Panic! At the Interview: Bishop's Office Horrors

[_Runtu]

Somebody apparently doesn't grasp the important and obvious (as well as ironic) distinction between putting something into proper perspective and "invalidating" it.

But, again, it's not worth quibbling about. To each their own.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Or perhaps someone went so far in putting something in perspective that they dismissed and invalidated someone else's experience as faux-victimhood designed to "smear" the church.

Wade, I think I've come to a better and perhaps more charitable understanding of you, but this kind of stuff really bugs me. I'm faced with two alternatives: either you're intentionally trying to minimize others' experience, or you really don't recognize what you're doing.

I hope it's the latter. (And no, it's not that we're "misreading" you, Wade.)

[_Scottie]

I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?

It doesn't matter except that there are creepy people out there who want to hear a hot young women give up every little thing she's ever done, in graphic detail so they can get their rocks off in some way. They're called perverts, and they're immune to the power of discernment.

Although I hear this all the time from ex-mo's, I have NEVER met a bishop that fits this description. Every bishop I've ever known has been the salt of the earth.

[_Runtu]

Although I hear this all the time from ex-mo's, I have NEVER met a bishop that fits this description. Every bishop I've ever known has been the salt of the earth.

Mine have for the most part been wonderful men, salt of the earth, you might say. Yes, I had a couple of bishops who seemed a little, um, obsessed with sex, and they were indeed rather creepy. But out of perhaps 20 bishops in my life, that's only 2.

[_Yoda]

Mine have for the most part been wonderful men, salt of the earth, you might say. Yes, I had a couple of bishops who seemed a little, um, obsessed with sex, and they were indeed rather creepy. But out of perhaps 20 bishops in my life, that's only 2.

The problem is, it only takes 1 to traumatize someone.

[_Runtu]

The problem is, it only takes 1 to traumatize someone.

Yeah, but what's a little teenage trauma compared to Rwandan genocide? What a bunch of whiners.

[_Scottie]

I recently saw the movie "Blood Diamond", and was horrified by the all the rapes and murders and heart-wrenching deprevation and devistation taking place in Africa over highly compressed carbon.

I also watched "Flight 93" and other documentaries on 9/11, and was deeply sadden by the death and tragedy of that event, and the subsequent escallating loss of precious life in the war on terror.

I am somewhat familiar, too, with the Cambodian "killing Fields" and the large-scale genocides (in the millions) undertaken by Hitler, Stalen, Pol Pot, and others.

Then, I read here about Kimberlyann's tale of woes in being tramatized in her youth by chewing gum analogies and Bishop interviews regarding French kissing.

I don't know about any of you, but it kind of puts things into perspective and causes me to reflect more carefully about whether I have picked a worthy cause and have chosen my battles well. With all the enormous challenges facing people throughout the world, I wonder what in the hell are we doing wasting our time obsessing about relatively trivial things that occured years ago?

I guess for some, though, no supposed victimization is too small to consider when feeding one's religious prejudice.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Wade, this is akin to saying, "Those people have millions of dollars. How DARE they say they have problems in their lives? Why, if they had MY problems, they couldn't handle it!!" or "You have no idea how good you have it. How dare you get depressed!"

Everything must be viewed in a lens of personal experience. Of course KA's problem (or my worst problem, for that matter) doesn't hold a candle to some poor orphan in Africa that now has AIDS because she had to prostitute herself in order to buy food. Does that make KA's feelings any less valid? Absolutely not!! In her world view, this was a very traumatic experience, and she should be allowed to share her feelings openly.

I hate it when people think that just because we have it better than someone else that we shouldn't complain at all.

[_The Nehor]

I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?

It doesn't matter except that there are creepy people out there who want to hear a hot young women give up every little thing she's ever done, in graphic detail so they can get their rocks off in some way. They're called perverts, and they're immune to the power of discernment.

Although I hear this all the time from ex-mo's, I have NEVER met a bishop that fits this description. Every bishop I've ever known has been the salt of the earth.

My experience also, I've never met one who I thought at all would ever want to hear it. The ones I've talked to strongly dislike that part of their job. My female friends who have told me about experiences with confessing sin never accuse the Bishop of anything. The most common thing they share is that they cried and he cried some with them and then helped them.

[_wenglund]

Then, I read here about Kimberlyann's tale of woes in being tramatized in her youth by chewing gum analogies and Bishop interviews regarding French kissing.

I don't know about any of you, but it kind of puts things into perspective and causes me to reflect more carefully about whether I have picked a worthy cause and have chosen my battles well. With all the enormous challenges facing people throughout the world, I wonder what in the hell are we doing wasting our time obsessing about relatively trivial things that occured years ago?

I guess for some, though, no supposed victimization is too small to consider when feeding one's religious prejudice.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

It's fascinating to me that you seem to minimize other people's sufferings and traumas because, to you, they pale in significance to greater tragedies (or is it because their sufferings involve the church that you love?). It would be like telling someone who just lost his wife and children in a car accident to suck it up because millions of people suffered and died in the holocaust.

The point is that, I wonder why in the hell you are wasting your time trivializing what is meaningful to other people? My son, whom I mentioned earlier, recently said something that I had never heard him say sincerely: "I'm sorry." I was ecstatic. He is learning empathy. Yes, that is minor and insignificant compared to, say, finding a cure for cancer, but it means a hell of a lot to my wife and me. I've heard you say over and over that you are interested in mutually workable strategies for building relationships of love and respect. That's not going to happen as long as you continue to dismiss the experience of others as some sort of whiny, self-pitying victimhood pose.

Apparently Schmo is not alone in failing to grasp the important and obvious distinction between putting things into proper proportion/perspective and "minimizing" them.

And, for you to compare the self-imposed discomfort of a Bishops interview with the accidental death of child, not only ironically trivializes the child's death, but tells me that you have lost a proper sense of proportion and perspective.

However, it may help to know that the notion of approximate meaningfulness is not lost on me. I honor the experience you had with your son, regardless of what all may be happening in the world. It was a good and healthy and uplifting experience, and one that promotes love and respect. I applaud and encourage that.

This, though, is quite a different thing than what Kimberlyann seems to be doing here. Saying "I'm sorry" to family members is world's apart from continually spouting petty harranges at the Church to virtual strangers. Kimberlyann doesn't appear to me to be looking to build relationships of love and respect--meaningfully proximate or otherwise. In fact, my impression is that she is bent on doing just the opposite in regards to the Church.

But, as previously mentioned, there are other more important and meaningful things to occupy my time. So, this will be the last I have to say on this thread. To each their own.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Runtu]

Apparently Schmo is not alone in failing to grasp the important and obvious distinction between putting things into proper proportion/perspective and "minimizing" them.

That's pretty much what I thought you would say.

[_Some Schmo]

Apparently Schmo is not alone in failing to grasp the important and obvious distinction between putting things into proper proportion/perspective and "minimizing" them.

Apparently Wade is alone in failing to grasp the important and obvious similarity between putting things into proper proportion/perspective and "minimizing" them.