What is the funniest thing you have heard in a testimony...?

[_PrickKicker]

I have heard...

I got home from shopping and was so tired I sat down and began to read my scriptures several hours passed and I realized that I had brought ice cream when I checked its consistency it was still frozen! I know that because I read my scriptures God had preserved the ice cream.

I really wanted a rocking chair for my baby room so I could feed my baby in the night without waking my husband, we had no savings and would never be able to afford one, so I prayed to God and asked for a miracle, the next month I got a tax rebate for the previous year that I had over paid, and I cried because knew God had heard and answered my prayers.

I know Jesus is lives because my daughter sees him, when I bought a new bed for my daughter to replace her junior bed, she said thank you Daddy, Now Jesus feet wont hang of the end.

I met a friend of mine in an airport in a different state to the one we lived, when I spoke to him, he said that he was no longer going to church he bought me an ipad, and I knew that was an act of God for us to meet there, and for me to talk to him about the church, he still doesn't attend though.

I love making love to my wife! she is so beautiful and I am so glad we are married for eternity.

I am grateful for my membership in the church, My life is so wonderful because of it, my brother who is not a member wastes his life at parties and messing round with girls and just trying to have fun.

[_SteelHead]

UFOs, aliens and cattle mutilation, and how it all fits into the plan of salvation.

[_Drifting]

How the brown bread that we served for Sacrament was against God's wishes as it could be harmful and so some members couldn't partake of it.

Also (and I debated adding this one for decency reasons)

A woman bore her testimony of God working a miracle in saving a seriously ill member of the ward. The Bishop immediately stood up and whispered in her ear that, in fact, the member had died the previous week (she hadn't heard apparantly). Without missing a beat she then bore testimony of God being caring enough to take this poor sick member back to live with Him to avoid further suffering.

The congregation were all