Plutarch wrote:GIMR wrote:Plutarch wrote:This is the case of the perpetual victim. She makes sure that all suffer with her. If you want pity, you have it.
P
I swear, the TBMs here are hilariously notorious for contributing absolutely NOTHING in the form of substance to the boards they visit.
Plutarch, get a hobby.
I am not a victim, I'm too loud for that. But I understand the threat to your "priesthood" that a loud female poses. It's ok. When you're done dazzling them in the courtroom with your lack of logic, you can come back here and amuse us more. We love it.
Why don't you just celebrate the Triumph who is Christ Jesus? In Him all are welcome, all are invited. I know you view Mormonism as restrictive and exclusive. Fine; if you are now an evangelical then let's hear how Jesus Christ triumphs over the close-mindedness of Mormonism. Hate-filled invective against "TBMs" might be cathartic, I supposed, for you. It just makes everybody else miserable.
Tell us how living a fornicating lifestyle comports with the Pauline view of Christ Jesus?
P
Plutarch, this is not a court room, so trying to paint untruthful pictures of people's inner lives to support your case will not work here. Do you see me from day to day? I'm sorry that pointing out the elitism of your faith bothers you, but if it bothers you that much, do something about it. TBMs (thank God) do not make up the entire population of the LDS faith, they are just the sickest part of it. They are the fundamentalists of the Mormon religion. If this poses a problem for you, stop whining, and make change.
Do you even know what the word evangelize means? Not "televangelism", but actual spreading of the "Good News", the truth that God loves and values everyone?
There is a book that I read in the last two years that I was LDS, which had a very positive impact on my spiritual journey. It's called "Woman, Thou Art Loosed". It was aimed at women who had experienced abuse in thier younger years, giving them hope that God could heal them, and give them not only a true sense of their self-worth, but happiness as well.
Being surrounded by TBMs never did that for me. And sadly, the lot of you are so loud and insistent that your way of seeing Mormonism is right, that the rest of the church literally has to sit back and be silent next to you on sunday. That is sick!
You wanna know about the joy of Jesus in my life? I doubt you will take anything from what I'm about to tell you in a positive way, your picture has already been painted, but I'll go out on a limb anyway. Please bear in mind that I have to tell a little bit of where I've been to get you to understand the joy of where I am now.
I grew up an orphan with living parents. Dad broke every promise he made, mom just beat me like a slave, called me names, and s*** on my dreams. Got beat at school, got beat at home. I have lost on average one loved one every three years since birth, and almost all of them have been those who were ones who cared if I had a future or not. Dad's been gone for four years, and I got blamed for his death for the sin of asking him to feed his kids.
I spent ten years fighting the urge to commit suicide, starting at age 12. I spent 20 years depressed, starting at age 5. I cannot recall a day when I thought as a child, and I caught hell from the first day I was placed in the presence of other children, because I saw them as children, subordinates to me, an adult. I never had the chance to live in a world of just being a kid, I always had to watch my surroundings to make sure I was gonna be ok, because no one else was looking out for me.
The epiphany came when I was 22, spending what I hope to be the last time in a hospital due to my depression. My dad had just died, no one seemed to care that I was grieving too, and I just couldn't take it. The docs told me they would take my freedom, put me away by court order in the psych ward down the hall, and not let me out until they saw fit. I didn't want that. As scared as I was of living, I had to try.
Three years later, looking at me, you wouldn't even know what I've been through. People come up to me and ask me why I'm so happy. I look in the mirror, and for the first time see a strikingly beautiful woman looking back at me, where there was once a scared girl with scratch marks on her face. I used to cower when rejected by men, I used to let them use me, now you either kiss the royal ring or get the steppin'. I wake up every morning, EVERY MORNING, PLUTARCH, and give thanks. I used to wake up every morning and wish to die. I listen to CC or Gospel music sometimes on the way to work, and I don't care who sees the tears on my face, so happy I am to hear the truth of what those words are saying. I have a joy and a peace to my life now that I never thought I would have. Never. I never thought I'd ever know what it felt like to be happy. I never considered myself to be blessed growing up.
And you know what? Not much has changed in my life, that's the crazy part. My family is as deranged as ever. I'm still the black sheep, despite the fact that I'm the only one who hasn't gotten pregnant yet, done drugs, or ended up in jail. I work two jobs and go to school full time. And I'm hated for it.
But it doesn't matter. Why?
Because I know now that it's not just about WHO I am, it's about WHOSE I am.
From my mid teens, when I first started going to church until now, I have spent many a night alone with God. Anyone who believes in God who struggles with depression can tell you just how hard it is to hear that still, small, voice, as LDS speak of it. It's very difficult. But in all those nights of crying and praying, slowly, surely, something sank in. The true knowledge of what I'm worth to HIM, that is like the sun in comparison to the measly candle flame of your esteem of me. The rediscovery of my dreams, the feeling of just being wrapped in love, even when no one else is around. The knowledge of whose I am in the mist of every person who wishes to villify me for not bending to their conditional love....why? Because I've tasted the unconditional. I revel in being who I am, and do not change according to man's standards. God changes me and in good time. And I walk in a peace that surpasses most people's understanding, because in their limited world, they don't understand how someone as "vicious" (in other words rebellious) as me can know anything about God.
Taste and see, P. You haven't. If you had, you wouldn't care too much about being perfect by any church's standards. I don't even have to go to church to commune with God, that's a daily event. Ritual doesn't matter, man's standards doesn't matter. This is a one-on-one affair, a love affair of the best kind. Can you even grasp what I'm saying? Something tells me no.