John Dehlin Stake President update 8/23/14

[_mormonstories]

Well, I guess you and DCP have something in common. You both possess incredibly fragile egos that can't handle someone, somewhere, talking bad about you on the internet.

Molok -- I can handle it. But I reserve the right to respond to attacks occasionally. It's rarer these days, but I think it's only human to want to defend one's self from slander.

Again...if you don't respond, the slander stands unchallenged (and people assume it's true/valid).
But if you do respond, you're accused of attention-seeking and drama-mongering.

If you don't like it, don't participate in the thread, or shout down people like [real name deleted] and [real name deleted] that want to instigate the John Dehlin drama incessantly. Like stalkers.

My preference these days is to not respond, but I made an exception here. You would likely do the same thing, I'm guessing (if you were using your real name, and this was happening to you).

[_mormonstories]

I'll say it again -- if you are tired of John Dehlin drama, don't comment on John Dehlin threads. No one would be more please with this outcome than I would. Just try me. The drama is instigated by people like [real name deleted] (Rosebud) and [real name deleted] (Mayan Elephant). They have a creepy, stalker-like obsession and can't let it die, apparently. I hope it changes...but please don't blame me for occasionally defending myself.

If you don't like the drama, then stop contributing to it and let it die.

[_Bazooka]

I'll say it again -- if you are tired of John Dehlin drama, don't comment on John Dehlin threads. No one would be more please with this outcome than I would. Just try me. The drama is instigated by people like [real name deleted] (Rosebud) and [real name deleted] (Mayan Elephant). They have a creepy, stalker-like obsession and can't let it die, apparently. I hope it changes...but please don't blame me for occasionally defending myself.

If you don't like the drama, then stop contributing to it and let it die.

Should we call it 'Dehlarama'?

[_SteelHead]

Not like it? Meh, I think it is social behavior that we humans have developed as we are social critters with patterns and behaviors around identity and group dynamics.

But watching it unfold on the internet is like being back in highschool watching the social dynamics of the "in crowd". It is good for popcorn fodder, full of drama and angst, but in all a silly behavior.

It is like watching the dynamics of DCP and his crowd. Both this drama and DCP drama is like " reality TV" for the great and spacious Mormon online community. Entertainment, but of the lowest sort.

I'll try to refrain from further commentary, in order to let the viewers get back to their regularly scheduled programming.

[_Equality]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.

People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness” or “stupidity” or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.

In laypeople terms, someone with this disorder may be described simply as a “narcissist” or as someone with “narcissism.” Both of these terms generally refer to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates from the norm of the individual’s culture. The pattern is seen in two or more of the following areas: cognition; affect; interpersonal functioning; or impulse control. The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations. It typically leads to significant distress or impairment in social, work or other areas of functioning. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back to early adulthood or adolescence.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

* Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

* Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

* Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

* Requires excessive admiration

* Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

* Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

* Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

* Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

* Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Because personality disorders describe long-standing and enduring patterns of behavior, they are most often diagnosed in adulthood. It is uncommon for them to be diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, because a child or teen is under constant development, personality changes and maturation. However, if it is diagnosed in a child or teen, the features must have been present for at least 1 year.

Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females, and is thought to occur in up to 6.2 percent of the general population.

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-symptoms/

[Guest]

Natasha is the chairman of the board of the Open Stories Foundation. She started the MMHA as an Open Stories Foundation project (with the board's blessing) and eventually her plan is to spin it off as its own foundation. There is absolutely ZERO anyone is hiding here. Right now with internship I am simply too busy to be directly involved -- I couldn't even make the opening conference. Anyone who has any questions about the MMHA can ask Natasha. There is no news here. Just email her. Mormon Therapist. She's awesome, and she's all over the Mormon Internet.

seriously [mormonstories], do you think that natasha is going to open up an email dialogue with me about this? i'll tell ya what, why don't you have her email me instead?

well, i think this is exactly what rosebud is referring to when she says this -

I think that if someone were really to spend the time to investigate, it would be found, in general, that [mormonstories] both tightly controls projects he won't claim to own and that the people doing the real work on the projects [mormonstories] often takes credit for wouldn't give him any credit at all. Most leaders (including myself, but not only me) aren't often willing to challenge him publicly because public challenges are fairly inappropriate and challenging someone who is so powerful is not only risky should he retaliate, but is like hitting one's head against a brick wall. He doesn't and won't listen and directly denies actions he has directly taken.

here we are again and [mormonstories] is denying any control or input or responsibility for what Mormon stories and the open stories foundation are doing. and even that is just a semantic obfuscation. further, what difference does it make if [mormonstories] is in the bone breaking/healing businesses as the owner of both businesses, or if he is in the bone breaking/healing business because the chairman of the businesses he owns is in both? i mean seriously, is the response here really that john is not doing what people are accusing him of doing - Natasha is doing it?

as for the drama part. do not be confused by the big sound coming from the stage up front. there is just a silly man behind a curtain controlling the drama. if by drama, we are talking about the new order Mormon forum and its 20 or so contemporary contributors (and ELEVEN moderators that are in bed with Mormon Stories), or the MDB board and its dozens of contemporary contributors, this drama is fairly contained. i would compare this drama to Red, White and Blaine, where the real drama is not the actual drama.

ETA: Just for the record, I emailed Natasha the day the announcement was made by Peggy Fletcher Stack. I really do hope there is profound success in Mormon mental health. she did not respond and almost immediately after i sent the email i was removed from the Mormon stories community. i think adequate mental health is needed. i think it is a damn shame to make Mormon mental health part of the [mormonstories] and its many conflicts.

[_mormonstories]

[real name deleted] - If Natasha doesn't answer you, it's likely because she's either: 1) actually busy trying to make a positive difference in the world, or 2) you have a pretty well-known reputation as being a person not worthy of respect/good faith. Again...you unfortunately sometimes act like a leech....sucking blood from the good work of others....with nothing creative of your own to put forward.

If folks don't want Dehlin drama -- the answer is easy. Don't contribute to these threads...and the drama ends. I'll do my part starting now.

[_Equality]

Mayan Elephant - If Natasha doesn't answer you, it's likely because she's either: 1) actually busy trying to make a positive difference in the world, or 2) you have a pretty well-known reputation as being a person not worthy of respect/good faith. Again...you unfortunately sometimes act like a leech....sucking blood from the good work of others....with nothing creative of your own to put forward.

If folks don't want Dehlin drama -- the answer is easy. Don't contribute to these threads...and the drama ends. I'll do my part starting now.

When criticized, narcissists show themselves woefully incapable of retaining any emotional poise, or receptivity. And it really doesn't much matter whether the nature of that criticism is constructive or destructive. They just don't seem to be able to take criticism, period. At the same time, these disturbed individuals demonstrate an abnormally developed capacity to criticize others (as in, "dish it out" to them).

Although narcissists don't (or won't) show it, all perceived criticism feels gravely threatening to them (the reason that their inflamed, over-the-top reactions to it can leave us so surprised and confused). Deep down, clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose sense of self, they're compelled at all costs to block out any negative feedback about themselves. Their dilemma is that the rigidity of their defenses, their inability ever to let their guard down (even with those closest to them), guarantees that they'll never get what they most need, which they themselves are sadly--no, tragically--oblivious of.

. . .

It's precisely this need to be viewed as perfect, superlative, or infallible that makes them so hypersensitive to criticism. And their typical reaction to criticism, disagreement, challenges-or sometimes even the mere suggestion that they consider doing something differently-can lead to the "narcissistic rage" that is another of their trademarks. To protect their delicate ego in the face of such intensely felt danger, they're decidedly at risk for going ballistic against their perceived adversary.

All of which indicates just how fragile their artificially bloated sense of self really is. Given the enormity of their defenses, they regard themselves not on a par with, but above others. Yet they're mortally threatened when anyone dares question their words or behavior. Ancient fears about not being acceptable are never that far from the surface, which is why narcissists must forever be on their guard with anyone who might disbelieve or doubt them. For any external expression of doubt can tap into their own self-doubts.

And this is why, though they can certainly "dish it out" (by way of affirming to themselves their superiority over others), they just can't "take it" themselves. Obviously, if the child part of them was unequivocally convinced about their basic acceptability--was, that is, adequately integrated into their adult part--they wouldn't need to boast about (or exaggerate) their accomplishments, or vehemently debate anyone who took exception to their viewpoint. But it's definitely the case with narcissists that they see their best defense as mandating a good offense.

To sum up the above (as well as extend it), when criticized, narcissists--acutely sensitive to negative evaluation--can begin to experience anxiety or degradation. A certain shame at their non-family-bonded core may rise perilously close to consciousness. So, by way of safeguarding themselves from such never-resolved feelings of worthlessness or defeat, they're likely to react to present-day threats with contempt or defiance, or with a verbal violence frequently referred to as "narcissistic rage."

Another way of putting this is that, exquisitely susceptible to criticism because it endangers their frail sense of internal validation, they take great pains to devalue or invalidate the person criticizing them. To achieve such dismissal of the threatening other, they'll do everything possible to negate their viewpoint. And this can include much more than blaming or indignantly challenging them. For narcissists, when their position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable, will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie (actually, as much to themselves as others), flat-out contradict themselves (and to a degree that can leave the other person gaping!), and freely rewrite history (literally--and audaciously--making things up as they go along). This is why at such times they don't seem adults so much as six-year-olds. And in fact, when others inadvertently trigger mini emotional crises in them, there's little doubt that, both cognitively and emotionally, they can regress to a maturity level of that age (or less).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201110/the-narcissists-dilemma-they-can-dish-it-out

[_mormonstories]

lol. Equality ([real name deleted]) can't stop talking about John Dehlin....and then wants to claim that John Dehlin is an attention seeker.

I'll say it again. If you want less John Dehlin drama, try no longer contributing to these threads. Otherwise you are making fools of yourselves. We're all tired of it.

Oh...and a link for you, [real name deleted]:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_complex

Napoleon complex
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

British propaganda of the time promoted the idea that Napoleon was short. In reality, his height was average for the period.
Napoleon complex, or "short man syndrome", also found in short women, is a pejorative slang term describing a type of psychological phenomenon which is said to exist in people, usually men, of short stature. It can also be pronounced as 'Napoleonic Complex'. [1] It is characterized by overly-aggressive or domineering social behaviour, and carries the implication that such behaviour is compensatory for the subjects' stature. The term is also used more generally to describe people who are driven by a perceived handicap to overcompensate in other aspects of their lives. Other names for the term include Napoleon syndrome[2] and Short Man syndrome.[3]

The Napoleon complex is named after Emperor Napoleon I of France. The conventional wisdom is that Napoleon compensated for his lack of height by seeking power, war and conquest. Though he was long reported to have stood at only 5 ft 2 in (1.57 m),[4] historians have now suggested Napoleon was actually 5 ft 6 in (1.68 m) tall. Napoleon was often seen with his Imperial Guard, which contributed to the perception of his being short because the Imperial Guards were above average height.[5] In psychology, the Napoleon complex is regarded as a derogatory social stereotype.[6]

[_Equality]

I'll say it again -- if you are tired of [Joseph Smith] drama, don't [publish newspapers about Joseph Smith]. No one would be more please with this outcome than I would. Just try me. The drama is instigated by people like [Jane and William Law]. They have a creepy, stalker-like obsession and can't let it die, apparently. I hope it changes...but please don't blame me for occasionally defending myself.

If you don't like the drama, then stop contributing to it and let it die.