asbestosman wrote:Sister Mary Lisa wrote:The closest thing we have to revelation is the Proclamation to the Family, and what a disappointing message it gives us that anyone not living a family life with a mother, father, and children together in the same home is somehow straying from the Only Way It Should Be. Sad, because there are so many diverse and beautiful families in the church who don't fit that exactly, and they are made to feel as if they've failed.
Having a different family does not imply failure. Sometimes a parent dies and leaves behind widows. I don't see how the proclomation implied that such is straying from the gospel path, and if you do then I think that I frankly cannot help you to understand what a wonderful proclomation it was for our times. It is the ideal to strive for, not the measuring stick of worthiness. Worthiness depends on intent + actions within your ability to control. You cannot prevent all untimely death. You can control yourself so as not to have sex outside of wedlock or to do that which is unseemly with your own gender.
Notice that the only example out of thousands of diverse family situations that you could come up with where it's OK to be a "different" family is by being a widow or widower. All other families who aren't this model family as outlined in the Proclamation are viewed as less than ideal and somehow lacking. I know this is true, having been married to a non-member for 14 years while being an active Mormon, and being consistently placed on the fringes of the crowd, because I was different. Because I took my kids to church alone. People at church treat people who aren't the "ideal" differently.
And it is implied, like you just did, that if you don't live that, you haven't sought out the righteous path for yourself, or it's assumed you haven't attempted to strive hard enough for it. I wonder if a righteous young LDS man would rather choose to marry a young, righteous, beautiful divorcee with three kids, or a young, righteous, beautiful, single woman who'd never been married yet. Only one of them fits the "ideal" he should strive for as outlined in the Proclamation.
If an LDS woman has a very best friend who isn't LDS, and they love each other with all their hearts, and he is the perfect mate for her in all ways, she will be discouraged from seeking him for her mate, because he is not "ideal." I find this so sad, pointless, and wrong.