My Spiritual Journey from Mormonism to Daheshism

[_daheshism]

A SEEKER OF TRUTH
My Spiritual Journey from Mormonism to the Baha'i Faith to
THE NOBLE SPIRITUAL FAITH (Daheshism)



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MY NAME IS DARRICK EVENSON. I was born in 1960 in Santa Monica, California. According to my mother, the day I was brought home I was placed into a crib. My mother was lying down on her bed, and a shining cross appeared in the doorway, and it came into the room and slowly came to my crib and hovered over me for a few minutes then began to "wiggle" and then faded away. My mother was not raised in any church, and in fact never was religious and was Agnostic all of her life. I hope this "vision" meant a good thing and not a bad thing. I'll assume for now it means a good thing.
I too was raised in no religion. My father told me about reincaration a few times, but I never went to any church except for a Methodist Sunday School when I was five so my mother would have some time off. I never entered another church from the time I was five until I became a Mormon at age 18. I was a Mormon from age 18 to age 35, when I resigned. I was a Baha'i until 1998 at the age of 37, when I also resigned. In 2005 I became a Daheshist, a follower of Doctor Dahesh (1912-1984), the miracle-working Prophet of Lebanon. This short article will tell you why I made this spiritual journey from Mormon to Baha'i to Daheshist.

Doctor Dahesh ("day-hesh") was the miracle-working Prophet of Lebanon. His name is quite well-known in Lebanon, where He is seen as the greatest magician of all time, or a Prophet of Satan, or a Prophet of God; depending upon whom you ask. He was the most prolific worker of supernatural miracles of all time. He raised the dead, gave sight to the blind, gave hearing to the deaf, caused the lame to walk, cured lepers instantly, caused inanimate things to become animated, made dozens of prophecies that came true, etc. He died in 1984, in New York City. Daheshists believe that Doctor Dahesh was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

Daheshism is not an organized religion. So, Daheshists in North America who want organized worship do so in UNITY churches. UNITY does not endorse Dr. Dahesh nor Daheshism, but have invited Daheshists to worship in UNITY churches; since UNITY churches allow people who believe in reincarnation. This is why I title my spiritual journal "From Mormonism to the Baha'i Faith to UNITY"; because UNITY has invited Daheshists to worship with them, and we have accepted the invitation.

Some Daheshists believe that God inspired Charles Fillmore, the co-founder of UNITY, to "prepare the way" for Doctor Dahesh. In 1912, Charles Fillmore wrote:

"Something is happening. All along the line is evidence of the birth of the Prince of Peace." (Talks on Truth 11:4)

Doctor Dahesh was born on June 1st, 1912, in Jerusalem. His birth name was Saleem Ameer Moosa El-Achi ("Prince of Peace Moses The Brother"). In 1929, at the age of 17, He became known as "Dahesh" after He was called this by a group of Assyrians who witnessed one of His miracles. In Assyrian "Dahesh" means "Wonderful". Later, He became known as "Duktur Dahesh" which in Assyrian means "Wonderful Counselor". But He had no degrees of any kind. He was not a physician, but He healed thousands. In 1943 He founded "Daheshism" which He called "The Unity of Religions". He lived most of His adult life in Beirut, Lebanon, but spent the last 19 years of His life in New York City. He died in that city in 1984.

I never knew Doctor Dahesh but I think I once met him. In 1983 I was preparing for a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (i.e. "The Mormon Church"). I was fasting and praying, trying to prepare myself spiritually for the event where young men (and women) spend two years of their lives, full-time, knocking on doors and trying to make converts for the Mormon Church. At that time, I ha read a lot of Anti-Mormon literature, which confused me horribly. I prayed earnestly to know of the Second Coming of Christ on numerous occasions. One night, while fasting and praying, I feel asleep. In my dream I left my body and began to fly over my city and then toward the Moon. Suddenly I was jerked away and started to "fall" toward the Sun, which caused me to become quite fearful of it. Finally, I feel into the Sun and seemed to be on the inside of it. Instead of more flames and fire I entered into a new sky, which was blue. I could see several other suns circling one central sun. I approache the central sun, which was white and did not scare me. As I approached the central sun a being of light suddenly appeared before me. His hair was shining white as was his robe. His eyes were glowing. He appeared about twenty years old, no beard, and had a conservative haircut. In the dream I asked this being "When will Jesus return to the Earth?" and the being opened his mouth and it seemed like the voices of a thousand choirs came out. Strange words came out, but in my mind I heard "He is in New York City". I said, "I don't understand you!" but just as I was saying that I heard in my head again, "He is in New York City!" He opened his mouth again and I found myself back in my room, awake, in a cold sweat. I said to myself, "Wow! That is the strangest dream I've ever had!" I remember saying to myself for the next few years "What an absurd dream! Jesus in New York City? Absurd!" But, I had to admit, the dream was very vivid.

I serve a mission for the Church to San Jose and San Francisco California. I knocked on many hundreds of doors, talks to many hundreds of people. I tried to get them to read The Book of Mormon. Looking back, I realize that the missionaries were given a year to read a book Mark Twain called "Chloroform in print" (i.e. it puts you right to sleep). But we as missionaries were told to tell our "investigators" (those whom we were trying to convert) to read The Book of Mormon in a few days, or a few weeks at most. Never worked. Most missionaries would tell investigators to read a few chapters then pray about it. All the missionaries knew that nobody would read the book from cover to cover in a few days or even weeks. It was like asking someone out-of-shape to run a marathon. The Mormons of California did not impress me much. They believed the Gospel was about getting gain; more money, a better car, job promotions, "success" in life. I didn't see the Gospel that way. I believed the Gospel was about helping others, being honest, being moral. By the end of my mission my heart was no longer into it. The Mormons I knew were very materialistic. I began to wonder why I had gone on a mission in the first place.

I joined the Church myself in 1978, based upon glowing articles about Mormons I had read in Reader's Digest. I was impressed with the articles which portrayed Mormons as very honest and moral and selfless. I admired that. I only learned many years later that these articles were actually cleverly disguised advertisements paid for by the Church itself and written by employees in the Church's Public Affairs Department. Looking back 30 years, I would have to say that about 10 per cent of Mormons are self-less and moral and honest. The rest clearly are not; to one degree or another.

In 1981 I was sitting in a foyer of a Mormon church meetinghouse when I notice a "Church News" periodical. On the front page was a photo of a man named Mark Hofmann presenting an old Mormon document he found in an old Bible to Mormon leaders.



Mark Hofmann showing his first forgery to Mormon Church leaders in April of 1980. Gordon B. Hinckley on far right pointing at open Bible. Church leaders accept the find as genuine (photo from the Church News (May, 1980)
Immediately I heard an audible Voice which said, "He is a liar and an atheist". I was startled and looked around just to see I was alone. Mark Hofmann was an active Mormon in Utah who claimed to have "discovered" many old Mormon documents. These documents he sold to the Mormon Church or to other Mormon history enthusiasts. Over the next four years he would discover hundreds of such documents. By 1982 I had decided that Hofmann was getting "too lucky" finding all these old documents. So, I started to write to Church leaders, telling them about the "Voice" I heard in 1981 and telling them that I believed Hofmann was forging the documents. I got no reply. So, I started making telephone calls. Basically, I was told I was a "conspiracy nut" and that I "needed to get professional help" for the voices I was hearing. I replied that I heard the voice only one time. Anyway, to make a long story short, my bishop called me in and said, "Salt Lake doesn't want you calling or writing again, and if you do I'll have to hold a Church Court on you!" I told the Bishop about the Voice, and he said the Voice was of Satan and that the Brethren (Church leaders) had the "Spirit of Discernment" and that "nobody could lie to them" because they would immediately be detected. Since Church leaders had not detected Hofmann as a liar, it meant Hofmann could not be a liar. At that time I believed what my Church superiors told me, so I let the whole thing drop.



"The Brethren": The First Presidency (left) and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (right). These 15 men are called "prophets/seers/revelators" of the Mormon Church. Mormons are taught from birth these men have 'the Spirit of Discernment' whereby they know the intends of the hearts of all who appear before them. To try to 'fool' them is like trying to fool God Himself.
By 1983 I let the entire Mark Hofmann affair drop. I was told that the Brethren could "not" be deceived, and I believed was I was told. By June of 1983 I was called to serve a full-time mission to San Jose and San Francisco California. It was in May of 1983, while preparing for my mission in Puyallup, Washington, that I had the "dream".

During my mission in San Jose, there was an Anti-Mormon film being shown around called "The God Makers". Much of it was true, but it also contained some lies and distortions. Part of the film said that Mormon missionaries were trained to lie, trained to "pretend" to be Christians, to "pretend" to worship Jesus but secretly worship Joseph Smith as their Lord and Savior. The film lied about that, but the Evangelicals who saw the film believe it was true. This angered most of them. Evangelicals slammed the door on our faces. Some cursed at us. Others threatened us with Hell and/or death. Some spit upon us. A few tried to run our bikes off the road. A few of the missionaries were beaten, and just about all of us were threatened. When we were threatened or spat upon I would say: "Did not Jesus say do unto others as ye would have them do unto you?" and the Christian who threatened or spat on us (usually large men) would get even more angry and scream: "DON'T QUOTE THE Bible TO ME!! The Golden Rule only applies to brother Christians, and YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIANS!!!" That Anti-Mormon film was shown to 12 million people worldwide, and books by the same title sold over a million copies.

I returned home in 1985 a "torn" person. On one hand, I got to know the Mormons in California. They were very materialistic and superstitious. I knew the difference between spirituality and superstition, and the Mormons I knew were almost always superstitious but not spiritual at all. Yet, on the other hand, I was so shocked by the behavior of so many Evangelicals toward us, that I wanted to write a book answering the claims of "The God Makers" book an film. I wanted to expose the lies and distortions in that book and film. So, I sat down for a month and wrote "The Gainsayers"; which was an answer to "The God Makers" book and film. The book was actually not published until 1989.

On October 15th, 1985, two bombs exploded in Salt Lake City. One killed Steve Christensen, a Mormon bishop. The second killed Kathy Sheets, a Mormon housewife. The next day, a bomb seriously injured Mark Hofmann, the man I had tried to tell Church leaders about in 1981. Police immediately suspected Hofmann was the bomber, and had dropped his third bomb. Police told Church President Gordon B. Hinckley that Hofmann was the bomber. To this Hinckley replied, "You're got the wrong man! Brother Hofmann is innocent!" After several months of police investigation, Salt Lake police arrested Hofmann for double homicide as well as hundreds of "theft by deception" because they proved he forged the documents he sold to the Mormon Church and to other collectors. To avoid the Utah fireing squad Hofmann pleaded guilty to all charges and received 15 to life with possibility of parole. He is still in the Utah State Prison. I called up a few of the Mormons at Church Offices, the ones who called me a "nut" when I told them in 1981-82 that Hofmann was a liar and atheist and forging documents. All but one hung up the phone on me. One did not but said, "But Brother Hofmann was a good Member of the Church!" Hofmann confessed that he had been an atheist since he was 13; because he was told he could not believe in Mormonism and evolution at the same time. So, he chose evolution. Yet, he continued to pretend to be a good Mormon, even going on a mission to England when he was 19. He decided he wanted to "prove" Mormonism false, by forging documents to make Joseph Smith look bad and then selling the negative documents secretly to Church leaders whom he knew would hide the documents, then leaking the documents to the Media. This he did, and made over 1 million dollars from it. He was indeed a liar and a atheist.

I was very upset by the Mark Hofmann episode. I was told a hundred times that "The Brethren CANNOT be fooled!" Yet, Hofmann fooled them, hundreds of times, over a five year period. I began to have serious doubts about the divine inspiration of Church leadership. That began me to question other things like Mormon history and doctrine. I began to discover lots of discrepencies and contradictions. Too many. I began to lose my faith in the Church. My Church attendance became sporatic. I was slipping away. My single Mormon friends were going to Church on Sunday morning but having sex on Saturday night. They saw no contradiction. They would say, "Darrick, you'd do the same thing we do if you could, but you can't. You're just jealous!" I said, "How do you think you'll become a God when you break your Temple Covenants?" They'd just laugh and wag their heads and walk away. All of them married attractive women in a Mormon Temple, except for me. The women did not like me (I was poor) but they chased my immoral friends. The Church teaches that one must be "morally worthy" in order to attract a Mormom womman, because Mormon women would not even 'date' an "unworthy man' much less marry one. I found this to be false--like so many things in Mormonism.

In 1987 I became the roommate with a man who was divorced from a "Miss Utah". He was recently divorced and very distraught. We spent many hours in very long discussions, andd I feel I helped him overcome his depression. He had been a Mormon all his life and was a gradulate of Brigham Young University. I decided I would try to give the Church another chance. Over the next two years my roommate (in his mid thirties) would seduce dozens of young Mormon women and girls. At the same time, he had a live in underage girlfriend who he slept with every night. He was a hypocrite and a womanizer. The Mormon women girls and women loved him, and he received many proposals. He rejected them all. He considered himself far too superior to them. Most of these Mormon women and girls gave him sex. Sex outside of marriage is considered akin to murder in the Mormon Church, but, from my observations of many years, I would have to say that 90% of single Mormons have sex outside of marriage, and think they are perfectly righteous. They don't see any contradiction at all. Only about 10 per cent of active Mormons really try to live that religion in their private as well as their public lives. Perhaps this is true with all religions, I don't know. It is certainly true for Mormons. ;Mormon leaders teach that the goal of every Mormon, to become a God, is predicated upon "worthiness" (righteousness) which includes being "morally clean". Yet, again, ninty per cent of the single Mormons I knew didn't pay any attention to this; believing that if they were "morally clean" in public it didn't matter what they did in private.

Basically, dozens of single Mormon women chased my roommate, fell in love, and proposed marriage--giving him sex on the side. My roommate did not respect them, but accepted their sex. He considered himself far superior to them. He considered himself moral and they immoral, because they offered him sex and he accepted it. He waited for a beautiful model like his ex-wife had been. All these other girls were attractive, but "below" his level. All else were just "playthings" to give him pleasure. These Mormon women and girls were deeply in love with him. Some wrote poems for him. All expressed their love for him. He would mock them and laugh at them and call them "fools" and "whores" behind their back, to me, when they were not around. I would say, "Why are you doing this to them?" and he would respond "Look, I'm not forcing them! They're having sex with me! I'm not having sex with them!" I said, "But they think you love them, you are deceiving them! Why are you treating them so bad!" At that he clinched his fist in anger and screamed "BECAUSE MY WIFE DIVORCED ME!" He was punishing them for what his ex-wife had done to them. Over the decades many Mormon women could punish me for what their ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands had done to them. The first lesson of the Gospel of Jesus Christ was "Do unto others as ye would have them do unto you!" I discovered that most Mormons have not apparely learned this lesson yet.

Eventually, these single Mormon women and girls started to compare notes and discover the truth about my roommate. I tried to tell the Bishop (pastor) of the Ward (congregation) we were in attending, but he said "I find that hard to believe" and then chided me on how bad I was dressed. He told me that my roommate was popular with girls because he was "living the Gospel" and was I not popular because "I was not living the Gospel". In other words, my roommate was "worthy" morally and I was not. I was just saying this because I was jealous and living a secretly sinful life. This is what the Bishop told me. I was shocked. The Mormon church teaches that its Bishops have the "Spirit of Discernment" meaning they can tell who is lying to them and who is not. Well, this bishop called me a liar and believed my roommate. He "judged" me sinful and my roommate "worthy". Well, that was enough for me, so I moved in back with my parents who lived in another city. I discovered that most Mormons believe that if you are "living the Gospel" (i.e. living a moral life active in the Church) then God "blesses" you, and for Mormon men the greating "blessing" of God is an attractive woman to have sex with. Even though the Church teaches that all sex outside of marriage was sinful, akin to murder, most single Mormon men (at least the ones I knew) completely ignored this. I discovered that in Mormonism there are "The Rules" and "The Unspoken Rules". The Rules were you had no sex of anyh kind outside of heterosexual marriage. The "Unspoken Rules" were that everybody had sex before marriage, and everbody knew everybody did, and you simply did not "speak" about it. The sin was speaking about sex, not actually having the sex. Most Mormons I knew ignored "The Rules" but kept "The Unspoken Rules".

Five months after I left the Ward (congretation) a new Bishop took over the Ward (congregation), a good man. He heard from the girls what my roommate was doing, and the girls would say, "Oh Bishop, I have a friend who had sex with this guy in the Ward, and the guy is having sex with other girls!" And the new bishop would say, "What is the name of your friend?" and the girls would say, "Oh, well, she made me promise not to say so I cannot tell you, but she is real upset that this guy deceived him and cheated on her!" So, the new Bishop eventually discovered that I had been a roommate to this man, and he got my number and called me one day ans asked me to name the girls who had had sex with my ex-roommate. I told him that I believed it was none of my business, and that if the girls wanted to confess it was up to them. He told me he could do nothing about my roommate unless I told him what girls had given him sex. So, I raddled off a number of names of girls that my ex-roommate said he had done sexual things with. The new bishop then began to call "Church Courts" on those girls who had given my roommate sex (mostly oral-- since most Mormon girls want to remain virgins until they marry in the Temple). He asked my roommate if he was having sex with girls and my ex-roommate said "They're all liars!" The bishop then showed him the door and told him to leave tne never come back. Well, this new bishop, the good man who was acting according to Church rules, was suddenly "released" (fired) and the old bishop, the one who called me a liar, came back and cancelled all Church Courts and covered up the entire scandal. When others asked, "Did you tell him [the old bishop] what so-and-so was doing with these girls?" I said "Yes, several times!" but the old Bishop said, "Oh, he is a liar! He never told me anything of the kind!" The old bishop deliberately lied. He cancelled all Church Courts and told members of the Ward to stop discussing the matter. He covered it all up. He was soon promoted to a higher Church position called the "Stake Presidency". Several of the girls my ex-roommate had sex with were the daughters of very important families in the Church, and the local Church leaders were determined to cover it all up. The good bishop was fired and the old bishop who called me a liar and covered-up the scandal was promoted!

I would discover years later that the Church commonly covered up embarassing things in Mormon history, and commonly covered-up for blood relatives and the sons of wealthy Church members who got young girls pregnant. It was common. I could write a thick book just about the Mormon Church cover-ups I personally know about. Maybe one day I will. I realized on my mission that I had some sort of ability, some "sensitivity". I remember when my missionary companion and I had met a very large Native American man. He was about six feet seven and about 350 pounds. He was very cordial towards us. After we said goodbye to him I said to my companion, "That man is a murderer!" and, sure enough, we later learned he had been charged with murder. Then there was a time on my mission that I had a dream in which a young woman was holding a baby and a wave came by with a large log on top of it and it hit the woman and the next scene in my dream the young woman was in a casket and they placed the baby in the casket and there was a lot of craying and they closed the casket. Then, the very next day, we met a family still in mourning for their son's wife and their child. They told me they had a family outing at Ocean Shores, in Washington State, and a wave came by with a large log on it and struck the son's wife and the child and both were killed, and they buried the child with the mother. Another time I was riding along a street in San Jose, California, on my mission, and my ten-speed hit a rock in the street and my bike reared like a stallion and threw me off and laid me on the asfault, and as I was getting up a car came right at me and before I could even think, passed through me (or rather I passed through it). I can still remember seeing the face of the girl in the backseat as I passed by her face only a few feet. She had long brown hair and large eyes. I was in shock for hours after this. I did not tell anyone about it, not even my companion, who said, "How did that car miss you?" I said, "I don't know." I figured nobody would believe me so I never told anyone until now. It is hard for me to believe it myself, but yet it happened.

Later, after returning home to Washington State, I took a job as a driving instructor in Olympia, Washington. I remember teaching one girl and I would have "flashes" of a man having his face caved in by another man wielding a heavy pipe, and I could see the blood and bone and teeth fly everyone, and one eye of the man popped out. I would "shake off" the image and wonder why I was thinking such hideous thoughts. I only had these thoughts when this particular girl was in the car. I had another "flash" and I turned to her and said, "Tell me what the most horrible thing you have ever seen?" And she said, "Gosh! Well, one day my friend and I was walking in downtown Olympia next to a bar, and these two guys were arguing, and one guy said 'Where's my money?' and he took this leap pipe and began to beat the other guy, and crushed his face in, and my and my friend screamed and ran away!" I knew then, without a doubt, that I was having "psychic flashes". Several months before 11 September 2001, I had woken up by myself saying loadly "Planes shall crash into buildings!" My own voice woke me. I remember in dreams seeking a map of the United States, and planes, like cartoon characters, flying into sky-scrapers. But I don't remember anything specific about New York City, nor do I remember seeing any dates in my dreams. Perhaps I did, but I don't remember any. On the morning of 9-11 I remember dreaming I was speaking to a blond man who was arguing with me, in an office, and we looked and saw a jet come in and the blond man melted into the floor, and the floor became covered with ash, and I clearned the ash away and found only his skull. The skull frightened me so I woke up immediately. Then abit later I heard my Dad telling a neighbor, "Thousands, not hundreds!" I knew something bad had happened, and then I turned on the t.v. and found out what had happened just an hour before.

After I returned home from my mission in February of 1985, I wrote a book in defense of the Church called "The Gainsayers". But that book was not published until 1989. From 1985 to 1990 I tried to remain active in the Church, but I found it more and more difficult. The Mormons in California did not impress me as a "spiritual" people. I found them to be, with few exceptions, to be very materialistic. They reminded me of the pagans in India, who worship rat gods, or monkey gods, or an elephant-headed god named "Ganesh". In other words, if you feet the rats or monkeys or give flowers to Ganesh, then these gods send you "blessings"; such as health, wealth, attractive spouse, healthy children, and protection in travel. Most Mormons were the same way. For them, the Gospel of Jesus Christ was about "getting blessings" (i.e. material things) from God. You do such-and-such for God, and God will do such-and-such for you. I just didn't believe the Gospel was about that. For me, the Gospel of Jesus Christ was about building treasures in heaven, not upon earth.

As I wrote before, in October 15th two bombs exploded in Salt Lake City. One more bomb the next day. Mark Hofmann later confessed to murder and forgery and being an atheist. I suddenly releaved that the Spirit had told me things that He had not told the top Mormon leaders! Why was the Spirit revealing things to "me" and not to the men whom I believed were Prophets of God? This troubled me for years. Why couldn't Mormon leaders "discern" Mark Hofmann? Then, in 1987, I met my future roommate who seduced dozens of young single Mormon women and girls. Then came the cover-up by local Church leaders. All this depressed me horribly. I became more and more depressed. Within this period two prominent Church leaders, Elder Paul Dunn, and Elder George P. Lee, were "deposed". Elder Paul Dunn was exposed as lying about his baseball and military career. He was a popular Mormon speaker who sold hundreds of thousands of books and cassette tapes on his baseball and war stories; inspiring an entire generation of Mormon youth and young adults. I remember buying one of his cassette tapes in Mesa, Arizona, in 1985 and listening to it as I drove to Los Angeles. I got the sense he was lying, so, when I stopped for gas in Blythe, California, I through his tape in the trash. Years later, a Brigham Young Unversity professor, who had heard several of Dunn's tapes and noticed discrepancies, started to investigate further. This professor discovered that Elder Paul Dunn had never played major league baseball as he claimed, and was not a war hero. Dunn had played on several minor league teams for a few weeks, was cut from both, and in the war was in a supply unit in the rear and never in action during the war. This professor, named Lynn Packer, went to his superiors at BYU and they said, "Don't publish it!" He informed Church leaders and they said, "We will handle it, don't publish your material". So, Lynn Packer waited about three years, and Elder Dunn was still a Church leader and still giving talks and still selling books and tapes, and so Packer published his findings in a liberal Mormon magazine, and was then Brigham Young University told him they were not renewing his teaching contract. Elder Dunn was sooned released for "health reasons".

Soon afterwards a Church leader named Elder George P. Lee, a Navajo, was arrested for molesting young girls, and in the trail he confessed to have molested young girl for at least 12 years. Yet, all during this time the "Prophets" of the Church never suspected him. Again, where was their "Spirit of Discernment"? They never knew Elder Paul Dunn was lying. They never suspected Elder George P. Lee. These "Men of God" never suspected Mark Hofmann either? Where was the "Spirit of Discernment" as they claimed to have? I was discovering more and more things about the Church that just didn't add up! For example, when I joined the Mormon Church in 1978 I was told that from the time of Joseph Smith until June of 1978 blacks men could not hold the priesthood, and black Mormons were "banned" from all Mormon Temples, because they were "less valiant" in the War in Heaven and as punishment they were born into the lineage of Cain, and that Cain was a white man until God went "poof" and changed him into the first Negro. And that Ham, son of Noah, married a Negro woman; which is why we have Negroes today. And that all Negroes are the "cursed children of Cain" and could not get the priesthood until the Curse of Cain was removed, and it was removed on June 8th, 1978. Well, I got depressed! I told my Mormon leaders, "I don't want to believe in this Curse of Cain Doctrine because I think it is racist!" And they laughed and wagged their heads and said, "Oh! You must accept it, because Prophets of God taught it, and they know God's Mind far more than we do!" Anyway, I was in great depression for months, but finally said, "Ok, I accept it! Who am I go against what Prophets of God have said!" And I felt great relief. This was back in 1979.

However, by the early 1990s, the Church leaders had decided secretly that the Curse of Cain Doctrine was "a mistake" but they could not tell rank-and-file Mormons this, or the rank-and-file Mormons would say, "Hey, if Church leaders made a mistake for 130 years, what mistakes are they making now?" So, instead of publicly saying "The Curse of Cain Doctrine was a mistake!" instead Mormon leaders are instructing their spokesmen in the LDS Public Affairs Department to say: "Oh! The Church has NEVER taugh that black people are cursed by God or were EVER cursed by God! The Church never taught that!"

That's right! The Mormon Church is now deceptively trying to COVER-UP its past racist doctrines!

About 1989 I discovered that the Mormon Church was trying to re-write its history; leaving out Joseph Smit's polygamy, leaving out many of Brigham Young's doctrines, and now trying to cover-up the Curse of Cain legacy. I knew that lies were not of God. Yet, the Church was lying, through its teeth, every single day. I became depressed again. Very depressed.

I went through the process of Denial, Avoidance, Anger, Depression, and was stil in the Depression stage at this time! I discovered that Joseph Smith had had sex with up to 33 women not his wife, then denying publicly he was a polygamist. He had "married" his own foster daughters, ages 14 and 16. One day I would believe he was a false prophet, and the next I would believe he was a false prophet, and this would go back and forth over and over again. I was truly in "hell" emotionally.

By 1989 I was not going to Church on Sunday. It made me physically ill to go. So, I stopped going. I stopped calling myself "Mormon". I called myself a "Seeker of Truth". At one time I called myself an "Independent Christian" and even ghost-wrote a few books for a few other Christians. But, I could never bring myself to believe in the following Evangelical doctrines:

*We are "saved" forever by simply uttering the Sinner's Prayer and believing in our heart that Jesus is LORD, then no matter what we do we are still saved.

*"Heaven" was an eternal choir of genderless angels that sing songs of praise while facing a Dead Lamb on a Throne, while looking at the Damned burning in Hell for all eternity.

*"Hell" was literal fire and literal people screaming for all eternity because they were not Evangelical Christians.

*"Adam and Eve" were the first humans on Earth, white anglo-saxon looking people who lived 6,000 years ago.

*"The Flood of Noah" covered the entire planet, topping Mount Everest, and the all races come from the three sons of Noah and their wives, and the dinosaurs perished because Noah couldn't fit them on the Ark.

*"The Bible" (i.e. the Protestant Bible) alone is God's infallible Word, and everything outside of the Bible is inspried of the Devil.

I just couldn't "buy" these doctrines! I would ask Christian questions such as, "Well, if Jesus saves me with the Sinner's Prayer, then why do I need to go to Church on Sunday and pay a minister to teach me what the Bible says when I can read just fine? And why do I need to go to Church and pay somebody to preach to me if I'm already saved and can't be UNsaved?" And the Christians would look and say, "Well, if you were REALLY a Christian, you'd do these things and not question it!" The Christians began to sound like the Mormons: just obey your leaders and do what they tell you to do, don't question them, and all will be well!

I always admired the Salvation Army. At one time I considered becoming an "Officer" (minister) in the Salvation Army but they told me I was too old. So, I wrote to their Commanding General, and then they removed the age restriction. However, I would go to Salvation Army services and there was a lot of banging on drums and trumpets and shouting. I was always senstive to lights and load noices. Also, one requirement is that one couldn't be in debt and become a Salvation Officer. Also, the Salvation Army believed in an etenral unending Hell-fire for all those who were not "Christian". I hated the drums and load shouting at Church. I was in debt and would be for years. I could not accept the doctrine of eternal hell-fire for all those not Christian. So, I decided I could not join the Salvation Army; although I still admire them for "living the Gospel" by helping the poor and rejectes of society, instead of just hearing it preached by some pastor on Sunday.

In 1994 I decided to become a Baha'i. The Baha'is believe that most Prophets were true Prophets of God, and they believe in many good principles which they call "The 12 Principles". Also, some Baha'is believe that Joseph Smith prophesied of Baha'u''llah. Well, I knew I could not call myself a "Christian" because I simply could not accept what all the Christian churches were teaching. I saw that the Baha'is did not spend their time condemning others, nor did they pay some man a lot of money to "preach" to them and entertain them on Sunday mornings. Rather, Baha'is spent their time "living the Gospel" by doing good works, or trying to. So, I became a Baha'i. After two years I was told that a Baha'i law made it mandatory to officially resign from all other religious groups. So, I went to a local Bishop (I was living in Mesa Arizona at this time) and told him I wanted my name removed from the records of the Church because I had become a Baha'i. He told me to "repent" of the secret sins I was committing (Mormons believe that if you leave the Church it is because you are an adulterer or because you can't keep the Mormon commandments). Not wishing to argue with him (I discovered over the years that arguing with ignorant men was a waste of time), I kindly gave him my Letter of Resignation and he finally accepted it and processed it. In July of 1996, my name was removed from the membership records of the Church.

Unfortunately, my time in the Baha'i Faith was not to last. There too, I found too many contradictions. While I found the Baha'is themselves to be very altruistic people, some of the doctrines did not sit well with me. For example:

*Baha'is do not believe that Jesus arose from the dead, but He died was buried and that was the end of Him. Only His "teachings" were raised from the dead after three days.. In other words, His disciples were "agitated" and did not preach His Gospel for three days, then afterwards Mary Magdalene said "Jesus is dead but His spirit is alive!" and they all realized this then took courage and began to promulgate His Teachings again, but His body was never raised. The Gospel accounts of His appearing to His disciples after His death are "parable" (fiction) and never really happened.

*Shoghi Effendi (1897-1957), the Guardian of the Baha'i Faith and grandson of Baha'u'llah, whom Baha'is consider "infallible", wrote that abortion was "absolutely forbidden in the Cause". Yet, a few decades after he died, the new Governing Body of the Faith declared that while "abortion was absolutely forbidden" in the Faith, it was "up to the woman and her physician [i.e. the abortionist]" to make that final decision. In other words, abortion was "absolutely forbidden" which means "absolutely permitted" in the Faith. Again, this was a violation of the Law of Contradiction: if something contradicts itself, that thing cannot be true! If I could live with the Law of Contradiction, then I'd still be a Mormon.

Most Mormons had no problem with the Law of Contradiction. They would believe the sex outside of marriage was wrong, at the very same time they were having sex outside of marriage. They could sincerely believe that the Golden Rule applies to all, while at the same time not living the Golden Rule anytime they didn't want to. Again, most people have no problem with "contradictions". Seekers of Truth can't tolderate them. Most people are "sheep". They follow the religion they were born into. Some people are "shoppers"; they shop around for a religion that suits their fancies. Many people are "sleepers"; they are asleep to God and thoughts of the Afterlife until moments before their deaths. Only about 1 in 1000 people are Seekers of Truth.

I knew I could not accept the "Dead Jesus" of the Baha'is; nor their contradiction statements regarding abortion. So, in 1998, I resigned from the Baha'i Faith. Once again, I became a "Seeker of Truth".

All during the time I was a "Seeker of Truth" there was a belief I had that "Christ" was somewhere on Earth, and I would recognzie Him because He would be the only man on Earth who had the ability to work supernatural miracles. I thought I had discovered this in Baha'u'llah, founder of the Baha'i Faith, but I discovered he worked no miracles. I then discovered a man named Sai Baba, who had millions of followers in India, but the more I checked it appeared that his "miracles" were slight-of-hand tricks. He would pull gold watches or "sacred ash" from his long sleeves during his speeches, like many fake gurus did in India in order get money from their followers. He molested men and boys, later saying he needed their semen in order to perform sacred ceremonies.

I also once consider Meher Baba (1897-1969), the "Silent Prophet" of India who claimed to be Christ. If asked if he could do supernatural miracles he replied, "Yes, I can do all things, for I have all power, but I simply choose not to do any." Again, I went away in frustration. I knew that "Christ" had been on Earth in 1983, and that He had performed miracles. Don't ask me how I "knew" this. I just did. All I had to do was "find" him. I moved on again.

I continued to search, year after year, for a man who worked supernatural miracles, who was alive today or at least was alive in 1983. It seemed to me that I would not be able to find him. Then, in 2005, I was at a public library in Tacoma, Washington. I was waiting my turn to get on the Internet, and I was reading a book titled "Encyclopedia of American Religions" by J. Gordon Meldon. I came across "Dahesh Heritage" and began to read. I began to read about Doctor Dahesh, and His miracles, and that His disciples believed He was a reincarnation of Jesus. I read that He spent the last 19 years of His life in New York City, where He died in 1984. Doctor Dahesh had been alive, and living in New York City, in 1983! I remembered my dream in 1983 which the being of light told me "He is in New York City!" I was floored! My brain began to feel like it was swimming in my head. I became overjoyed and leaped out of my chair and shouted "Hallelujah!" I'm sure the people in the library thought I was insane. I didn't care. I got the address of "Dahesh Heritage" and wrote to the Daheshists there, and they sent me a booklet.

Still, I was not satisfied. I had joined two religions only to leave them. I didn't want to be disappointed again. So, I started to pray that Dahesh would appear to me as Jesus appeared to the doubting Thomas. I prayed to God, and I also prayed to Doctor Dahesh. Surely, this Man of Miracles had to power to appear to me! I prayed and prayed, and nothing happened. After about a week I stopped. I had been into two organized religions already, and did not want to go into another (even though Daheshism was not yet organized). I was too tired. Too worn out with "religious" people. So, I asked over and over again that Dahesh would appear to me, in the flesh, as Jesus had appeared to the doubting Thomas. Then I would believe, but not before. I had been "fooled" too many times before. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

One afternoon, about two weeks after I quite asking for a sign, I was lying on my bed reading. It was in the afternoon, about 2pm, during a thunder and lightning storm (very rare for Tacoma Washington). Suddenly I heard heavy boots on my roof, like a heavy man walking in heavy boots. I thought him very foolish to try to be fixing something in a lightning storm. I lived in a duplex, so I thought the woman who lived next to me had some heavy man working the roof. I thought about telling him to get down before has electricuted, but I didn Old Testament hear him walking anymore. I did not hear him get off my roof either. Then, I heard somebody walk into my front door. Only my father or mother enters without knocking. I knew it was not them, because I heard very heavy boots walking across my living room. My mother weighted 120 pounds and my father weighed about 160. The boots were getting closer, now walking down my hallway. "An intruder!" I thought. I thought about getting up and holding my door shut, but there was no time left. So, I rolled over to the wall and pretended I was sleeping. That way, the burgler may not bother me and he would leave. My door opened, the I heard the boots walk in. The man, whom I believed must have been 400 pounds, sat on the corner of my bed, causing it to sag considerably, and causing me almost to turn over. I was scared beyond my whits. I thought about kicking him fearcely then running out, but I was too scared to move. So, I pretended to be asleep, hoping and praying he would leave. I kept that position for what seemed like an hour or more, but was probably much less time than that.

Finally, I decided to "peek". So, I yawned and peeked over. Had I saw anyone I would had kicked him. I saw nothing. I quickly rolled back over and saw nobody. I was relieved beyond words! The intruder was gone. But, just then, I looked and noticed that the corner of my bed was still sagging down about a foot! Just when I realized this, the corner of my bed slowly lifted up to its original position, and I heard the boots walk across my room, slowly open my bedroom door, and walk out. I suddenly got extremely dizzy, and, I believe, almost fainted. The door gently closed, the boots went down my hallway, across my living room, out my door. I felt completely dazed. I have never taken illegal drugs. I was on absolutely no medication. I had not touched a drop of alcohol since the two times I got drunk at the age of 14 (and threw up each time). I had no head injuries. I did not commonly see hallucinations. I was not sleepy. My room was quite light with sunlight, for it was in the afternoon. The sky was cloudy but it was quite light in my room. I was wide awake, and not dreaming.

The invisible entity said nothing to me; just sat on the corner of my bed for what seemed an eternity; which was probably no more than twenty minutes. I believe this was Doctor Dahesh, in answer to my prayers and supplications that He appear to me. I could not explain why He did not appear physically to me, until years later when I read on the website of another Daheshist a letter by Dahesh, written just before His death, when He said that He would not appear "in the flesh" to His disciples after His death, but His "spirit" would remain to guide them. The letter was in Arabic, but the Daheshist had translated it into English. If this powerful being was not Dahesh, who could it be? It had to be Him.

After that day, I realized that I did not have to have "faith" in Doctor Dahesh. Because "faith" was the hope of things you don't have proof of. I had "faith" in Mormonism, only to be terribly devastated. I had "faith" in the Baha'i Faith, again, only to lose faith in it. I could not have "faith" in any more religions! I said that to God. I needed "proof". And God sent me "proof". I have no "faith" that Doctor Dahesh is a Prophet of God. I have "proof". When Jesus was on Earth 2,000 years ago He did not say "Have faith in me!" nor did He said "Pray about what I've said and ask God if it is true and if you get a burning in your bosom then you will know it is true!" He didn't say that either. Jesus offered as "proof" that He was the Son of God, His own supernatural miracles: 19 And John calling unto them two of his disciples sent them to Jesus saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?
20 When the men were come unto him, they said, John Baptist hath sent us unto thee saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?
21 And in that same hour he [Jesus] cured many of their infermities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many that were blind he gave sight.
22 Then Jesus answering said unto them, Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. (Luke chapter 7)

I have spoken to people who are alive today, who have told me they saw Dahesh perform supernatural miracles that no magician could perform. They saw people cured instantly of infirmitites and plagues, and they saw Him cast out evil spirits, and they saw those blind given sight, they saw the lame walk, they saw the lepers healed, the saw deaf hearing, the saw the dead raised. And I "saw" with my own eyes what I wrote above, as God is my Witness! What further proof was needed? My "dream" in 1983 was more than a dream. Jesus Christ was alive and well and living in New York City in 1983. How I wish now I would have cancelled my Mormon mission and taken a bus to New York City instead to try to find Him while He was still alive and living in New York City! That is the biggest regret of my life. Yet, I had finally found the Truth. My twenty-five year quest for Truth was finally over.

Please read THE BOOK OF TESTIMONIES: Eyewitness Accounts of the Miracles of Doctor Dahesh at "Prophet of Lebanon" online at:


http://daheshism.webs.com