Changes for April Conference

[_canpakes]

It will be proclaimed that tithing protects the true believer from COVID-19. However, looking at pornography guarantees infection.

[_Res Ipsa]

Our Stake Conference for this weekend has been cancelled. Will General Conference in April be cancelled too?

Predictions in Washington say that we won’t peak before April at the earliest. I don’t think it takes a prophet to do the math.

[_moksha]

The Brethren will appear to be seated on the dais as usual during the semi-annual General Conference, however, what you see will be holo-projections. The real Brethren have been placed in hermetically sealed tubes which will protect them against viral infections while nourishing and strengthening their bodies.

Hope this explanation of changes is helpful.

[_reflexzero]

I wonder why they didn’t warn the members last October that it was all going to hell in April.

[_Grudunza]

Just announced: GC is broadcast only

[_kairos]

Church supply specialists have placed an order for 5000 sacrament trays from woshin china to be delivered nlt 30 march. Seems Rusty has had a new revelation to squash the corona virus scare and put that hoax to rest.
President news room will be reporting that in this General Conference a miracle will occur- 5000 deacons will pass the sacrament both bread and water to each attendee at the Sunday morning session to be presided over by Rusty. There is only 1 caveat - any attendee over 80 will only receive the bread- you know you can never be too careful if you are the Prophet! no comment from sister wendy on this development!

just tellin it like it should be

k

[_I have a question]

Just announced: General Conference is broadcast only

The sustaining vote section will be interesting...

[_toon]

Just announced: General Conference is broadcast only

I'm definitely going to watch now . . . NOT.

But will they provide a background cough track? Too soon?

[_I have a question]

November 2019...

On Friday the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints put out its first public announcement concerning the April 2020 General Conference that will commemorate 200 years since Joseph Smith’s First Vision.

In the October 2019 conference President Russell M. Nelson asked members to prepare for the historic commemoration and to expect a conference in April that will provide something that has never been done before.

Members of the church ages 11 years and older, including Young Men, Young Women, Relief Society and Elder’s quorums are invited to participate in the evening session of the Saturday conference. The Saturday evening session is usually reserved as the Priesthood Session during April’s conference.

“Rather than having the Priesthood session or the General Women’s Session, the Saturday evening session will be held for all members of the Young Women and Relief Society, and all holders of the Aaronic Priesthood and the Melchizedek Priesthood,” the First Presidency said in a letter. “We look forward to commemorating with members of the Church the 200th anniversary of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ at this historic conference and throughout the year 2020.”

https://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/ ... e8b68.html

It’s like they didn’t see this coming...

[_grindael]

I have it on good authority that there are new garments that will come with a high collar and attached face mask. You will be able to buy them soon, they have known about this for a long time and are totally prepared for it. (They are prophets, after all). But you still have to purchase them yourself. And if you pay extra tithing it will count as virus insurance and protect you from any virus. The face mask are for those who are lacking in faith and choose to live a lower law. Big announcement coming soon.