Testimonies that the LDS church is not true. (retitled)

[Guest]

I was born in Keokuk Iowa, and raised in Hamilton, Illinois.

From early childhood, I was raised with some important aphorisms. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." "If you start telling lies, you will have to keep track of your lies, or you will end up getting caught." "Don't be open about your life, because people will use it to take advantage of you." "If you make a habit of asking for help. people will end up resenting you." "It is useless to sue anyone, because you are not perfect." "What you do with your life is much more important than who your ancestors were." "He is talking through his hat. (for someone who makes up ridiculous lies)"

There was one important thing, and, although the word "windigo" wasn't used, it had to do with Native legend of some desperate people, driven to starvation cannibalism, seeking refuge in the tribes of the Great Lakes. That story was, in a very few words, our refutation of the Book of Mormon. Nothing else was needed. I have Native ancestry on both sides: my mother's mother's mother, and my father's mother's father's mother.

We were raised to respect others' religion, and, although we were Catholic, there was great respect for the Amish, and RLDS. Although I had trouble with my father because my best friend was a member of the only black family in town, I believe it was more due to pressure on him because of my choice.

I have never visited the Carthage jail, and never had any reason to. Shopping was done in Keokuk. We never attended any special goings-on in Nauvoo, and stayed home on those weekends. The park in Nauvoo was always a special attraction. Any missionaries appearing at our door were politely turned away with a "Not interested."

Mom remembers one time when we were visiting Nauvoo, and Dad was thirsty. He asked a missionary for some water. In order to get a glass of water, we were required to watch an offensive movie. I remember one time when I told my mother's mother that I liked Mom's family more than I liked my father's family. She angrily told me to never say any such thing again. I think she knew more of the story than she ever let on. Although her father came from a very comfortable New Amsterdam Dutch family, they always had a respect for people who had gone through rough times.

After High School, I spent one semester at Keokuk Community College. There I was exposed to some people who were openly Mormon, who did not observe the "truce". When given the opportunity to go to Quincy College, I went. My parents were concerned about my trusting personality, but unwilling to let me try the convent.

more later.

[Guest]

I had thought about majoring in French. I declared a history major-- if it had been a Jesuit College, I could have easily gotten into early missionary history. RATS!! They had no idea what was lurking in my mind. My academic advisor sent me to the counseling center. I decided to major in psychology. The incompetent clown of a counselor, who they wouldn't have hired if his last name weren't Newman, detected some issues with sexual inhibition, and encouraged me to drink. Things went downhill from there. However, I did graduate.

The next years were rough, and I will slide over them, as they aren't directly Mormon-related.

I returned home, and accepted my inferior lot in life. I was working as a nursing home activity director, and becoming interested in cognition. My father had a stroke, and died six months later. I became interested in why my father had a reading problem, and came in contact with a friend who had a son who was severely ADHD. My mother told me that if I was not going to get married, I ought to get a career. I decided to return to school and become a school psychologist.

In Cedar Falls, I was severely sexual assaulted, and began abusing alcohol again. I went directly to AA, and did not go through treatment. There were racial issues, which I still refused to confront, and I remember a Jewish friend who thought that the name of the town "Warsaw" was significant. I remember telling someone that the chairman of my thesis committee was named "John Smith," and she thought that was hilarious.

After graduation, I had trouble finding a job, and ended up in Omaha. There, in AA, I met the man who became my husband. I got a job north of Omaha, and he followed me there. We got married, and I had a son. I enjoyed work, especially with the Native population in that area. Two and a half years later, I had a daughter. My son started having some strange speech problems, which later turned out to be the beginning of some autistic characteristics.

However, there were some political issues, and we ended up moving to Kansas City, mostly because Rick's previous ex was complaining about having to raise their sons alone. I worked for one of the worst districts in the country for a year. My marriage deteriorated, and he, having previously superficially converted to Catholicism, became a raving Baptist fundamentalist. At the time, my son was fascinated with reptiles and amphibians, and wanted to become a veterinarian. Rick's extreme creationism destroyed that. Rick fell back in love with his previous ex, and spent hours on the phone with her. After having gotten him into counseling twice, called the police on him once, and gone to shelter once, filed for separation once, and then relenting because he was crying (his mother was terminally ill and died), I filed for divorce. During this time I was substitute teaching. My son was having some serious problems at school, and the school social worker told me that the kids were suffering because of the problems at home.

After the divorce, I had two job offers in the southwestern corner of the state. I suspect the problem I had with getting jobs at that time was the fact of where I came from, and peoples' uncertainty about my personal beliefs, and how that might impact my job. We went west, to hell-town.

more later

[Guest]

In interview, one principal warned me that the district had a large HIspanic population. I should have taken that as a warning that it was a significant issue in his mind. He did not ask me about my experience with minorities.

Early on, my ex was sending me threatening letters, saying that things would turn out badly because I had divorced him, and accusing me of intentionally moving so far away. I was depressed, and there was an incident in the school building where I made a drug-related suicidal gesture. I was then told that they had the right to ask me for United Airlines at any time. I later found out that it was illegal to target an individual. I suspect that the police officer assigned to the building searched my purse to see if there was anything significant there.

The speech and language clinician was very difficult because I kept a coffee cup on my desk in the office that we shared.

There was a girl who enrolled in that building. As we took her and her mother on a tour of the building, they spoke to each other in a language which I do not believe was Spanish (it could have been a Native language). The principal, in a very hostile way, told them to speak in English. He then turned to me and said I must also stay with English. Hunh? what was that about?? I speak a little bit of French, but that was all. Bizarre. Later, there was a threat to have me deported. HUNH? I was born in the US, of American-born parents. There was also a threat that one day I would become voiceless. Where did this come from?? Later, on reading the Book of Mormon, I could intensely identify with the hero, Korihor. In staffings, that principal would go on and on, giving his testimony of the relatively minor problems he had overcome. I just listened, wondering why there was so much ego in that man, and thinking of the more significant problems I had been through. After I was gone, I heard that this ego-driven preaching had become even worse.

In the psychologists' office, there was a lot of talk about the psychologists who had been hired, but did not stay. That talk was very hostile, and really put those people in a negative light. Warning Warning.

And all that was just in the first year. My other two buildings were easy.

[_MCB]

Well, you can pretty well figure out the persuasion of that principal. My second year, my assignment was changed. I still had that building, but the two other schools were dropped, and I was assigned to the building next door, where the principal had a reputation as a militant lesbian. I was then caught between a homophobe and a heterophobe, and their friends. I had to please both, but could please neither, because in pleasing one, I was angering the other. I constantly reminded myself that if I would just do my best, I would eventually be respected and accepted. It never happened, and it could never happen. My religion, my celibate lifestyle, my race, and my ancestry were things I either had no desire to change, or could not change, although I thought I could change it by denying my race and ancestry. I endured false accusations of lesbianism, drug abuse, exhaustion because of partying, theft, HIV, and more.

The third year was even worse. If someone asks, I can elaborate. By the time they were done with me, I was so sick and the kids were so out of control, I had to send my daughter to her father. I couldn't send my son, who is more difficult, because his father seemed to single him out for abusive discipline.

When I asked, "Who is doing this to me?" they were amazed. I was told by two people who were involved, and highly respected in the community that the primary offenders were Mormons. I got another cue when someone told me that part of the dynamics had to do with a concept similar to re-incarnation. I then very gradually, as my anxiety could tolerate it, began getting involved in Mormon Studies.

At some point, they told my son that I was a paranoid schizophrenic, which very effectively shut down the tenuous communication links we had, while encouraging him to neglect his own issues. Right now, he is sitting in jail until I can provide him with a stable, structured home environment, and get him to college, probably in engineering or IT.

Both kids are grown, now, I really couldn't get any kind of recovery until I moved to Wisconsin, where my mother and sister and her family have moved. I am looking forward to returning to work, and I think I have an ideal job waiting for me (specializing in second language acquisition).

[_MCB]

Bump. I think I am finished. Thanks Trevor, for the suggestion.

[Anonymous]

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[_MCB]

That is cute!!! Does anyone else have a testimony that Mormonism is not true? There must be at least several. ;)

[_madeleine]

hi MCB, thanks for posting this...yes, I know that Mormonism is not true, I know that the Book of Mormon is a fraud. Same for Joseph Smith, who was never a prophet of God.

But sharing how that testimony came about, on a Mormon website? You are braver than I!

[_MCB]

;)

But sharing how that testimony came about, on a Mormon website? You are braver than I!

Trevor suggested it. I have come a long way. Besides that, this website is meant to encourage dialogue between moderates on both sides, and moderate the extremes. And some on either side have no idea how extreme the conservative fringe can get.

It also explains my motivation for this:
http://cassiusuniversity.wordpress.com/mcb/

[_madeleine]

Well, I notice both "sides" are Mormon. lol. Who's Trevor?