What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?

[KevinSim]

KevinSim, what's your opinion of the rightness or wrongness of polygamy now that you've read--and hopefully carefully integrated--all of these responses?

What I've gathered is that a lot of people think that polygamy has as an inevitable result a lot of unintentionally celibate men and/or a lot of cases of much older men marrying much younger women.
The Gospel Topics essay on polygamy on the official website of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints doesn't go out of its way to justify the practice of polygamy that that Church once actively engaged in, but reading between the lines it would appear that that website is implying that there are many more women who want to get married than there are men willing to make the sacrifices to make such marriages successful. It implies that there are a lot of women who would like to get married but who can't find men that meet their most basic standards, and those standards are not always unreasonable. And I am willing to consider the possibility that such an implication is valid. If it is valid, then that means that the celibate men (if they ever actually needed to be celibate) were not unintentionally so, and that there's no need for any of the mentioned age gaps. If there really are roughly as many men as there are women, and many more of the men (than woman) don't really want to get married, then the alternative to polygamy is not monogamy; the alternative to polygamy is monogamy for the lucky and celibacy for the unlucky.
What's my opinion on the rightness or wrongness of polygamy? I think that question is a bit premature; I'm still waiting for someone to directly address the question with points that are inherent to the issue. So far people have based their statements on conclusions that I'm not sure are valid.

[KevinSim]

... The alternative to polygamy is not monogamy; the alternative is monogamy for the lucky, and celibacy for the unlucky. And that's an improvement?

You honestly think that if people are faced with a decision to be single or to be in a polygamous marriage, they will think polygamy is the better choice?

Marcus, I know for a fact that some people will; I have met at least one of them.
Furthermore, about two years ago an elderly lady in our ward died, and I found out at her funeral that she had always wanted to raise children of her own. But she had never had the opportunity. In a polygamous society she would have had the opportunity.

[Marcus]

You honestly think that if people are faced with a decision to be single or to be in a polygamous marriage, they will think polygamy is the better choice?

Marcus, I know for a fact that some people will; I have met at least one of them.
Furthermore, about two years ago an elderly lady in our ward died, and I found out at her funeral that she had always wanted to raise children of her own. But she had never had the opportunity. In a polygamous society she would have had the opportunity.

Ok, that’s different. I also know for a fact that some people won’t, which means you are making assumptions that don’t hold in a discussion about polygamy.

... The alternative to polygamy is not monogamy; the alternative is monogamy for the lucky, and celibacy for the unlucky. And that's an improvement?

And as a result of these opinion-based assumptions, in my opinion you are asking an irrelevant question when evaluating polygamy in general.

[KevinSim]

Why is it that a man marrying two women means he's exploiting women, but another man marrying just one woman means he is not exploiting women?

But in the long run, if society embraces that as the norm...it'll lead, I'd wager, to exploitation of women.

Dastardly Stem, you didn't really answer my question. What is it about the act of marrying a second wife that makes the husband not be exploiting his first wife before the polygamous marriage, but makes him exploit one of the two (or both) after the polygamous marriage?

[KevinSim]

The math doesn’t really work out too well when there’s one person always getting more than 100%, and two-or-more people who never will.

Doctor Steuss, you're saying that two or more people will never get more than 100%?

[KevinSim]

Morms gon’ morm.

Doc, what exactly does that mean? And do you intend to answer any of my questions?

[KevinSim]

Coercive polygamy is the issue with Mormonism.

So you're talking Reb Tevye and Golde versus Tzeitel and Motel. It was wrong for Tevye's and Golde's parents to arrange their marriage? It seemed like it turned out okay in the end. And by the way, I had a bishop tell me who he thought I should marry. I had no trouble telling him no way. All the pressure that bishop and Brigham Young could bring to bear on the matter couldn't force me or anyone else to say yes in the temple sealing ceremony.

[KevinSim]

As I've explained, the large age discrepancy was a mathematically necessary feature of the system.

And I responded to that explanation, poking holes in it. So, in view of what I said, why do you think it was mathematically necessary?

[KevinSim]

Kevin, are you aware of any examples where plural marreiage has worked and been healthy for all the participants and the wider society?

No, I'm not. In the interests of full disclosure I have ancestors who had polygamous marriages. I'm pretty sure they worked, but I have no idea whether their marriage was healthy "for all the participants and the wider society." So what? IHAQ, are you aware that monogamy was healthy for Shirley Cook and people like her who wanted very badly to raise children but never had the opportunity to? You can't just sweep Shirley under the rug because she never married.

[KevinSim]

Nothing inherently, just so long as all participants are consenting adults who aren't being religiously coerced into doing so.

Neither of which, as you well know, was the case the way Mormons practiced it.

Ah, another vote against arranged marriages like Reb Tevye and Golde had in "Fiddler on the Roof." I must admit I am glad I had the opportunity to choose my wife all by myself.