Need your opinion

[_Who Knows]

worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

I think this is the only thing worth worrying about. That the bishop thinks you are under the influence of Satan is to be expected. Nothing will change that. He might be persuaded not to go around saying that to your family (as I think that's out of place), but nothing will change his mind.

What I think would be more interesting would be to have the bishop explain precisely how you are a bad influence by backing up the claims. And by that I don't mean the symptoms of your wife being unsure. What he needs to put up or shut-up about is whether or not you are exerting pressure on your wife to give up her faith more or less against her will. I seriously doubt you are doing that. I don't think you'd pressure an adult who does not wish to listen to your POV.

That said, I'd also be more concerned with your wife's perception of you and what she teaches the children as well as what the children are being taught about you in church. If anyone is speaking ill of you at church to them, I'd be livid. You are not a deadbeat nor an abuser. You let them attend church as they will. You do not deserve to be ill-spoken of.

Maybe you should consider a letter after you have a few nights to sleep it off so that you can reply as one hurt by the remarks instead of insulted and angry (which is your right, but would likely confirm the bishop's prejudices to himself of you).

Thanks for the kind words abman. I'd like to think I'm a great parent/husband. This forum is basically an outlet for me. I really never even talk about religion outside of this forum. Unless my wife brings it up on the rare occasion. I fully support my wife. I go to SM meeting with her to help her watch the kids (so she can listen in SM). I never question her when she has to do something for her calling. I've never turned down hometeachers, or even said anything negative towards the church to them, or to anyone in the ward. In fact, I'm pretty sure most people don't even know i'm an 'apostate'. They probably just think i'm lazy (since i don't go to sunday school or relief society).

The most important thing in my life is my 3 kids. I really don't even have any hobbies, because i spend pretty much all my free time with them. The only reason i bring this up, is because the last thing I need - and the one thing that will set me off, would be for the bishop (after all of this) to say to my kids that i'm somehow deficient as a parent - when he really has no clue.

[_The Dude]

Who Knows--

I wouldn't say anything to the Bishop (he's obviously an idiot) -- just reassure your wife and kids that you aren't listening to any spirit. If you continue to be open and loving with your wife, any effort to undermine you will backfire on the Bishop.

Always take the high road.

[_Who Knows]

Who Knows--

I wouldn't say anything to the Bishop (he's obviously an idiot) -- just reassure your wife and kids that you aren't listening to any spirit. If you continue to be open and loving with your wife, any effort to undermine you will backfire on the Bishop.

Always take the high road.

You're probably right. When my wife told me about it, she did kind of smirk. Over the last 2 years, I guess I've learned that 'less is more'. :)

[_Doctor Steuss]

I would confront the bishop... if at all possible. It's a sticky situation; one that I don't envy.


Edit:
Actually, The Dude in his regular wisdom has given a much better option.

[_wenglund]

How is it sticking the "dagger" to suggest mutual respect and refraining from bad-mouthing each other? (Hint: it's not--except those who dysfunctionally apply a double standard.)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Again, you seem to equate disagreeing with the church with "bad-mouthing" individual members of the church; it's not the same thing. I think most of us would be hard pressed to find where Who Knows has bad-mouthed church members.

Once more you jumped to the false assumption that I equate "disagreeing" with "bad-mouthing". I don't. I have had numerous disagreements where I didn't for a second think they were bad-mouthing.

And, while you may be hard pressed to find where you think Who Knows has "bad-mouthed" the Church, others may be hard pressed to find where the Bishop "bad-mouthed" Who Knows. Yet, such perceptions exist on both sides.

Resolution in each of these respective cases doesn't come by dismissing or discounting each other's perceptions (as you seem want to do), but rather through open-minded consideration of differing points of view with the intent of amicably working out those differences to the benefit of all parties concerned.

That is why I didn't dismiss Who Know's perception about his Bishop (though my innitial reaction was to think he was way over-reacting to the Bishops comments), but suggested that he graciously discuss the matter with him. Hopefully, you picked up on that key point while quibbling over my choice of words in the tongue-in-cheek portion of my comments. ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Scottie]

All I can say is that our bishop counselled my ex to divorce me, and we are now divorced.

[Gadianton]

Who Knows--

I wouldn't say anything to the Bishop (he's obviously an idiot)

-- just reassure your wife and kids that you aren't listening to any spirit. If you continue to be open and loving with your wife, any effort to undermine you will backfire on the Bishop.

Always take the high road.

While I agree whole-heartedly with your last statement, I wonder if you might have taken the opposite road with your harsh and perhaps rash judgement of the Bishop? I am not sure it is fair to judge a person's intellect (or openness to meaningful dialogue), who we have never met nor spent much of any time around, based solely on two or three very brief comments relayed third-hand. Wouldn't doing so make oneself as guilty, if not more so, of very things one may have deemed the Bishop guilty of?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Yong Xi]

I think it perfectly appropriate to graciously express your concerns to the Bishop and work out a mutually agreeable resolution.

Perhaps you can make the Bishop a deal: if he promises not to bad-mouth you to your wife and kids or anyone else, you promise not to bad-mouth the faith of the Bishop and your wife and kids to them or anyone else--including anonymously on the internet. ;-)

I think a mutually respectful conversation with your wife and kids about your concerns may also prove advantageous.

However, absent this, and unless your wife and kids are currently in agreement with you about your perceptions of the Bishop interviews, then single-handedly grounding them from attending Bishop's interviews (as rashly suggested earlier in the thread) may unwittingly do the very thing you hope to prevent--I.e. undermine your authority in the minds of your wife and children.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Ah, yes, Wade Englund. The Rodney King of Mormon Cyberspace.

Wade, you really need to get some balls. You don't happen to speak with a lisp, do you?

The bishop was out of line and should be told so.

[_beastie]

Perhaps you can make the Bishop a deal: if he promises not to bad-mouth you to your wife and kids or anyone else, you promise not to bad-mouth the faith of the Bishop and your wife and kids to them or anyone else--including anonymously on the internet. ;-)

Once again demonstrating that the only good exmormon is a silent exmormon.

[_wenglund]

I think it perfectly appropriate to graciously express your concerns to the Bishop and work out a mutually agreeable resolution.

Perhaps you can make the Bishop a deal: if he promises not to bad-mouth you to your wife and kids or anyone else, you promise not to bad-mouth the faith of the Bishop and your wife and kids to them or anyone else--including anonymously on the internet. ;-)

I think a mutually respectful conversation with your wife and kids about your concerns may also prove advantageous.

However, absent this, and unless your wife and kids are currently in agreement with you about your perceptions of the Bishop interviews, then single-handedly grounding them from attending Bishop's interviews (as rashly suggested earlier in the thread) may unwittingly do the very thing you hope to prevent--I.e. undermine your authority in the minds of your wife and children.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Ah, yes, Wade Englund. The Rodney King of Mormon Cyberspace.

Wade, you really need to get some balls. You don't happen to speak with a lisp, do you?

The bishop was out of line and should be told so.

I am sorry to have inadvertantly threatened your fragile masculinity with my attempts at civility. But, I suppose such things are unavoidable with good folks such as yourself who have yet to evolve beyond the stone age. If it is of any consolation, you may be perfect for this part in the Geico commercial: ;-)



Thanks, -Wade Englund-[/img]