DiscussMormonism.com

I am married and all the people around me think that I am happily married but I don't think so. I am married to a Mormon guy, seems fine: no smoking, drinking, alcohol, blah-blah-blah, but he hardly ever notices me. I wish sometimes he weren't Mormon and loved me more than being such a "look-at-me-I-am-sooooo-righteous" and being a bad husband? I think he is. People just see what they see, they don't know what is real and what is just show-off. Anyone has any thoughts on that? Ladies? Guys? I am not a big believe in divorce but sometimes I think it is for the best. But what's I say: I want to leave him because I think he doesn't love me? Because he has double standards?

Have you sat down and had a heart-to-heart with him about this?

Dr. Shades wrote:Have you sat down and had a heart-to-heart with him about this?

Been there, done that. Didn't work though.

Please do not mistaken this board for a legitimate marriage counselor.

in my opinion, if you don't like your life, then do something about it.

Sleepwalker wrote:I am married and all the people around me think that I am happily married but I don't think so. I am married to a Mormon guy, seems fine: no smoking, drinking, alcohol, blah-blah-blah, but he hardly ever notices me. I wish sometimes he weren't Mormon and loved me more than being such a "look-at-me-I-am-sooooo-righteous" and being a bad husband? I think he is. People just see what they see, they don't know what is real and what is just show-off. Anyone has any thoughts on that? Ladies? Guys? I am not a big believe in divorce but sometimes I think it is for the best. But what's I say: I want to leave him because I think he doesn't love me? Because he has double standards?

You might have two issues going on at the same time. First, I don't know of any marriage that doesn't struggle in one fashion or another. To look at your spouse and say, "I need to return him, he's broken" is normal. (And incidently, I don't think just one good heart to heart fixes anything. Time). What I'm saying is, you may have marriage problems and time and energy may be required if you want to address this. BUT, it has little to do with being Mormon or not.

Second, the "look-at-me" syndrome isn't that odd either. I was a dick once. I got better. And again, it doesn't matter if he's Mormon or muslim, he may be suffering any number of things. A need for attention comes to mind.

But, as has been said, if you feel you could use some help with the marriage, I would go professional. This place is great for opinions and tid-bits of advice, but not real help.

$.02

Do you do things to get him to notice you in a good way, or do you expect it to happen without any effort on your part?

Break him out of his stupor. Sounds like he might be in a rut. Plan something that will make him take note and think you're the greatest wife ever. You should know how to do this if you married the guy. If he still does nothing, go for counseling.

Also ask yourself if it's his fault for not loving you or if it's both of your faults for not loving each other. This may not solve the problem but may make the approach to solving it much more of a group effort.

Awe, Try getting kinky with him, my mum said, couples who play to gather stay together, and all work and no play makes Jack a dull day.

LMPO, In the Bible (Hebrew version) there are three types of love, and when the three types of love burn as one, it makes an huge flame. I am quite sure he will grow out of it.

I guess you would have to be suttle [sp?] though.

Boaz, people often come to this board with issues and problems in their lives, why should that change now? I think perhaps it would have moe benefit in a more appropriate forum.

I can't advise, I've never been there, I think it all depends on what you want out of the relationship. Changing your spouse is not gonna be easy, but I do believe church offers counselling services and you could even seek help outside of church.

Perhaps you bish could help, unless your husband is your bishop lol.

I love your signature line sleepwalker. I always saw people responding, "Life isn't fair," as a copout, especially when we're expected to be fair.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

All is well!