of emotion right now except the deep, deep loss I have for
my wonderful daughter. There is no room inside me for anything else except the
terrible anguish of my most wonderful child. I wish she would call, or walk in
the front door. Do you know the other day I emailed her....hoping, just hoping?
I want her here with me like it used to be.

I don't bathe, wash my hair, food and stuff just sits. The only thing I can get enough energy
to do is feed the pets. I just want all this gone. I don't want this nightmare to be my
reality.

[_Imwashingmypirate]

I understand. It wont go easily. It is something you will have to learn to live with. It is tremendously hard. Was your daughter quite young? Please don't do or even think of doing anything silly. Do seek counselling. It will do wonders. Be with family. Being alone will make it worse. Do anything you can to get out your house. When you are alone it will be much worse. Your feelings are normal, please don't feel alone. Your family will love you always no matter their reasons for leaving. I do not believe god is man but rather nature, but I do believe in a spirit world in another energy level. It is a law of Physics that energy cannot be created or destroyed. This is fact. I don't believe anyone really ENDS, ut the move on and continue in another way.

[_moksha]

Hypatia, horrendous events occurred in your life and they continue to take their toll. Grieving is natural but life goes on and it is better not to be continually depressed.

What can help? Before the folks here can suggest much, it would be good to know is you have been in therapy, to help cope with life, since these suicides.

[_Jersey Girl]

I feel incredibly sad for you. Forget the LDS view. There is no such thing as heaven or hell, were in it.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. They are somewhere and you don't have to worry about them. It is life and people have to deal with such things everyday.

Are you OK though????????

I want so much to agree with your view of the infinity of energy.

However, I just feel devoid of emotion right now except the deep, deep loss I have for
my wonderful daughter. There is no room inside me for anything else except the
terrible anguish of my most wonderful child. I wish she would call, or walk in
the front door. Do you know the other day I emailed her....hoping, just hoping?
I want her here with me like it used to be.

I don't bathe, wash my hair, food and stuff just sits. The only thing I can get enough energy
to do is feed the pets. I just want all this gone. I don't want this nightmare to be my
reality.

hypatia,

My heart hurts for you. I remember for years, thinking that if I were to dial my mother's phone number that she might answer and I would hear her voice again.

But I have heard her voice.

I hear it when I sing or when my children speak. I hear it and see her speak to me in my dreams. I wake up trying to will myself back to sleep so that I could go back to that place between dreaming and waking up.

I know what grief is and I know what depression is.

The hole inside of you is where love used to be and it feels full of anguish because you have great loss and your loved one's aren't with you to fill you up each day, and so there is a hole. One day memories will come back to you and that is when you will begin to feel more whole again.

But not right now.

I don't know where your loved ones are but I do know where you are. Grief takes time, hyptia.

Allow yourself to go through it for on the other side of the hole is a sense of resolve in knowing that there are things we can't control or know. There are rich memories of love that no one can take away from you.

One day you will look back to see that you have built a bridge from this time to the next.

But not right now.

You have to grieve, you have to cry, you have to shove it aside and then come back to it again.

And then do that over and over again.

And then you build a bridge.

Jersey Girl

[_Imwashingmypirate]

Jersey Girl. You always make me wonder. Your advice is ace. ALWAYS.

[_Scottie]

I am so so sorry for your losses.

Although it doesn't come close to what you've experienced, I lost a brother to suicide.

It was one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. I cannot even imagine what you are going through.

You can't, and shouldn't, ever forget their memories. But, time does heal all wounds. You will always feel a sadness for what has happened, but as the years go on, the saddness will change from a sense of loss to a sense of remembering what was. At least, it did for me. When I think about him now, I still miss him, but I remember the great times we had together.

And, I agree, that counselling is in order for the amount of trauma you have suffered.

I don't think you mentioned your relation with the LDS church. Are you an active member?

May I ask how old your daughter was? Could you perhaps tell us some of the wonderful things about her and her father?

[_hypatia]

I am so so sorry for your losses.

Although it doesn't come close to what you've experienced, I lost a brother to suicide.

It was one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. I cannot even imagine what you are going through.

You can't, and shouldn't, ever forget their memories. But, time does heal all wounds. You will always feel a sadness for what has happened, but as the years go on, the saddness will change from a sense of loss to a sense of remembering what was. At least, it did for me. When I think about him now, I still miss him, but I remember the great times we had together.

And, I agree, that counselling is in order for the amount of trauma you have suffered.

I don't think you mentioned your relation with the LDS church. Are you an active member?

May I ask how old your daughter was? Could you perhaps tell us some of the wonderful things about her and her father?

I am truly sorry about your brother. I began the thread on two forums because I didn't know in which I would get the kind of answers I was stretching for. So a couple of answers here will be repeated regarding your post.

I am a former LDS...with TBM relatives.

Thank you all for your words of sympathy. However, I truly did want and need a variety of personal views on what happens after suicide...for the victims as well as myself.

I am "stuck" in a spot where I thought I would never be and I don't know where to go or what to do to make things better. Half of my family is gone--my husband and my only daughter at 22. I waited 36 years to have her. We were incredibly close, as strange as that sounds. We chatted twice on the day of her death. I am at a lost. There is now only my son who lives in Louisiana and myself. He has built a life for himself and is looking towards the future, as he should.

What about my future? I planned it once with a husband; I reconstructed it once again after his death. Presently, I am out of personal reconstruction energy. I am supposed to be entering those Golden Years we worked so hard for.
I just wish I could have my old life back.

I am angry with my husband. By his own suicide he has given my children permission that suicide was an option, an avenue to solve seemingly insolvable problems. One incredible daughter has already been taken from me...

[_Inconceivable]

My heart goes out to you hypatia.

There are many things I am unsure of. However, I would suggest taking some time to read the accounts of those who have had near death experiences (NDE's). I think there you might gain some greater understanding concerning purpose, future and unconditional love.

It may sound trite, but, find a place to volunteer/contribute to easing the pain and suffering of others. Fill your deep emptyness with love and compassion. Make it a santuary.

Come to terms with the intents of your heart. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Spend less time reminding yourself of who you hold acountable. Rather, give yourself reasons to forgive. Don't hold them or yourself hostage to your current judgements. Let it go.