Personal accountability/responsibility

[_Yoda]

Do you know individuals or group or organization that you believe are very resistent to self-criticism, lack open and honest introspection, and/or fail to accept personal/group responsibility for difficulties they may experience with others?

If so, could you name them?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

You mentioned that you expected more people to answer, "themselves", but in looking at how the question was worded, I can see why some may have been confused, and not answered that way. In referring to individuals, you asked, "Do you know individuals that you believe are very resistant to self-criticism?"

If I were applying this to myself, I critique myself all the time, and rather harshly. I have a pretty strong drive to achieve excellence in the things I care about, so I analyze my own work very carefully, and often ask for constructive criticism from others.

Now, if the question were worded, it is difficult for me to take criticism? In some cases yes, in some cases, no. For me, it depends on how the criticism is given. If it's simply meant to tear me down, then I'm not likely to take it seriously, and I'm also likely to become offended. If the criticism is constructive, and the person offering me the feedback is honestly trying to help me, then I will value what they have to say.

I think it's always a sense of pride to any of us, when we have accomplished something, and it is criticized. Like other posters have mentioned here, it's basically human nature. Any time you own something, and spend time and effort accomplishing something, your natural response is to want it to be appreciated.

[_OUT OF MY MISERY]

You need to define what you mean by self-criticism.

I do not lack the ability for honest introspection.

What group should I be responsible to????

The Human group, the Mormon group, The WOMEN's GROUP

The Gay Group??

I have a feeling you a dying to tells us which group we should hold responsible for our difficulties in life.

Go ahead'''''.........BRING IT ON WANGGY

[_wenglund]

Good Monday Wade, you ask:

Do you know individuals or group or organization that you believe are very resistent to self-criticism, lack open and honest introspection, and/or fail to accept personal/group responsibility for difficulties they may experience with others?

If so, could you name them?

In answer to your question, "yes, all of the above." In response to your request, "no, what purpose would be served by doing so?"

Would you like further commentary? Warm regards, Roger

Hi Roger,

The names aren't important. If you would like to respond to my second question (i.e. "what behaviors, attitudes, or characteristics lead you to think this about the individuals or groups you suggested?"), that would be great.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_wenglund]

Do you know individuals or group or organization that you believe are very resistent to self-criticism, lack open and honest introspection, and/or fail to accept personal/group responsibility for difficulties they may experience with others?

If so, could you name them?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

You mentioned that you expected more people to answer, "themselves", but in looking at how the question was worded, I can see why some may have been confused, and not answered that way. In referring to individuals, you asked, "Do you know individuals that you believe are very resistant to self-criticism?"

If I were applying this to myself, I critique myself all the time, and rather harshly. I have a pretty strong drive to achieve excellence in the things I care about, so I analyze my own work very carefully, and often ask for constructive criticism from others.

Now, if the question were worded, it is difficult for me to take criticism? In some cases yes, in some cases, no. For me, it depends on how the criticism is given. If it's simply meant to tear me down, then I'm not likely to take it seriously, and I'm also likely to become offended. If the criticism is constructive, and the person offering me the feedback is honestly trying to help me, then I will value what they have to say.

I think it's always a sense of pride to any of us, when we have accomplished something, and it is criticized. Like other posters have mentioned here, it's basically human nature. Any time you own something, and spend time and effort accomplishing something, your natural response is to want it to be appreciated.

I can see how you may have thought what I said was confusing, but your answer actually tells me that you weren't confused at all. It is just that you believe you aren't resistent at all to self-criticism.

What I was alluding to in noting my watching with interest to see if anyone would specifically mention themselves, was the distinct possibility that people may be somewhat resistent to honest and open self-criticism enough to be unaware that they are resistent to honest and open self-criticism. See what I mean? It is a bit of a paradox.

For example, if Moksha, truth dancer, and msnobody's are correct that resistence to self-criticism is part of human nature (I happen to agree with them), the fact that you as a human don't see yourself as resistent to self-criticism, could be an indication that you are resistent enough to self-criticism not to be aware that you are, by nature, somewhat resistent to self-criticism.

Just something to introspect on. ;-)

Anyway, even though you may not be resistent to self-criticism, do you have any thoughts on what it would look like were someone to be resistent to self-criticism and not take personal responsibility for difficulties they experience with others?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Yoda]

I think, what you may be referring to, Wade, is criticism, rather than self-criticism.

I am the first to admit, that I am resistant to criticism from others, particularly if I really feel I have done my best on something....but...I am very critical of myself. I think that the reason I am resistant to criticism of others at times, is because I am so critical of myself, and my work before it is even presented to someone else. Does that make sense?

I think that most people, if honest, will admit that they don't like criticism....who does? What we learn to do, as adults, is to take criticism that is given to us and learn from it. That's the challenge.

[_wenglund]

You need to define what you mean by self-criticism.

I do not lack the ability for honest introspection.

What group should I be responsible to????

The Human group, the Mormon group, The WOMEN's GROUP

The Gay Group??

I have a feeling you a dying to tells us which group we should hold responsible for our difficulties in life.

Go ahead'''''.........BRING IT ON WANGGY

Your "feelings" are precisely 180 degrees WRONG--which you just might come to see if you directly respond to the questions I ask rather than conjuring up some conspiracy on my part.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Yoda]

Anyway, even though you may not be resistent to self-criticism, do you have any thoughts on what it would look like were someone to be resistent to self-criticism and not take personal responsibility for difficulties they experience with others?

I think we're just defining things differently. I'm seeing self-criticism as the ability to criticize one's self. You're seeing self-criticism as the ability to take criticism from someone else about you, personally.

OK....going with your definition....yes, if it is difficult or impossible for someone to receive criticism, then it is going to be harder to own up to their mistakes, and get along with other people.

For what it's worth, I don't think it's wise to be caught up in the victim mode. If someone has wronged you, you do what you can to defend yourself or your reputation, when it's appropriate, and then move on. You own your decisions, and your life is what you make it.

:)

[_Roger Morrison]

Hi Wade, Is that you in the kayak? A water-guy too? I sail. Probably for the same reasons... You say:

The names aren't important. If you would like to respond to my second question (i.e. "what behaviors, attitudes, or characteristics lead you to think this about the individuals or groups you suggested?"), that would be great.

The old saw, "...best defense is an offence..." seems to apply to many individuals, and group representatives. Like a porcupine, the slightest thought of threat and up go the quills. Possibly provoked by a sense of insecurity???

Many/most/some individuals and groups have absolutely no desire or intention to reconsider earlier statements or policies. I can only imagine their reasons for doing so. I cannot imagine there being a usful purpose in such an attitude.

I don't mean to imply such is always expressed in hostility. It might well be stated kindly. However, the message is the same: i/we are/am right. You provide nothing worthy of considerstion... End of discussion...next topic?

Such a state of being is, to me, the epitome of arrogance and the base of ignorance. What do You think? What have You expeienced? Where?

Warm regards, Roger

[_wenglund]

I think, what you may be referring to, Wade, is criticism, rather than self-criticism.

I am the first to admit, that I am resistant to criticism from others, particularly if I really feel I have done my best on something....but...I am very critical of myself. I think that the reason I am resistant to criticism of others at times, is because I am so critical of myself, and my work before it is even presented to someone else. Does that make sense?

I think that most people, if honest, will admit that they don't like criticism....who does? What we learn to do, as adults, is to take criticism that is given to us and learn from it. That's the challenge.

Actually, I am referring to both, but I am focusing more on self-criticism for a reason. And, I am not just talking about self-criticism per se, but open and honest and fair self-criticism. We as human's tend to vasilate between the polar extreems of being too harsh on ourselves and being too easy on ourselves. Neither is open and honest and fair self-criticism.

We as humans also have a tendency to see clearly the faults in others, but are somewhat blind to the same fault in ourselves (the mote and beam as the Savior mentioned).

Inherent within each of us are various self-protective mechanism intended for our survival. Resistence to self-criticism and criticism are, in some ways, one of those self-protective mechanism. However, not always are these self-protective mechanism correctly applied (in terms of intensity and otherwise). And, when incorrectly applied, these protective mechanism can end up doing personal harm and damage. I am exploring this possibility with each of us here.

But, I am getting a wee bit ahead of myself here. For now, do you have any thoughts on what it might look like were an individual or group or organization to be resistent to self-criticism, lack open and honest introspection, and/or fail to accept personal/group responsibility for difficulties they may experience with others? I am trying to create a generic litmus test that we each can openly and honestly apply to ourselves to see if we suffer from these conditions.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_truth dancer]

Hi Wade...

When I say "pretty much everyone" I certainly include myself.

I'm guessing there are less that a few hundred people (of the sixty billion or so humans) who have ever reached a spiritual place where they have totally released the ego. I'm certainly not even remotely close to being one of them! :-)



~dancer~