Giving and Taking Offense

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_moksha
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Post by _moksha »

sailgirl7 wrote:
wenglund wrote:
With that having been said, I respectfully bid you adieu.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-


It wasn't a request- it was a statement.


Is Wade going somewhere?

by the way Sailgirl, you are right KA is a caring and generous person. Of course, Wade is a nice person too. They just have conflicting views.
Wishing you the best.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
_wenglund
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Post by _wenglund »

moksha wrote:Is Wade going somewhere?


Yes. I am heading out of state in the morning, and I am now going to pack so as to be ready.

by the way Sailgirl, you are right KA is a caring and generous person. Of course, Wade is a nice person too. They just have conflicting views. Wishing you the best.


That was kind of you to say.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
_barrelomonkeys
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Post by _barrelomonkeys »

Scottie wrote:
But I think I graduated high school almost 2 decades ago. If I like KA, that doesn't mean I can't like Wade too.



Ditto.


Well less than 2 decades ago, but other than that; ditto.
_sailgirl7
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Post by _sailgirl7 »

barrelomonkeys wrote:
Scottie wrote:
But I think I graduated high school almost 2 decades ago. If I like KA, that doesn't mean I can't like Wade too.



Ditto.


Well less than 2 decades ago, but other than that; ditto.


Good- and noone is saying we can't like everyone! But what does that mean exactly?

Moksha
by the way Sailgirl, you are right KA is a caring and generous person. Of course, Wade is a nice person too. They just have conflicting views.
Wishing you the best.


Why would a person have a list of people they know are kind and good and yet ignore them or personally attack them because they disagree with their views?

Apparently I'm too young or immature to understand that.
_KimberlyAnn
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Post by _KimberlyAnn »

sailgirl7 wrote:Why would a person have a list of people they know are kind and good and yet ignore them or personally attack them because they disagree with their views?

Apparently I'm too young or immature to understand that.


Hi, Sailgirl.

I so appreciate your sweetness in standing up for me, but really, don't worry about it. Because I do not like Wade doesn't mean I expect others to dislike him. Perhaps they haven't endured his ad homenim attacks like I have and so have no reason at all to hold anything against him. To me, his condescending attitude is glaringly obvious, but we all have different perceptions.

For some reason, Wade personally attacked me on the very first thread I started on this board many months ago. The post was about the Licked Cupcake lessons I had in Young Women's, and for some reason, it really upset Wade, although there was no personal attack made toward him at all! Here's a portion of what he had to say to me on my very first post:

If you really think carefully about this, you will realize that it isn't the Church that is giving women a bad name, but women such as yourself who spew this kind of nonsense.

Please, for everyone's sake, get a grip on yourself and reality. Set aside your dysfunctional feminist agenda, and begin to adopt healthy and functional strategies that will result in mutual love, respect, and value. Stop looking at the Church as the cause for your problems, and begin to earnestly and honestly introspect. In other words, focus not on what you think the Church is saying about women, but instead focus on being the best woman you can be, and act lovingly and respectful and in ways that are valued, and the same will more likely be returned to you.


Thankfully, Runtu, Jason Bourne and others came to my defense. This was my thank you to them:

Thank you, Jason. And you, too, Runtu, for coming to my defense. I realized when I posted this essay there would be Mormons who wouldn't agree with my assessment of the treatment of females in Mormonism or my interpretation of the Licked Cupcake lesson. I was surprised that someone would say I give women a bad name. Or that I don't have a grip on myself or reality and that I do not behave in ways that are loving or respectful. I am far from perfect, but I can say with assurity that even the Mormons who know me in real life do not believe I'm an embarrassment to women or give women a bad name. Wade must be psychic to make such judgments of someone via an internet message board - especially with only one post as evidence! I say he's wasting his time kayaking around when he could be raking in the big bucks as the next Mr. Cleo.


Wade never apologized for assuming, after my first post, that I gave women a bad name. He later called me irrational and a whole host of other insulting things. Wade has consistently replied to my nearly every post saying that I misinterpret everything or am cognitively impaired or hysterical - and he always does it with his standard false sincerity and condescending, preachy tone.

I'm nothing but thankful that he will be ignoring me in the future. I wish he'd ignored me from the get-go and have asked him to do so repeatedly. I'm getting my wish and I'm glad!

I imagine Wade is probably a decent, generous guy in real life, but he's never been that way to me on this board and I'm glad to be rid of him.

I think you're a doll, Sailgirl. Don't worry yourself one more minute over Wade or me. Just enjoy the board when you're not enjoying your babies. :)

KA
_barrelomonkeys
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Post by _barrelomonkeys »

sailgirl7 wrote:
Good- and noone is saying we can't like everyone! But what does that mean exactly?


It means that I recognize good people can disagree and fuss, and yes even hurt each other, without me having to take sides.

A week ago? More? Coggins and Tarski were huffing over global warming. I actually disagree with them both politically. Tarski was called a commie by Coggins. Coggins was being taunted by Tarski. I actually like both of these people. They were both acting poorly imho... which is something I can't quite figure out because they both are quite a bit older than me. Nevertheless both were being incredibly hateful in their posts. So... did I have to take sides? Did I recognize that these two could probably work it out? Or not? And it had nothing really to do with me? Yah. I did and do recognize that.

Same thing here with Wade and KA. I do actually see some of KA's posts as focusing purely on the negative aspects of the Church... not to say these criticisms aren't valid but to be perfectly honest I could see how it would offend a TBM. I also see some of Wade's potshots and snide remarks veiled in kindness. I also see KA as a very caring, honest, person that has issues with her past that she desires to vent on this board. I likewise see that Wade has a reason for being here. I just don't feel it necessary to take a side when I see no real victim. Is KA perfectly capable of taking care of herself? I would say she is very competent in that regard.

So. Hope that answers your question and my take on the situation.

Why would a person have a list of people they know are kind and good and yet ignore them or personally attack them because they disagree with their views?

Apparently I'm too young or immature to understand that.


Who has a list?
_moksha
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Post by _moksha »

sailgirl7 wrote: Why would a person have a list of people they know are kind and good and yet ignore them or personally attack them because they disagree with their views?

Apparently I'm too young or immature to understand that.


Truly understanding human behavior is beyond my grasp. Just enjoy your youth.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
_sailgirl7
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Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:51 pm

Post by _sailgirl7 »

barrelomonkeys wrote:
sailgirl7 wrote:
Good- and noone is saying we can't like everyone! But what does that mean exactly?


It means that I recognize good people can disagree and fuss, and yes even hurt each other, without me having to take sides.

A week ago? More? Coggins and Tarski were huffing over global warming. I actually disagree with them both politically. Tarski was called a commie by Coggins. Coggins was being taunted by Tarski. I actually like both of these people. They were both acting poorly imho... which is something I can't quite figure out because they both are quite a bit older than me. Nevertheless both were being incredibly hateful in their posts. So... did I have to take sides? Did I recognize that these two could probably work it out? Or not? And it had nothing really to do with me? Yah. I did and do recognize that.

Same thing here with Wade and KA. I do actually see some of KA's posts as focusing purely on the negative aspects of the Church... not to say these criticisms aren't valid but to be perfectly honest I could see how it would offend a TBM. I also see some of Wade's potshots and snide remarks veiled in kindness. I also see KA as a very caring, honest, person that has issues with her past that she desires to vent on this board. I likewise see that Wade has a reason for being here. I just don't feel it necessary to take a side when I see no real victim. Is KA perfectly capable of taking care of herself? I would say she is very competent in that regard.

So. Hope that answers your question and my take on the situation.

Why would a person have a list of people they know are kind and good and yet ignore them or personally attack them because they disagree with their views?

Apparently I'm too young or immature to understand that.


Who has a list?

Everyone,

I'm sorry for all the offense I have given by the way I tried standing up for something. I must admit the only reason I even said something at all was because of a very recent experience in real life that happened between me and KA that none of you know anything about. Therefore, because of my gratitude about what just happened with that- I was feeling very defensive about people saying things to her that I didn't like. I didn't feel like I was trying to "take sides" as much as I just wanted to say somehow that I didn't think her harsh treatment was deserved. Knowing what I knew- I didn't feel right about keeping silent. But of course hindsight is 20/20 and next time- I'll be more clear in my wording to make sure people don't think I'm just some childish idiot trying to take sides because I like or don't like someone. I actually agree with some things Wade says and disagree with some things KA says- so it's not just a simple "take sides' issue for me. If people would know the whole story perhaps things would make more sense.


This is where Wade said he had a list of people he doesn't want to interact with.

However, for those, such as yourself and Beastie, who were not open in this way, nothing has changed, nor do I expect that they will. You and others have and will likely continue to view me as summed up above. I have come to accept this, and have determined to restrict, to some degree, my interactions with you (with some posters I have restricted my interaction with them completely--Kimberlyann having been recently added to that list).

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
Bold added.

In my reply I stated that perhaps he will add me to his list of people he would ignore because of saying what I did about KA. Of course that is exactly what he did to me, despite not ever interacting with me before. He bid me "adieu". I told him it wasn't a request it was a statement because I knew he would do that and wouldn't like what I had to say.

So then some want to emphasis that Wade is such a great guy. That's fine- I just want to be clear that it wasn't me who said I would ignore him.

And I know KA can "take care of herself"- I wasn't trying to say she couldn't- it was just the principle of the thing based on my recent experience. So I guess I need a serious break from this place because I am becoming all the bad things that I don't want to be. I really do like all of you, even Wade- I've learned a lot and have been impressed with how smart and nice everyone is. I guess I just need to figure out if I have a point here anymore.
_sailgirl7
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Post by _sailgirl7 »

moksha wrote:
Truly understanding human behavior is beyond my grasp. Just enjoy your youth.


It's beyond me too- thanks Moksha- you are awesome! :-)
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

sailgirl wrote:I'll be more clear in my wording to make sure people don't think I'm just some childish idiot trying to take sides because I like or don't like someone.


I certainly don't think that you're a childish idiot, and I rather doubt anyone else here does, either.

I also have a problem with ad hominems being thrown around simply because one person disagrees with another person's stance.

It would be in everyone's best interest to be able to "agree to disagree" on certain issues.
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