Wade et al...resources list

[_Sam Harris]

Hello Wade,

I'm still not sure of what the exact focus is for your website, but if it is aimed at a general audience, and is not focused on denomination or religion, I'd love to help. I'm grateful for the current result of my journey, and have always looked for a way to "give back" the gift of knowledge that has been given to me. But I am selective of just where I do that for many reasons.

For me, and I think for many, the most important part of a healing journey is self-knowledge. You need to know who you are, as a whole, and as a result of what you've been through. You need to eventually pinpoint what you want to change, and create steps that will help you to do this. Me, I started my journey at 14. I knew that what was going on between me and my mom was abusive, so one day I went to the library and looked up books on child abuse. I read up, and out popped the key words "depression" and "suicide". Before that day, I didn't know that there were words for what I was going through. I kept reading, and then when convinced that I really wasn't as crazy as I felt, I went to my guidance counselor.

12 years later I'm a happier person. Mind you, I'm just about two years out of the darkness.

Like I said on the other thread, therapy for me was just having someone to listen who wasn't always trying to interrupt me or say I was crazy, or that "it didn't happen that way". A lot of the work I did was just reading, or journaling.

I think journaling is important, and I think this is something that should be recommended to anyone going through a healing process. I've journaled since childhood, and I've kept my books. It's a valuable thing to go back and look at, because over time you can see where you have been, see what has changed (and rejoice if it's positive), and see what has not changed (and think of what you need to do to make that change). I've kept several journals at once in certain periods of my life, to chronicle certain important things. Example: I kept a journal marking those first 365 days I spent without my father. I keep separate journals for poetry, my songs. It helps as a creative outlet, and makes me feel like I have something artistic to contribute to the world (I occasionally go to poetry readings/open mike nights).

Journals with a special theme are also helpful. Here are a few of the ones that I've used...and I still have them. I must stress that for some, it might be helpful to keep these things. The journey is just as important as the destination.

Soul Catcher: A Journal to Help You Become Who You Really Are, by Kathy and Amy Eldon

The Hard Questions for An Authentic Life, by Susan Piver

List Yourself, by Ilene Segalove and Paul Bob Velick



Two of these have questions that you read, think about, and answer. They're not to be answered in any order, just at the time that is appropriate for you. Both of these books are not 100% complete for me, I use them as needed, and I used Soul Catcher in my teens, so it's good to look back and see where I've come from.

List Yourself is exactly that, a list. You list things you like, list places you want to go, things that you dream about. I think it's a good book to use to get your mind off the negative.

Onto the actual books:

My fav authors are Harold S. Kushner, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, and Marianne Williamson. I've read other authors, but these four are authors that I read repeatedly. A few of these are aimed just at women, but I think the titles speak for themselves.

From Bishop T.D. Jakes:

Woman, Thou Art Loosed! (phenomenal!!!!)
Promises From God for Single Women
The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord
The Ten Commandments for Working in a Hostile Environment (awesome)
Can You Stand to be Blessed?
Naked and Not Ashamed
Maximize the Moment

From Joyce Meyer:

Beauty for Ashes (a really good book that focuses on healing and forgiveness...Joyce's story is amazing as well)
Straight talk on Loneliness
Straight talk on Insecurity
(she has a few other "straight talk" books out there)

From Marianne Williamson:

Illuminata
Illuminated Prayers

I would recommend any of her books, I wish I could read faster, I'd be able to get a few more in.

From Rabbi Kushner:

When Bad Things Happen to Good People (a must read)
How Good Do We Have To Be? (I'm still reading this one)

Here's some others I've read:

Streams In The Desert, by Charles E. Cowman This is a daily devotional which is good to read along with scripture.

Calm Me Down, Lift Me Up, by Barbara L. Heller This book is a book of ideas of things to do when you feel anxious or stressed, or even depressed. Not necessarily a guidebook, rather just a book full of ideas, like take a bath, do yoga, go swimming...it even has quotes in it.

Toxic Parents, by Susan Forward

CoDependent No More, by Melody Beattie

You Can Heal Your Life, book and companion book by Louise L. Hay

You Can Do It! The Merit Badge Handbook for Grown-Up Girls, by Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas This book is pretty much what the title says. I bought it last year, and it has about 60 different things that you can learn to do, accompanied by the testimony of someone whose been there, resources to get you started, and places where you can record your progress. Things like going back to school (badge for me!), dancing, singing, activism, becoming a writer are all in this book, and it is very empowering to see yourself meet goals like these. I have a whole bunch of places marked in this book of things I'd like to learn to do. And you get a pretty sticker each time you complete something. :D

For the goddesses out there:He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrend and Liz Tuccillo Priceless book for those ladies who are dangling after that worthless waste of man who won't treat them right. Must buy!

Following the Yellow Brick Road: The Adult Child's Personal Journey Through Oz, by Joy Miller and Marianne Ripper Good for adult children of alcoholics or others struggling with family dysfunction.

The list could go on, but you get the point. I have read and posessed these books over the years that I have been on my healing journey, and they have all helped me in one way or another. Now onto the other resources I've used:

Self Scoring Personality Test - Victor Serebiakoff
Self Scoring Emotional Intelligence Test - Mark Daniel

Warning! These things should not be used by those who are not in some sense comfortable enough with who they are to read what these tests tell them. I know what my issues are, so reading that I'm too agressive just means I need to change. Others might take this the wrong way, so I think only people who are advanced on their healing journeys can benefit from tests like these. People too early into the journey will take this as a "be all and end all" and it might do damage.

Hobbies:

At times the mind is just too active for one's own good. I've found over the years that doing things with my hands or body, like swimming (a fav in the warmer months), pottery painting (wonderful mood changer), cross stitch or even coloring (so I'm 25, bite me, I can color dang good! *grin*) can take my mind off of things that bother me. Many people get into mental cycles where they are allowing people to bother them who probably aren't even thinking about them at that moment, and things to bother them that aren't even in the picture at the time. When you get like this, get a hobby and get your mind off it.

Here's a good coloring website, if Care Bears is just a little to much for you...it is for me :)

http://www.free-coloring-pages.com/

Here's a really radical thing to do, for those who are really suffering with inner child issues. Create an "inner child" doll. This child is supposed to represent yourself, and you are to "nurture" this child, and give it what you did not recieve. The following page gives instructions on how to make it and what the purpose is for. I made one the year my dad died, before he got sick, and it helped a little...some are helped more, and that's why I'm putting it out here.

http://healing.about.com/cs/innerchild/ ... lddoll.htm

More Resources:

The Love Pack, a collection of 84 meditation cards that focuses on relationships and how you view them, by Chuck Spezzano

Apparently Spezzano has other collections of cards such as these. These are not tarot cards, they do not tell the future or predict anything. Rather, they give the user things to think about, encouragement about things that do work in their relationships, and things to work on.


As you can see Wade, there is a mix here. Some very traditional Christian things, some secular, and some New Age. They have all helped me. If your dream is to help others, maybe these things can help in conjunction with other things. I also when asked will look up resources in a person's county as far as therapy and crisis numbers are concerned.

One last thing:

A few years back I had had a hard Christmas. A friend of mine had given me a care package, and in it was this book:

Look Who's Laughing, by Spangler/MacDonald

This book is good clean hilarity. The people on the Metro had thought I'd gone loopy I was laughing so hard reading this. Sometimes we just need a good laugh, too. I also recommend Bad Cat, Bad Baby (so cute!), and Bad President (for those who disdain Bush, LOL). These are books of pictures with captions.

Well anyways, here's all the stuff I've dabbled in. Some find things like these rediculous, but I'm not sure I'd have survived if left to my own devices. I live in a world of books, always have. So for someone like me self-help books are the way. Others have different methods. Perhaps you may come across someone who can use the above. If anyone is lurking who might have questions, PM me, no problem. I'd be more than happy to point you to a resource.

G'night.

[_Sam Harris]

Iyanla Vanzant is also pretty good.

[_moksha]

Here is even more resources: http://www.thework.com/index.asp The Work of Byron Katie.

Also, you could eclectically choose some of the more helpful ideas from The Landmark Forum http://www.landmarkeducation.com/, The Course in Miracles http://www.nightingale.com/p~Product~A_Course_Miracles.asp, and the Four Noble Truths from the Buddha. This should be a very helpful adjunct to Mormon thought in terms of a healing perspective. In addition, Truth Dancer's sites hold some good information.

[_OUT OF MY MISERY]

Hello Wade,

I'm still not sure of what the exact focus is for your website, but if it is aimed at a general audience, and is not focused on denomination or religion, I'd love to help. I'm grateful for the current result of my journey, and have always looked for a way to "give back" the gift of knowledge that has been given to me. But I am selective of just where I do that for many reasons.

For me, and I think for many, the most important part of a healing journey is self-knowledge. You need to know who you are, as a whole, and as a result of what you've been through. You need to eventually pinpoint what you want to change, and create steps that will help you to do this. Me, I started my journey at 14. I knew that what was going on between me and my mom was abusive, so one day I went to the library and looked up books on child abuse. I read up, and out popped the key words "depression" and "suicide". Before that day, I didn't know that there were words for what I was going through. I kept reading, and then when convinced that I really wasn't as crazy as I felt, I went to my guidance counselor.

12 years later I'm a happier person. Mind you, I'm just about two years out of the darkness.

Like I said on the other thread, therapy for me was just having someone to listen who wasn't always trying to interrupt me or say I was crazy, or that "it didn't happen that way". A lot of the work I did was just reading, or journaling.

I think journaling is important, and I think this is something that should be recommended to anyone going through a healing process. I've journaled since childhood, and I've kept my books. It's a valuable thing to go back and look at, because over time you can see where you have been, see what has changed (and rejoice if it's positive), and see what has not changed (and think of what you need to do to make that change). I've kept several journals at once in certain periods of my life, to chronicle certain important things. Example: I kept a journal marking those first 365 days I spent without my father. I keep separate journals for poetry, my songs. It helps as a creative outlet, and makes me feel like I have something artistic to contribute to the world (I occasionally go to poetry readings/open mike nights).

Journals with a special theme are also helpful. Here are a few of the ones that I've used...and I still have them. I must stress that for some, it might be helpful to keep these things. The journey is just as important as the destination.

Soul Catcher: A Journal to Help You Become Who You Really Are, by Kathy and Amy Eldon

The Hard Questions for An Authentic Life, by Susan Piver

List Yourself, by Ilene Segalove and Paul Bob Velick



Two of these have questions that you read, think about, and answer. They're not to be answered in any order, just at the time that is appropriate for you. Both of these books are not 100% complete for me, I use them as needed, and I used Soul Catcher in my teens, so it's good to look back and see where I've come from.

List Yourself is exactly that, a list. You list things you like, list places you want to go, things that you dream about. I think it's a good book to use to get your mind off the negative.

Onto the actual books:

My fav authors are Harold S. Kushner, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, and Marianne Williamson. I've read other authors, but these four are authors that I read repeatedly. A few of these are aimed just at women, but I think the titles speak for themselves.

From Bishop T.D. Jakes:

Woman, Thou Art Loosed! (phenomenal!!!!)
Promises From God for Single Women
The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord
The Ten Commandments for Working in a Hostile Environment (awesome)
Can You Stand to be Blessed?
Naked and Not Ashamed
Maximize the Moment

From Joyce Meyer:

Beauty for Ashes (a really good book that focuses on healing and forgiveness...Joyce's story is amazing as well)
Straight talk on Loneliness
Straight talk on Insecurity
(she has a few other "straight talk" books out there)

From Marianne Williamson:

Illuminata
Illuminated Prayers

I would recommend any of her books, I wish I could read faster, I'd be able to get a few more in.

From Rabbi Kushner:

When Bad Things Happen to Good People (a must read)
How Good Do We Have To Be? (I'm still reading this one)

Here's some others I've read:

Streams In The Desert, by Charles E. Cowman This is a daily devotional which is good to read along with scripture.

Calm Me Down, Lift Me Up, by Barbara L. Heller This book is a book of ideas of things to do when you feel anxious or stressed, or even depressed. Not necessarily a guidebook, rather just a book full of ideas, like take a bath, do yoga, go swimming...it even has quotes in it.

Toxic Parents, by Susan Forward

CoDependent No More, by Melody Beattie

You Can Heal Your Life, book and companion book by Louise L. Hay

You Can Do It! The Merit Badge Handbook for Grown-Up Girls, by Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas This book is pretty much what the title says. I bought it last year, and it has about 60 different things that you can learn to do, accompanied by the testimony of someone whose been there, resources to get you started, and places where you can record your progress. Things like going back to school (badge for me!), dancing, singing, activism, becoming a writer are all in this book, and it is very empowering to see yourself meet goals like these. I have a whole bunch of places marked in this book of things I'd like to learn to do. And you get a pretty sticker each time you complete something. :D

For the goddesses out there:He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrend and Liz Tuccillo Priceless book for those ladies who are dangling after that worthless waste of man who won't treat them right. Must buy!

Following the Yellow Brick Road: The Adult Child's Personal Journey Through Oz, by Joy Miller and Marianne Ripper Good for adult children of alcoholics or others struggling with family dysfunction.

The list could go on, but you get the point. I have read and posessed these books over the years that I have been on my healing journey, and they have all helped me in one way or another. Now onto the other resources I've used:

Self Scoring Personality Test - Victor Serebiakoff
Self Scoring Emotional Intelligence Test - Mark Daniel

Warning! These things should not be used by those who are not in some sense comfortable enough with who they are to read what these tests tell them. I know what my issues are, so reading that I'm too agressive just means I need to change. Others might take this the wrong way, so I think only people who are advanced on their healing journeys can benefit from tests like these. People too early into the journey will take this as a "be all and end all" and it might do damage.

Hobbies:

At times the mind is just too active for one's own good. I've found over the years that doing things with my hands or body, like swimming (a fav in the warmer months), pottery painting (wonderful mood changer), cross stitch or even coloring (so I'm 25, bite me, I can color dang good! *grin*) can take my mind off of things that bother me. Many people get into mental cycles where they are allowing people to bother them who probably aren't even thinking about them at that moment, and things to bother them that aren't even in the picture at the time. When you get like this, get a hobby and get your mind off it.

Here's a good coloring website, if Care Bears is just a little to much for you...it is for me :)

http://www.free-coloring-pages.com/

Here's a really radical thing to do, for those who are really suffering with inner child issues. Create an "inner child" doll. This child is supposed to represent yourself, and you are to "nurture" this child, and give it what you did not recieve. The following page gives instructions on how to make it and what the purpose is for. I made one the year my dad died, before he got sick, and it helped a little...some are helped more, and that's why I'm putting it out here.

http://healing.about.com/cs/innerchild/ ... lddoll.htm

More Resources:

The Love Pack, a collection of 84 meditation cards that focuses on relationships and how you view them, by Chuck Spezzano

Apparently Spezzano has other collections of cards such as these. These are not tarot cards, they do not tell the future or predict anything. Rather, they give the user things to think about, encouragement about things that do work in their relationships, and things to work on.


As you can see Wade, there is a mix here. Some very traditional Christian things, some secular, and some New Age. They have all helped me. If your dream is to help others, maybe these things can help in conjunction with other things. I also when asked will look up resources in a person's county as far as therapy and crisis numbers are concerned.

One last thing:

A few years back I had had a hard Christmas. A friend of mine had given me a care package, and in it was this book:

Look Who's Laughing, by Spangler/MacDonald

This book is good clean hilarity. The people on the Metro had thought I'd gone loopy I was laughing so hard reading this. Sometimes we just need a good laugh, too. I also recommend Bad Cat, Bad Baby (so cute!), and Bad President (for those who disdain Bush, LOL). These are books of pictures with captions.

Well anyways, here's all the stuff I've dabbled in. Some find things like these rediculous, but I'm not sure I'd have survived if left to my own devices. I live in a world of books, always have. So for someone like me self-help books are the way. Others have different methods. Perhaps you may come across someone who can use the above. If anyone is lurking who might have questions, PM me, no problem. I'd be more than happy to point you to a resource.

G'night.

GIMR

I have also found my sanity in baking and sewing. I love making cookies for my family and I will be selling my designer hand bags on E-Bay.
I transferred to a different college that is more adult orientated and classes are in the evenings which leaves my days free for now. All I need on my resume is to say I graduated college I have the work experience so that last college was not a good fit for me.
Too much time is not good for me either. I am finally in therapy at 46 and it feels wonderful to have someone listen and be objective.

You go girl, cauce it will only get better, trust me.
OOMM

[_wenglund]

Hi GIMR,

I very much appreciate you taking the time to write out your resource list. I can't say that I am all that familiar with some of the authors you listed (with the exception of Rabbi Kushner), so it is good that you contributed these things as a way of broadening the perspective of the proposed board.

I am also gratefule for Moksha's contributions.

Each will be added to my resource list.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-