LDS Sexuality

[_ajax18]

None of the ladies back then got an education, cuz they did not need one.

Getting an education is fine, but I think everyone should have to work at least long enough to pay their loans back.

[_Gazelam]

One of the points of the gospel is learning to excercise control over temporal things, including the temtations that arise through the flesh.

Remember Christ walking on water? Changing water to wine, healing, resurrecting the dead? that's excercising control over temporal things.

We have been granted the ability and desire to create life. The bounds that have been placed on that power is that it is only to be used withen the confines of the marriage covenant. Sexual relations in the marriage covenant are righteous and wholesome and exalting, especially due to the fact that they are emulating God in creating and nurturing life and dealing with the outcome of their actions in a righteous manner.

Sexual relations outside of these boundries are damaging in many ways, and represent irresponsibility and an inability to overcome temporal matter.

Great talk on Chastity: http://w2.byuh.edu/academics/religion/EM/Tagg/WI%2006/Of%20Souls,%20Symbols%20and%20Sacraments.pdf

[_aussieguy55]

Have any studies been done on LDS women to see if they report sexual satisfaction in marriage? Some reports of Evangelical women report higher levels of satifaction.Maybe as one evangelical psychologist reported where couples prayed together there was reported more satisfaction. Donald Joy's books on Bonding and Rebonding talk about this issue. Would LDS frown on couples having a shower together, massaging, have someone babysit the kids so they can geta way for the weekend? I think all this would be acceptable in God's eyes as its something that helps draw a couple closer together. If sex was only for children why have sex after menopause?

[_Jason Bourne]

You're kidding me, you didn't have to mention masturbation as a missionary?

No. I did many many baptism interviews using the listed questions and there was not, and is not, a specific question about masturbation.

[_Analytics]

No. I did many many baptism interviews using the listed questions and there was not, and is not, a specific question about masturbation.

Jason is right. We didn't ask specifically about it in 89-90 in th Missionary Guide days, and the missionaries don't ask about it now, either. The actual questions they ask are here:

http://www.lds4u.com/Discussions/Interview.htm

[_ajax18]

Thank you for the link. It must have been an order from the misison president that we ask about that. Some missionaries asked about it early on in the discussions, but every elder had to ask about it in the interview. I'm not making this up. I'm just relating how it was. It was actually a funny story. My trainer had to interview an old lady who couldn't hear very well, so he basically had to shout the questions to the top of his lungs. I'm sure everyone on the block could hear that interview. "Como le ha ido con la masturbacion?"

I also noticed the, "Have you ever attempted to commit suicide quesiton," was not there anymore. I wonder if I could find what we had to ask from 95-97. We also had to ask about bestiality since this was common practice in Colombia. Something tells me that the mission president had the authority to change a lot of this. About a year into my mission, were told to not even talk to homosexuals and not to ask the president to baptize them. He said that too many homosexuals had fallen back into their old ways after baptism and he wasn't going to risk it anymore.

Masturbation was a constant question at every interview I had with the MP as well. He even gave statistics in his zone conference on how many sisters were masturbating. I must say that zone conference wasn't boring.

[_Dr. Shades]

Masturbation was a constant question at every interview I had with the MP as well. He even gave statistics in his zone conference on how many sisters were masturbating. I must say that zone conference wasn't boring.

WTF??? If the sisters were masturbating right there in zone conference, I bet it wasn't boring!

[_harmony]

Thank you for the link. It must have been an order from the misison president that we ask about that. Some missionaries asked about it early on in the discussions, but every elder had to ask about it in the interview. I'm not making this up. I'm just relating how it was. It was actually a funny story. My trainer had to interview an old lady who couldn't hear very well, so he basically had to shout the questions to the top of his lungs. I'm sure everyone on the block could hear that interview. "Como le ha ido con la masturbacion?"

I also noticed the, "Have you ever attempted to commit suicide quesiton," was not there anymore. I wonder if I could find what we had to ask from 95-97. We also had to ask about bestiality since this was common practice in Colombia. Something tells me that the mission president had the authority to change a lot of this. About a year into my mission, were told to not even talk to homosexuals and not to ask the president to baptize them. He said that too many homosexuals had fallen back into their old ways after baptism and he wasn't going to risk it anymore.

Masturbation was a constant question at every interview I had with the MP as well. He even gave statistics in his zone conference on how many sisters were masturbating. I must say that zone conference wasn't boring.

Sounds to me like your MP had an unhealthy obsession with everyone else's sexuality. Makes me wonder if he suffered from ED.

[_Jason Bourne]

Ajax,

I think your MP was wacky. Masturbation stats???? How many sisters did it? Holy crap!!!

[_beastie]

The masturbation ban was not specifically mentioned to me as an investigator. It came up at "worthiness interviews". The first time was when I wanted to get a patriarchal blessing. I was shocked when the bishop asked me about it. I didn't even know it was a "no-no".

Youth, of course, have been exposed to this teaching all along, so it's not a surprise like it would be to an investigator like me, who hadn't been through the church educational system.

Most of the purity talks, so to speak, take place in lessons for teenagers, but it certainly doesn't stop there. Chastity and purity is mentioned in general. Relief Society and Priesthood does continue to have a certain number of single members, so they have to be encouraged to stay virginal. In addition, one of the most serious parental responsibilities is teaching one's children to be chaste. So it continues to be stressed, although not as directly as for the teens.

Married members ARE asked if they live the law of chastity. Perhaps how that is interpreted depends on the area and time period, but if you were someone, like me, who had lived through the "no oral sex" phase, and had been taught how bad masturbation was, then you can guess that the question might not just mean "are you committing adultery?" In fact, church leaders have made it plain that marital sex should also stay within certain limits, it's just that the limits have not always been strictly defined.

I took it all so seriously that I honestly wondered if I should confess any sexual fantasies I may have inadvertently had, although I did my best to avoid them altogether. I don't think it is humanly possible to avoid them 100%. And since some sexual acts between married adults may still involve touching oneself, it is not unreasonable for a married Mormon to wonder if that's ok, too.

Look, for example, at this excerpt from a Relief Society Lesson:

Living The Law of Chastity

Live the law of chastity more perfectly than you have ever done it before, by thinking pure thoughts. Remember what the Master stated, “It was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:27–28). Now, our thoughts must be pure. Overcome any habits that you may have that have a tendency to immoral acts, and forbid the immorality that otherwise would blight your lives. 7

For a child of God, and particularly one bearing the priesthood and having been active in the Church, to consider his God-given gift of creative powers as a mere plaything or that his association with his sweetheart is primarily for the satisfying of his lustful appetite is to play the game of Satan, who knows that such conduct is the sure way to destroy in one the refinement necessary to receive the companionship of the Spirit of the Lord. 16

Can you see how some of these vaguer comments can be interpreted by someone anxious to please God?

This link leads to other teachings about chastity in general, and within marriage, including a link to a photocopy of the 1982 letter from the Church Presidency banning oral sex, even between married couples:

http://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/mormon_oral_sex.htm