you served a mission and now are not active

[_karl61]

If you served a mission and no longer go to church or maybe do but don't really believe what the Church says then when did you start to question the beliefs - what information caused you to start to really question things.

[Aristotle Smith]

My introduction to real church history came later. The realization for me was that as members, we had become elaborate excuse makers for the Lord. If outcome "A" surfaced, we had the answer. If outcome "B" occurred, we had the reason as well. We had cute couplet type sayings for everything imaginable. However, once all of these "Reasons" and "Statements" occupied the same room, it was clear that there was far too much in the way of contradiction.

If someone had their cancer go into remission, it was celebrated during testimony meeting as a priesthood miracle. When someone died of cancer, especially an untimely death, the spirit would bear witness that they were called home as they were needed on the other side of the veil. A lot of people die daily, don't they? Is God short handed up there? Maybe if he had planned better, there wouldn't be the need to truncate someones probationary state? What do I know, I'm just thinking out loud here! Haha!

I was pretty much out, and then one day as I was feeling reminiscent of the mission field, I googled around to find my mission home page - and boy did I get an eye full!

[_Ten Bear]

Actually it wasn't any "information" at all but just some common reasoning. I served in Japan. I was sent to these people to tell them that, 1) their religion was wrong, and 2) I had the "one and only true" church and therefore the key to happiness.

After spending quite a few months there, sitting and talking with these people over and over, I came to the realization that they were much "happier" than I'd ever seen in a family or group. Far happier than the town and culture that I grew up in. I started to see, after a while, that we were the weirdo, religious zealots over there that stood out like a soar thumb. At that point, I just took a chill pill and decided to enjoy my "stay" in Japan and I did. I had a good time from then on. I came home without a testimony, though.

The story, of course, goes a lot deeper than that - but that's the jist of it.

All the "information" that I've come across since then, was just confirmation of what I already knew.

[_Gadianton]

studying the old testament. though that started on my mission. sort of put it on the shelf, then it sort of resurfaced a while after mission.

[_beastie]

I was traumatized by my mission, and went through a brief period of doubts afterwards - I met with the SP and told him I wasn't even sure God existed. But he bore his testimony, including a story of a miraculous healing in his own family, and I returned to Provo, and believed it all once again.

It wasn't until over a decade later, when I accidentally happened upon the book Mormon Enigma, Emma Hale Smith, that I began the real process of doubt, ultimate loss of faith, and exodus.

[_Polygamy Porter]

Actually it wasn't any "information" at all but just some common reasoning. I served in Japan. I was sent to these people to tell them that, 1) their religion was wrong, and 2) I had the "one and only true" church and therefore the key to happiness.

And 3) God likes brown and white Hebrews better than Asians. Either that or Jesus was only allotted two "visitations" on this tour stop..

[_Polygamy Porter]

A lot of people die daily, don't they? Is God short handed up there? Maybe if he had planned better, there wouldn't be the need to truncate someones probationary state?

ROTFLMFAO!!

[_Inconceivable]

I served a mission in the early '80's. Though it was incredibly difficult being driven by guilt and numbers, I tried to overlook such things and made the best of it. I was "successful' during the 2nd half of the 18 month mission. Regardless, I had always been immersed in living "the Gospel".

Though I had some disturbing experiences I shelved previous, I was a TBM until about 2 years ago.

After attending the April general conference I began to wonderi how many children (if any) of Joseph and Emma lived to maturity. I found myself in front of the computer at the church's official geneological records site. There I discovered that they had several. All of which I had never really heard about except Joseph III. To my surprise, I also noticed that the many women he was sealed (married) to were not performed posthumously as I had been taught. I saw a few children from them as well as the indication that some of the women appeared to be married to someone else at the time. That could not be. I consciously knew that at this point, it was about to become a red pill/blue pill moment.

The first outside mainstream books I read were from the reorganized church. Why? Emma and his children belonged to it. I wanted to understand why Joseph Smith's entire family rejected "the Gospel" (as I formerly called it). I almost came to believe her testimony that her husband was faithful to her, but that opinion didn't last long.

I began to study D&C 132, when and how it came about. Brigham Young's discourse in 1852 "revealing" it to the church etc., then the Nauvoo Expositor...

I have not been to church since my son's homecoming this year. I will never return. The foundation of the church is a fraud. The mass of spiritual experiences I have accumulated over my life I now do not fully understand. If they are from the Mormon god, I prefer to reject them and him to a life with less confusion, double standard, misunderstanding and even illusion. I am, at the moment, still finding myself working through the overwhelming feelings of betrayal towards myself and those whom I love.

I am one of the jury of his peers.

Joseph Smith was a wicked raping pirate.