Which family is most important: the temporal, eartly one or the Heavenly one with our Heavenly Father?
The one here, and now. The one you are charged with caring for and nurturing. This one on earth is more important then anyone you may or may not have in the hereafter.
Amen and amen. Especially since the one now is real, and the one in the hereafter is conjecture at best and foolish imagings at worst.
I understand your point. Yet perhaps people don't love each other all the time but still need to stay married. I mean couples fight and disagree and I'm sure at times don't really love each other. There's good times and bad times. People have good qualities and some that are almost intolerable.
In all my relationships with other people not just marriage, I try to hold on to the belief that it is only my own actions that determine my ultimate happiness. Other people may effect that happiness in the short term, but in the long term (even after this life) it is only my own decisions that matter.
Maybe you don't hold the same philosophy or maybe you do. That's just the best way I've found to ease the mental anguish of dealing with people that aren't always nice to me. I guess I just need a belief in an ultimate fairness to maintain my own sanity. Part of how I treat my spouse is also a covenant I've made with God. Some people can get away with mistreating the other person a lot in relationships because they hold a lot of power be it money, good looks, or whatever. I think these people need to know that just because they have this power does not give them the right to mistreat God's other children. I agree that one should stay married because he/she loves the other person, but I think some people need God thrown into the equation to bring out the best in them. Is it a lesser motivation, perhaps, but to me it's still true regardless. e.g. Matt 6:24
truth dancer wrote:Hey Jason... I guess you haven't read the FAIR/Mad board much! LOL! Actually I haven't read the board lately but everytime the subject came up there was always a group of men who certainly were hoping for the day... and a few women who seem to be glad to not have to have their husbands around. :-( Virtually every woman I have heard who is OK with polygamy for themselves has a very unusual idea of marriage and men.
I have LONG said... the idea of folks staying married because it was their duty, or because they made a promise, or because it is the rule of the church was very degrading. I can't think of much worse than to think someone is married to someone because they feel they have to remain married. Ahhhhh how horrible to think that is the reason for marriage.
~dancer~
And when the confederates saw Jackson standing fearless as a stone wall the army of Northern Virginia took courage and drove the federal army off their land.
Hey Jason... I guess you haven't read the FAIR/Mad board much! LOL! Actually I haven't read the board lately but everytime the subject came up there was always a group of men who certainly were hoping for the day... and a few women who seem to be glad to not have to have their husbands around. :-( Virtually every woman I have heard who is OK with polygamy for themselves has a very unusual idea of marriage and men.
Like I said I only know one woman who likes the idea of poygmay and not many men. I think the people on that other board are just a few oddities.
I have LONG said... the idea of folks staying married because it was their duty, or because they made a promise, or because it is the rule of the church was very degrading. I can't think of much worse than to think someone is married to someone because they feel they have to remain married. Ahhhhh how horrible to think that is the reason for marriage.
So you agree with me that the comment by the woman in the Temple presidency was right on then.
Yes, for me, I TOTALLY AGREE! I would NEVER, EVER want my husband to remain married to me because he felt he had to. Talk about degrading. Ahhhh talk about hell!
Now... This is slightly different than two people who don't really love each other remaining together until children are grown for the sake of the children. I find this very unselfish and loving.
But to remain with someone you don't love, out of pity, duty, or obligation is just cruel and selfish actually. It is keeping someone bound to you so you can get a reward. Keeping someone from finding someone who could love them so you can get the heavenly reward. ICK!
(Not you as in you, jason, but you as in people)! :-)
While focusing on "fixing" and improving oneself may be critical, I am not sure that alone is a gaurantee of relationship success.
For example, if only one side of the relationship focuses on fixing and improving oneself, and the other side of the relationship is focused instead on fixing the other person, the relationship may possibly have a better chance of working, but perhaps not.
Also, one or both sides of the relationship may focus on the wrong and/or insignificant areas of change, and be totally unaware of the areas in greatest need of personal improvement in order for the relation to work and grow.
If a spouse is faced with one or both these situations, what do you suppose they should do? And how can they do this without appearing to shift focus from oneself to others?
(I have some thought on this, myself, but I am interested in getting your points of view as well).