Runtu wrote:Bowing to customer demand, Clean Flix has announced the availability of a "worthy" version of the recent PBS documentary "The Mormons."
Dean Gunderson, spokesman for the company, explained. "We received hundreds of phone calls from church members who wanted to see the program but had read about the offensive and biased material presented. I believe we, more than anyone, are best equipped to present this material in a fair and balanced way and let the viewers decide."
Gunderson explained that they took as their guiding principle the wise counsel from President Boyd K. Packer: "Some things that are true are not very useful." Said Brother Gunderson, "We looked at each section of the film and prayerfully determined whether it met the criteria of being both useful and uplifting. We're pretty pleased with the outcome."
First, Gunderson's team removed all statements from non-LDS participants. "You could just feel the evil presence whenever they spoke. And I think that one guy was gay." And all references to non-Mormons were removed, especially depictions of polygamists. "Why anyone would associate our church with those nutjobs in Southern Utah is beyond me," said an indignant Gunderson.
After that, they carefully removed that which tears down instead of building up. "Well, all I know is that so-called 'Sister' Flake was not the kind of church member I know. She reeked of bitterness and hostility. And that Islamic scholar, what was he doing there? When my kids saw the word 'Islam' on the screen, they got scared. Plus he was saying all that nonsense about stones in hats, like we really believe that."
Clean Flix also removed offensive visuals. "I couldn't believe it. They made New England look like a bleak wasteland, like this was some R-rated horror movie. It had to go. Avoid the appearance of evil, I always say," said Gunderson.
A spokesperson for PBS expressed outrage at the edits: "They took a beautiful and informative documentary and reduced it to a 3-minute monologue from Terryl Givens."
Responded Gunderson, "Yes, and aren't those 3 glorious minutes?"
Hilarious, dude. You're good at this.
Two thumbs up!