Which cognitive distortions do you struggle with?

[_Amore]

After studying common thinking distortions, I've come to realize I and most people struggle with at least one or two.
These are common distortions in group thought -especially (but not limited to) Mormonism. I believe correcting these dysfunctional thought patterns helps in feeling, relating and living better.

Even scriptures sometimes contain cognitive distortions, but I don't discount them all because of that - i just cherry pick as Joseph Smith suggested. :)
Please, share any thoughts. Thanks!


1. Filtering: filtering out positive aspects of a situation while magnifying negative. Catastrophizing – magnifying or minimizing, expecting disaster. Disqualifying the positive or negative.
“Test all things;hold fast what is good.” -1 Thess 5:21

2. Bi-polar thinking: black- or white (when often it is a mix)
“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” - John 8:32

3. Overgeneralization– something happens once, but general conclusions are based on that one happening
*Jumping to conclusions – concluding with out knowing orconsidering all of the facts
Global Labeling – Generalizing
Rethink: I consider all the facts… & even possibilities that I may be unaware of.
I realize that people don’t think or feel as I do – we each are unique – so I’m careful about my conclusions… We can’t help but conclude/judge – to protect ourselves & others – yet I still keep an open mind, realizing I, nor others are perfect, nor do we communicate & interpret perfectly.
“Be transformed bythe renewing of your mind.” –Rom 12:2

4.*Personalization – taking things personally, comparing
Rethink: Myself-esteem comes from myself, not from others. Even when someone purposefully puts me down, I realize there are many ways to interpret it & before taking it “to heart” – I consider the source’s credibility &if there is any truth to their actions/words.
“Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never supposed.” -Moses 1:10

5. *ControlFallacies – Viewing ourselves victim to external controls, or internalizingothers pain (to feel control)
Rethink: I am authority over my thoughts, feelings & actions. I am captain of my own soul.
Others pain is theirs… I have compassion in harmony with compassion for myself & what seems best.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”-Proverbs 3:5-6

6. *Blaming – holding others responsible for our pain, or blaming ourselves for others pain
Rethink: I am responsible for my happiness. Others are responsible for their happiness. We can help each other here & there – but that is only temporary help, whereas the real source of happiness is within each of us.
“For as a manthinks in his heart, so is he.” – Pro 23:7

7. *Shoulds – making rules about everything –especially unrealistic rules (ie perfection) - & inducing shame when rules aren’t kept.
Rethink: I focus onwhat I’ve achieved… & with positive encouragement also focus on what I wantto achieve and improve… while also I realize nobody’s perfect & I’m ok with that.
“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow…”-Mat 6:28

8. *Fallacy of Change – Thinking we can change others &then we’ll be happy (both aren’t true)
Rethink: Others are the way they are… & often have been that way for a while… momentum doesn’t change easily & I don’t expect others to change. I accept that they are the way they are… Even if they changed, there are still countless other possible conflicts. Nobody’s perfect & no relationship is perfect either.
“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalms 46:10

9. *Always being right – Continually on trial to prove our opinions & actions are correct
Rethink: I’m not always right & I’m ok with that. Nobody is always right because nobody’s all-knowing. It’s ok. Also, I’m ok if people question me… they can question & I don’t have to explain anything, unless I want to.
“…hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?” -1Cor1:20

10. *Fallacy of Fairness – Constantly looking for fairness & being disappointed (because life often isn’t fair)
Rethink: I have my own goals and value system. Although, I respect schedules, my overall priority is to be loyal to the promptings of spiritual creativity within me… which cannot be compared withothers. Somtimes life is not fair in my favor, sometimes others' favor.
“God is no respector of persons.”

11. *Emotional Reasoning – thinking feelings are facts (when they aren’t)
Rethink: What I feel is based on my thoughts. I know when & how to rearrange my thinking. Although, I accept what I feel for the emotion it is, but I realize it’snot fact & only one interpretation out of many possible interpretations.
(“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”)

12. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Belief that if you suffer enough, the pay-off will be worth it after-life
Rethink: Now is all we experience, since we do not time travel in the past or future. “Men ARE (present tense) that they might havejoy.” God is “I am that I am” – again present tense. This life is lived in the present moment, so I do my best to love others as well as myself – these are most important above all. Love involves striving for what is best – sometimes that involves suffering, but not always and necessarily. Although, life is essentially more of a school than a vacation, there are many opportunities to enjoy and life does not require extra suffering. In fact, extra suffering leads to more suffering of others. There is clean paina nd dirty pain – clean pain is natural, even necessary suffering for good. Dirty pain is the extra burden we add in how we dwell on misery and or dysfunctional thoughts.
“Let the dead bury the dead… God is not a god of the dead, but of the living.”

[_Amore]

Something I struggle with, would include polarized thinking and maybe labeling/overgeneralizing when I unrealistically expect others to be my idea of perfect and if they don't agree with me on certain things, I've previously kindof put them on my bad list. My parents tend to do this, as well as the church culture.

Ie: One of my best friends is TBM - she lives in an area with few LDS and doesn't understand how different it is living in UT. We got into some religious arguments and I was tempted to give up on our friendship, but I realized as long as we don't discuss religion, we get along well. Maybe if I weren't living in UT, I'd feel a greater need for the church instead of feeling a bit force fed.

Applying this idea is much more challenging with spouses and others in more intimate circles.

[_Bazooka]

Maybe if I weren't living in UT, I'd feel a greater need for the church instead of feeling a bit force fed.

Nah, when you interact with Mormons you're pretty much guaranteed to feel like a foie gras duck.

[_sunstoned]

I was born into a church were bi-polar thinking was the norm. I have been out of the church for years, but I am still plagued by this type of thinking.

[_Amore]

Maybe if I weren't living in UT, I'd feel a greater need for the church instead of feeling a bit force fed.

Nah, when you interact with Mormons you're pretty much guaranteed to feel like a foie gras duck.

Aren't you considered Mormon? ;)

Really, I think people who are surrounded by people with other faiths (rather than their own group) tend to be more open minded, don't you?

[_Amore]

I was born into a church were bi-polar thinking was the norm. I have been out of the church for years, but I am still plagued by this type of thinking.

Me too.
It's a tough one because it's supported by so many herd mentalities...
Ie:"Good guy vs. bad guy" superficiality is about all America's lit (movies) have time for.

Little by little, I'm letting go of previous unrealistic expectations of perfection and dysfunctional shame. But it's an ongoing process. First, I was angry at realizing so much wasn't how I'd thought - pissed at myself and others for being imperfect. Now, realizing (emotionally not just intellectually) that it's to be expected that all human beings have some greed, pride, general weakness. "In each of us is a bit of all of us."

[_LittleNipper]

I was born into a church were bi-polar thinking was the norm. I have been out of the church for years, but I am still plagued by this type of thinking.

Me too.
It's a tough one because it's supported by so many herd mentalities...
Ie:"Good guy vs. bad guy" superficiality is about all America's lit (movies) have time for.

Little by little, I'm letting go of previous unrealistic expectations of perfection and dysfunctional shame. But it's an ongoing process. First, I was angry at realizing so much wasn't how I'd thought - pissed at myself and others for being imperfect. Now, realizing (emotionally not just intellectually) that it's to be expected that all human beings have some greed, pride, general weakness. "In each of us is a bit of all of us."

Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: ... Not of works, lest any man should boast.

No one can keep the commandments!- This is true, for we are carnally minded, “Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.” Romans 8:7. When we really love God, we try to obey Him because we love Him, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” John 15:14.

“For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:3, 4. Flesh is weak; people are weak. Man cannot keep God's law. That is why God sent His Only Begotten Son in human flesh to overcame sin for us and died for our sins to empower us to live in the grace of God in Christ Jesus.

[_Bazooka]

Maybe if I weren't living in UT, I'd feel a greater need for the church instead of feeling a bit force fed.

Nah, when you interact with Mormons you're pretty much guaranteed to feel like a foie gras duck.

Aren't you considered Mormon? ;)

Only by Mormons!

Really, I think people who are surrounded by people with other faiths (rather than their own group) tend to be more open minded, don't you?

I don't think that applies in any consistent way. I have found religious folks tend to be less open minded because at their core they think they are right and that people not sharing their beliefs are, in some way, on the wrong path. The judgemental bias is built in, not matter how well they manage to suppress it.

[_subgenius]

...(snip)...

11. *Emotional Reasoning – thinking feelings are facts (when they aren’t)
Rethink: What I feel is based on my thoughts. I know when & how to rearrange my thinking. Although, I accept what I feel for the emotion it is, but I realize it’snot fact & only one interpretation out of many possible interpretations.
(“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”)

...(snip)...

This is an interesting point and one that I believe many others struggle with on this board.
I would like to notice one aspect.
I realize that I can change my thinking and that often my emotions and thoughts are seemingly intertwined.
But
While I am capable of thinking about "different things" at will....I have not mastered the ability to feel emotions at will.
in other words
I can act angry whenever I command it...regardless of how i feel...like a broadway actor, it is sometimes easy to "behave" an emotion.
yet i can never replicate the true emotion, within me, of anger on command
nor can bring forth the sensation of being "tickled"
My mind and thoughts seem powerless to draw forth emotion...sure i can remember the death of my mother and "make myself" sad or even tearful...but that is a faded facsimile of the actual emotion felt when she did die.

and unlike those who rely on a few beers and a subscription to cinemax, I cannot simulate the joy of love.

So, while i admit that most every person here has somewhat mastered the ability to think of this or think of that....who has accomplished the ability to master their emotion? (please, do not confuse the ability to suppress or ignore an emotion/feeling with the ability to generate an emotion/feeling).

[_Bazooka]

Subgenius, what is your understanding of the commercial product known as "Heartsell"?