Calling Thayne, Can I Help With NOM?

[_Lemmie]

Most of us who've migrated over here wouldn't be considered fragile bunnies or middle way seekers. We are simply married to Mormons who have no interest in checking the church's diaper for poo poo even when it's obvious the pampers are full and the moisture absorbing gelatin is starting to get all over the place.

ah, that takes me back!!!! The first day I attended church after my first baby was born, my husband was made a part of the bishopric. After 3 hours of meetings, and then another meeting for his calling, my barely 3 week old (because yes, you obey and go to church with a newborn when your husband is getting a calling from the stake president) objected and projectile-vomited on an eight foot long table, splashing every single priesthood holder's suit jacket, from one end to the other. The stake president was gracious, but I caught holy heck on the way home from my ass of a soon-to-be-ex-husband, wanting to know why I couldn't 'control' my baby in 'the most important meeting of his life.'

So yes, NOMmers, I can relate. You're definitely not the fragile bunnies mentalgymnast has apparently pegged you as. Welcome.

[_Jersey Girl]

Most of us who've migrated over here wouldn't be considered fragile bunnies or middle way seekers. We are simply married to Mormons who have no interest in checking the church's diaper for poo poo even when it's obvious the pampers are full and the moisture absorbing gelatin is starting to get all over the place.

NOM provided the community where we could all laugh and cry about the absurdity of waking up in this twilight zone. Where penguins could lie down with Tapirs while Kermit the Frog serenaded us with wisdom and Gay depeche mode loving cowboys would stop in to say hi and prop up the weak and feeble.

It's complicated living with a Mormon when all you want to do is walk away from burlap walls, blessed donuts, and funny underwear. NOM is/was the tightrope we walk. Sure it would probably be easier to just step off and move on, but when you have hope and can see the other side, it provides an illusion that maybe someday things will normalize or the church will implode and becoming Amish is a better alternative.

We've had plenty of NOMs on this board, some of them have been long running MDB posters, though I don't see them posting right now. We all understand what your position is, trust me. There are just as many posters here on MDB who would disagree with your position as there are those who would understand why you need to maintain it. There are also many exLDS here who love family members who remain active, and some of those are spouses.

I'm sorry that you all lost your home board. I know what that's like. We're happy to have you here on MDB if you'd like to set up camp with us. Remember, you can still talk to each other via private messages, too.

[_Jersey Girl]

Where penguins could lie down with Tapirs while Kermit the Frog serenaded us with wisdom and Gay depeche mode loving cowboys would stop in to say hi and prop up the weak and feeble.

I'm pretty sure that some of your posters are crossover posters here on MDB.

I don't know about Gay depeche loving cowboys, but I can commiserate my butt off like a boss!

[_Amore]

They are better able to find support there and express their concerns and issues without being pounced on by over eager debaters.

Yes, I just had a little confrontation from Lemmie - based on some NOM comments I made (trying to live with a Mormon spouse). Lemmie and others - please chill out. Not everybody wants to be challenged on every thing - especially when sharing about personal problems. by the way, I did have that thread in Celestial forum, but it was moved to the other.

NOM is more about how to live with still-believing loved ones after your beliefs have changed, for whatever reason. It's also a place to blow off a little steam when those people aren't so sympathetic to those of us who feel the need to graduate from our former mindset in one way or another.

I could see Celestial forum being used for NOM. Posters here rarely go on there, so it's a bit safer place to have NOM discussions, in my opinion. And again, hopefully, people here will be more respectful to other perspectives and experiences.

[_Jersey Girl]

This. All of this.

NOM was just the space that felt like home to many-- even if it was a temporary home.

It feels like I've survived an earthquake, but just lost my tent & Red Cross care package. I do appreciate the warm welcome and inclusion from everyone here at MD.

The first board I was on for years, was going to go offline. The posters actually bought it from the owner. That's how much we cared about it at the time. I get where you're coming from since it sounds like NOM was a unique support system for you all.

I think there are many posters here who can identify with your position. I'm pretty sure that many MDB posters tried the middle way before they exited completely.

I wish you all well. Stick around if you feel you can!

[_Lemmie]

They are better able to find support there and express their concerns and issues without being pounced on by over eager debaters.

Yes, I just had a little confrontation from Lemmie - based on some NOM comments I made (trying to live with a Mormon spouse). Lemmie and others - please chill out. Not everybody wants to be challenged on every thing - especially when sharing about personal problems. by the way, I did have that thread in Celestial forum, but it was moved to the other.

hi Amore. Is this my post that you found confrontational?

agreed. also as a mother, may I respectfully say the mixed messages they are getting may not be helping them? Also, have you considered what message is a child getting when their father 'shushes' their mother? no offense intended, I am definitely on your side, but have you considered what this situation teaches children about how people should be treated?

My apologies, I bolded the parts of my post where I specifically intended it to be NON-confrontational, but I'm sorry it still wasn't clear enough.

I certainly didn't consider that a confrontation, but I respect your opinion. In the future, maybe you could just note right up front that you prefer responses to your OP to only be supportive, with no disagreeing opinion expressed.

Personally, I think you're missing out on a tremendous opportunity to hear from others who have been in your exact position, but it is certainly your right and prerogative to request that.

[_mentalgymnast]

Yes, I just had a little confrontation from Lemmie - based on some NOM comments I made (trying to live with a Mormon spouse). Lemmie and others - please chill out. Not everybody wants to be challenged on every thing...

In other words's, some folks that are NOM's would just as well have a conversation. An informal exchange of ideas. Without a great degree/deal of pressure to perform and/or prove and/or score points.

Again, I think that this forum...the way that it is now...is somewhat inhospitable towards many NOM's. Some of the hardcore disbelievers that would come here from NOM are going to fall right into line, but the softcore/questioning types would find this place unattractive and/or very uncomfortable.

Regards,
MG

[Guest]

Yes, I just had a little confrontation from Lemmie - based on some NOM comments I made (trying to live with a Mormon spouse). Lemmie and others - please chill out. Not everybody wants to be challenged on every thing...

In other words's, some folks that are NOM's would just as well have a conversation. An informal exchange of ideas. Without a great degree/deal of pressure to perform and/or prove and/or score points.

Again, I think that this forum...the way that it is now...is somewhat inhospitable towards many NOM's. Some of the hardcore disbelievers that would come here from NOM are going to fall right into line, but the softcore/questioning types would find this place unattractive and/or very uncomfortable.

Regards,
MG

Sure, your typically poor thought process has lead you to blow right past my apology to Amore and also to turn a blind eye on all of the other posters who stated they weren't fragile bunnies, to pick out one little out of context piece to support your already thoroughly refuted position.

You are so obvious, mg.

[_Jersey Girl]

In other words's, some folks that are NOM's would just as well have a conversation. An informal exchange of ideas. Without a great degree/deal of pressure to perform and/or prove and/or score points.

Again, I think that this forum...the way that it is now...is somewhat inhospitable towards many NOM's. Some of the hardcore disbelievers that would come here from NOM are going to fall right into line, but the softcore/questioning types would find this place unattractive and/or very uncomfortable.

Regards,
MG

IGNORE the folks you don't want to interact with. How much easier could it possibly be?

[_Jersey Girl]

mg,

If you can't actively ignore the folks you don't want to interact with use the ignore feature.

mentalgymnast
God
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How much more accommodating could this place possibly be?