'Go pick up a Bible'

[Moksha]

Mike Johnson of Louisiana, told Fox News his worldview was: “Go pick up a Bible.”

With Republicans trying to push something as odious as fascism, you would think they would seek out a golden-tongued orator to deliver the sewage.

[yellowstone123]

It’s nothing like I was taught in the LDS church. Just like Nelson only talks about todays issues, the Bible authors talk about the issues of their day. If I said Israel and Syria forming a pact to destroy Judah, a learned person would point to Isaiah chapter 1-39. After some Jews return after Cyrus released them we have chapter 40. If you want to learn about Jesus Christ in the Bible go to the New Testament.

[huckelberry]

It's a where from the Handmaid's Tale.

Oh.

Am I the only one who didn’t know that?

the reference totally missed me.

[The Stig]

It's a where from the Handmaid's Tale.

Oh.

Am I the only one who didn’t know that?

Looks like it.

[Kishkumen]

This asshole would turn us into Gilead.

Indeed. The Bible is a portable library of Jewish and Early Christian writings, many of which contradict each other, not a "worldview." Either he is unconscious of having a worldview, or he is being dishonest. My guess is the latter. His worldview might be best summed up as "apocalyptic American Christo-fascist who holds up the Bible as a powerful totem."

[Kishkumen]

He doesn't really believe the Bible that much. People who say "go read the Bible" or "go read the constitution" or anything else without any kind of serious explanation are just using accepted standards of authority such as they are within a community as a blank check to cover whatever they want to believe that day. And what they believe that day can completely contradict what they believe the next day, no problem.

Spot on.

[Kishkumen]

With Republicans trying to push something as odious as fascism, you would think they would seek out a golden-tongued orator to deliver the sewage.

They just want someone bleedingly obvious to ensure that their ignoramus followers can follow the simple math.

[Philo Sofee]

With Republicans trying to push something as odious as fascism, you would think they would seek out a golden-tongued orator to deliver the sewage.

They just want someone bleedingly obvious to ensure that their ignoramus followers can follow the simple math.

Their math is along the lines of 1 + 1 = 3 sometimes doesn't it? But then again, depending on how the answer helps us out and not the country, we would go with it being equal to 53 sometimes. We can always take away 10 and make 1 + 1 come to 8 when necessary. We can even forbid legislation when it comes to 69. We only get to that answer privately in our own homes...

[canpakes]

So, Speaker Johnson's beliefs include:
Talking Donkeys
The earth is just 6,000 years old
There was a global flood
God unleashes she-bears to kill about 40 young people for making fun of a prophet for being bald
A staff turning into a snake
The water of the Nile River being turned to blood
God forbid and then punished Eve (and Adam) for wanting knowledge
Jonah survived being swallowed by a whale
God would test his follower by demanding that he cut off his only son's head
God let Esau's birthright pass to Jacob based on Jacob's deception of Isaac
Etc.

To be fair, the ‘6000 year old Earth’ isn’t a Biblical thing, but something calculated out by that Ussher fellow in the midst of a terrific hangover, after a night of heavy mead consumption and partying with the nuns. It has since been glommed on to by fundamentalists and evangelicals, just because.

But, if we have to strike it from the list, we can always substitute the tale of Jephthah‘s daughter for that one.

[Dr. Sunstoned]

Only if you follow the silly literalist fundamentalists. Why do that?

Ask Speaker Johnson. He’s the one who said he believes it.

He was key in getting funding for the giant ass Noah's ark theme park.