Reasons people stopped attending church

[drumdude]

The irony of Dan quoting this scripture to a fellow Mormon over at the Sick et Non:

Not lie? Second Watson letter. Not have malice? Goulash over Bill Maher's head? Not contend with another? I present Gemli.

كل ديك على مزبلته

[SaturdaysVoyeur]

Most people I know who stopped going to church tell me it just didn’t/doesn’t bring them joy.

Yeah. When did the church stop being any fun?!?

That's not why I left. I just want to know.

Growing up in flyover country, our stake was far-flung. So, my memories of youth stake activities are numerous and full of giddy excitement. Mutual activities usually meant Mom taking me out to buy some dowdy new frock that I thought was perfect. In the era of grunge and goth, I was thrilled with Laura Ashley floral prints past my knees and gigantic bows in my hair.

When I was about 15-16, Mom bought me my first pair of open-toed sandals with a barely-there wedge heel, and my father lost his mind. Luckily for me, girl-stuff was usually left to Mom's discretion. My scandalously-revealed toes went completed unnoticed by the church leaders chaperoning the activity.

There was some sort of social event at church almost every week, especially during the summer. Since I had grown up with the boys in my ward, dating any of them would have felt incestuous, so stake activities were a chance to check out the potential dating pool. There were unisex overnight lock-ins at the stake center. (We could wear makeup to those!) We had our version of Girls Camp, and even a really lame version of trek. (I've since heard that trek everywhere is lame.)

My parents still attend the same ward, and these days, they're lucky if there's a Christmas party (sometimes held over Zoom, even post-Covid), which makes it even less of a party.

There's maybe one stake picnic over the summer and the last time I went, even the little kids were bored out of their minds. There was nothing to do. No games organized. One kid brought a Frisbee and somebody brought a beach ball that went flat immediately.

My mother and sister tried to wave it off as, "Times are tight. There's just no extra money for those kinds of activities."

BS! The church is sitting on a bazillion dollars! Slumber parties and teen dances with a bowl of punch don't cost anything!

This had nothing to do with why I left, because those activities were still going on when I left. Presumably, I could have looked forward to more had a I chosen to go to BYU.

But those kind of activities contribute to socialization. For a kid, they ensure your closest friends and any potential dates will be with other Mormons. It's what made the church a community.

Now, it's just sit there for hours on Sunday, pay your 10%, and the callings are all stressful drudgery that no one really wants to do, and many of them ought to be handled by a paid professional (like, cleaning the church---that's a social activity now??) Or balancing the ward budget---oh, wait, they don't HAVE a ward budget anymore!

I don't know when it happened exactly, but at some point all the parts of Mormonism I thought were fun, and that my parents thought were fun, stopped happening.

[Moksha]

Goulash over Bill Maher's head?

Tell us more, please.

[Rivendale]

Goulash over Bill Maher's head?

Tell us more, please.

Thought crimes count in Mormonism.

Several years ago, seated at an open air café in Vienna, I found myself only a few feet away from Bill Maher. I’m not, to put it mildly, a fan of his. I don’t even think he’s particularly funny, just mildly clever and strikingly shallow And he’s been quite vicious in his mockery of my religious beliefs. But, even though I had a plate of Hungarian goulash in front of me that would obviously have looked very nice dripping from his head and even though the thought did admittedly cross my mind, I found it easy to resist the temptation, and I didn’t even say anything to him.)

[huckelberry]

Tell us more, please.

Thought crimes count in Mormonism.

Several years ago, seated at an open air café in Vienna, I found myself only a few feet away from Bill Maher. I’m not, to put it mildly, a fan of his. I don’t even think he’s particularly funny, just mildly clever and strikingly shallow And he’s been quite vicious in his mockery of my religious beliefs. But, even though I had a plate of Hungarian goulash in front of me that would obviously have looked very nice dripping from his head and even though the thought did admittedly cross my mind, I found it easy to resist the temptation, and I didn’t even say anything to him.)

This sort of terrible thing about Daniel Peterson inclines me to like him at least a little bit and in truth I do have some resistance to liking the fellow.

[Dr. Sunstoned]

I first stepped away because of Prop 8. I stopped going or taking my kids entirely because of the infamous November Policy.

Before all of this, however, I found it difficult to want to go to church because it was so terribly boring and time-consuming. It was like attending a series of business meetings that were run very poorly by people who were not competent at their jobs. All of the interminable droning on with the latest corporate jargon blather. Ugh. Not interested.

THIS. November 2015 was the final straw for me. After the POX was made public, one of my LGBTQ students came into my office very distraught. His family had kicked him out of their home because of the hard stand taken by the church. That day, I contacted quitmormon and started the process. On a positive note, the university had several support programs that helped the student secure emergency housing.

[sock puppet]

Tell us more, please.

Thought crimes count in Mormonism.

Several years ago, seated at an open air café in Vienna, I found myself only a few feet away from Bill Maher. I’m not, to put it mildly, a fan of his. I don’t even think he’s particularly funny, just mildly clever and strikingly shallow And he’s been quite vicious in his mockery of my religious beliefs. But, even though I had a plate of Hungarian goulash in front of me that would obviously have looked very nice dripping from his head and even though the thought did admittedly cross my mind, I found it easy to resist the temptation, and I didn’t even say anything to him.)

Well, it was Vienna. But, when I was in Hungary, goulash (which I had on 3 occasions there) resembled a fairly thin-brothed stew. Perhaps a soup. It was not served on plates, but in bowls.

[I Have Questions]

Tell us more, please.

Thought crimes count in Mormonism.

Several years ago, seated at an open air café in Vienna, I found myself only a few feet away from Bill Maher. I’m not, to put it mildly, a fan of his. I don’t even think he’s particularly funny, just mildly clever and strikingly shallow And he’s been quite vicious in his mockery of my religious beliefs. But, even though I had a plate of Hungarian goulash in front of me that would obviously have looked very nice dripping from his head and even though the thought did admittedly cross my mind, I found it easy to resist the temptation, and I didn’t even say anything to him.)[/quote

Whilst a youth at Church we were always taught that thinking about doing something ("licking a cupcake" was the topic) is as bad as actually doing it in the eyes of the Lord. It is to be hoped that Peterson has resolved the Goulash Incident with his Priesthood Leaders...

[The Stig]

My reason for ceasing to attend church is simple - it's all a fraud.

[Chap]

Most people I know who stopped going to church tell me it just didn’t/doesn’t bring them joy.

Yeah. When did the church stop being any fun?!?
[...]

More importantly, why did the authorities of the CoJCoLDS decide to STOP it being fun? Because it looks like a conscious decision to me. Did they not realise that providing a rich, varied and totally LDS social life for its members of all ages was the best way they could tie both young and old members into the church?

Or may be they now have so much money that they just don't care if the members leave in droves?