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I am struggling with an addiction to internet pornography. I have gotten a little better over the last couple of years, but I still make mistakes every once in a while.

I am married, and my wife and kids are wonderful. I realize the need for repentance, and while I'm not currently progressing in that way, I want to.

My fear is that I can't repent without confessing what I have done. I'm afraid that if I confess, I will lose my wife and my kids. My wife has been through this in the past with me, and I have assured her that I am done with it. I don't think she will be patient with it again.

Welcome to the forum. Don't beat yourself up, I don't know of anyone who would truely be immune to visual stimulation catered to their own specific preferences. Your wife probably has her own "specific interests" too. Maybe if you can experiment to discover what hers are, she will begin to appreciate the visual outlet. Be open, and never judge, so she can trust you you to not hold her vulnerabilities against her, and that possibly could open her up to not hold your vulnerabilities against you. Just be straightforward, and keep the communication channel open in order to explore the sexual elements or your relationship with her. . . and hers to you.

You can confess to your bishop without confessing to her, can't you?

Confess to the One who is your mediator. Read Hebrews.

The only type of sexual sin that would require confession would be adultery. This porn issue is something that is between you and the Lord.

This might seem weird and may or may not be for you. Try an experiment. Spend one week where all you do is think of your wife's happiness, joy, and pleasure. For her, that might be how you dress, cleaning the kitchen, holding her hand. Fantasize about her as often as possible and tell her about it - write her notes or emails. Ask her what she wants at home, away from home, in the bedroom, whatever. Show her you can't stop thinking about her. It might be hard to go a whole week like this but consider it an experiment that will end...or not. Show her that you have no consideration for your own pleasure for the time being. Don't expect or ask for anything in return. Talk to her a lot - no TV or personal interests - only her interests. Put your mind into it. You are not playing a game. It is real - because it could become real - in a way. And for heaven's sake, let the guilt go for the week. Consider yourself a new man.

It may not be for you, I don't know.

zeezrom wrote:This might seem weird and may or may not be for you. Try an experiment. Spend one week where all you do is think of your wife's happiness, joy, and pleasure. For her, that might be how you dress, cleaning the kitchen, holding her hand. Fantasize about her as often as possible and tell her about it - write her notes or emails. Ask her what she wants at home, away from home, in the bedroom, whatever. Show her you can't stop thinking about her. It might be hard to go a whole week like this but consider it an experiment that will end...or not. Show her that you have no consideration for your own pleasure for the time being. Don't expect or ask for anything in return. Talk to her a lot - no TV or personal interests - only her interests. Put your mind into it. You are not playing a game. It is real - because it could become real - in a way. And for heaven's sake, let the guilt go for the week. Consider yourself a new man

It may not be for you, I don't know.

Will you marry me? LOL

I think that confessing or admitting out loud, so that you can actually hear yourself plainly state the thing that is your weakness, makes it a reality outside of the privacy of your mind. Confessing or admitting this thing to another trusted person does not absolve you from your error, but hopefully you gain a relationship of accountability. The person you confess to must be trust worthy and willing to assist you and agree to be the "go to" person in your quest to give up porn on the net.
It is much easier to sin anonymously than to sin when you know someone will be asking you direct questions about particular activities.
The Bishop will be more than willing to be that person, but he may also want you to tell your wife and may want to pronounce restrictions on you according to his interpretation of his position.
Your wife would be a good choice. Tell her you slipped up, wanted her to know about it, and would appreciate her support. (not knowing your relationship, this may be a bad idea)
You may have a friend that you would be comfortable asking for some help.
All these things are about you confessing so as not to grow a huge chiasm of guilt and self hatred, which is what people with a conscience and a fear "to tell" often do. This becomes a spiral of decline.
Repentance is between you and your God. If you believe you need to be forgiven, then He is the only one that can do that for you. After he forgives you and you continue to do the best you can, you must also forgive yourself. It's not how many times you fall that counts, it's how many times you get up and try again.

liz3564 wrote:

zeezrom wrote:It may not be for you, I don't know.

Will you marry me? LOL

Bring that up with my wife. It will be a hard sell but you could try the dynastic angle to see if that might be convincing. Angels with flames and swords or even glowing swords or light sabers may not even do the trick around here. She is a very wise woman.

zeezrom wrote:This might seem weird and may or may not be for you. Try an experiment. Spend one week where all you do is think of your wife's happiness, joy, and pleasure. For her, that might be how you dress, cleaning the kitchen, holding her hand. Fantasize about her as often as possible and tell her about it - write her notes or emails. Ask her what she wants at home, away from home, in the bedroom, whatever. Show her you can't stop thinking about her. It might be hard to go a whole week like this but consider it an experiment that will end...or not. Show her that you have no consideration for your own pleasure for the time being. Don't expect or ask for anything in return. Talk to her a lot - no TV or personal interests - only her interests. Put your mind into it. You are not playing a game. It is real - because it could become real - in a way. And for heaven's sake, let the guilt go for the week. Consider yourself a new man.

It may not be for you, I don't know.

Zeez,
I can see of no other way to overcome an obsession to look somewhere else for what I would call distractions from hapiness.