My wife is still LDS, I do not attend. Although I have a cordial and small social relationship with the Mormons my wife attends church with, I am starting to become uneasy at the thought of my one year old daughter attending the indoctrination and utter brainwashing of primary. Its down the road but not upon me yet. I am left with two tasks that would give me the desired result:
1. Convince my wife to leave the cult
2. Convince my wife that having our daughter attend primary will dammage her ability to discern what real truth is.
I love my wife dearly but this issue is unnerving. The last thing I want is my daughter to become locked in the clutches of the cult but I am afraid my wife believes I have no say in this.
What would you do?
My dillema - Raising my daughter correctly
-
_Mercury
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 5545
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:14 pm
My dillema - Raising my daughter correctly
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
-
_truth dancer
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 4792
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:40 pm
Hey Vegas,
I would focus all my efforts to teaching my child to live an ethical life, trusting herself, seeing the goodness in others regardless of what religion they embrace. I would help her to see how her actions impact the world around her. I would help her be aware of her own sense of goodness. I would try to be a good example of the goodness that is possible regardless of religious belief.
In other words, rather than thwarting the efforts of church teachings, I would vastly expand them to include much, much more.
Does that make sense?
~dancer~
I would focus all my efforts to teaching my child to live an ethical life, trusting herself, seeing the goodness in others regardless of what religion they embrace. I would help her to see how her actions impact the world around her. I would help her be aware of her own sense of goodness. I would try to be a good example of the goodness that is possible regardless of religious belief.
In other words, rather than thwarting the efforts of church teachings, I would vastly expand them to include much, much more.
Does that make sense?
~dancer~
-
_Bond...James Bond
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 4627
- Joined: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:49 am
Re: My dillema - Raising my daughter correctly
VegasRefugee wrote:My wife is still LDS, I do not attend. Although I have a cordial and small social relationship with the Mormons my wife attends church with, I am starting to become uneasy at the thought of my one year old daughter attending the indoctrination and utter brainwashing of primary. Its down the road but not upon me yet. I am left with two tasks that would give me the desired result:
1. Convince my wife to leave the cult
2. Convince my wife that having our daughter attend primary will dammage her ability to discern what real truth is.
I love my wife dearly but this issue is unnerving. The last thing I want is my daughter to become locked in the clutches of the cult but I am afraid my wife believes I have no say in this.
What would you do?
You have a few years Vegas. Play it by ear. You never know what your wife will do in the next five years.
Bond
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
-
_Who Knows
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 2455
- Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:09 pm
Going through something similar (TBM wife, 3 kids) - fighting your wife on this will only make things worse.
Just make sure you provide an even balance to the crap your kids will learn. Be a good example to them. Then, I think this is only fair, when it comes time for baptism (when they turn 8) let the kid choose - and make sure your wife agrees to this. Hey, if your kid's old enough to choose to get baptised, they're old enough to choose whether to go to church or not.
Just make sure you provide an even balance to the crap your kids will learn. Be a good example to them. Then, I think this is only fair, when it comes time for baptism (when they turn 8) let the kid choose - and make sure your wife agrees to this. Hey, if your kid's old enough to choose to get baptised, they're old enough to choose whether to go to church or not.
-
_Polygamy Porter
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 2204
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:04 am
Who Knows wrote:Going through something similar (TBM wife, 3 kids) - fighting your wife on this will only make things worse.
Just make sure you provide an even balance to the crap your kids will learn. Be a good example to them. Then, I think this is only fair, when it comes time for baptism (when they turn 8) let the kid choose - and make sure your wife agrees to this. Hey, if your kid's old enough to choose to get baptised, they're old enough to choose whether to go to church or not.
Sorry but I respectfully disagree.
You kid goes to church, and what does she hear from age 6.5 until age 8? Baptism, baptism, baptism... from their older peers standing up in primary and sacrament meeting, "I am sooo happy that I am a MEMBER of Jebus' choich!!", to the adults insessantly asking them "are you excited about becoming a MEMBER???", and the TBM adults in their life asking the same damn rote question.... yeah sure they have a choice...
The bishop of the ward told my wife that you don't give kids a choice, "parents will be held accountable, therefore you must do what is necessary...blah blah blah"
A year ago my oldest daughter turned eight. Needless to say, my father-in-law did the splish splash.. however, a year later she hates church and loves starbucks.
My next daughter turns eight this summer. Will she be forced to pass through the membership turnstile on the way down the steps of the dreaded Mormon baptismal font?
The good news is maybe not... my wife is just about out!
So, Vegas give it some time, you have 7 years... much can happen during that time.. just work on your wife peeling back lie upon lie, revealing deceit upon deceit, you will be giving her the wisdom, the wisdom.
-
_OUT OF MY MISERY
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:32 pm
Polygamy Porter wrote:Who Knows wrote:Going through something similar (TBM wife, 3 kids) - fighting your wife on this will only make things worse.
Just make sure you provide an even balance to the crap your kids will learn. Be a good example to them. Then, I think this is only fair, when it comes time for baptism (when they turn 8) let the kid choose - and make sure your wife agrees to this. Hey, if your kid's old enough to choose to get baptised, they're old enough to choose whether to go to church or not.
Sorry but I respectfully disagree.
You kid goes to church, and what does she hear from age 6.5 until age 8? Baptism, baptism, baptism... from their older peers standing up in primary and sacrament meeting, "I am sooo happy that I am a MEMBER of Jebus' choich!!", to the adults insessantly asking them "are you excited about becoming a MEMBER???", and the TBM adults in their life asking the same damn rote question.... yeah sure they have a choice...
The bishop of the ward told my wife that you don't give kids a choice, "parents will be held accountable, therefore you must do what is necessary...blah blah blah"
A year ago my oldest daughter turned eight. Needless to say, my father-in-law did the splish splash.. however, a year later she hates church and loves starbucks.
My next daughter turns eight this summer. Will she be forced to pass through the membership turnstile on the way down the steps of the dreaded Mormon baptismal font?
The good news is maybe not... my wife is just about out!
So, Vegas give it some time, you have 7 years... much can happen during that time.. just work on your wife peeling back lie upon lie, revealing deceit upon deceit, you will be giving her the wisdom, the wisdom.
Even my point of view does not count much I have to agree with P.P.
He sees and states things very clearly......
I love Starbucks myself,,,,would rather spend my time with my boys doing fun things instead of sitting in church..
I know I am an evil person
When I wake up I will be hungry....but this feels so good right now aaahhhhhh........
-
_moksha
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 22508
- Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:42 pm
Truth Dancers advice sounds very wise. It would undoubtedly be wise to cool your jets on this one, since it has the potential of causing a real rift between you and your wife.
As for myself, I am looking forward to baptizing my daughter. I wish to impart to her a love of all people and a respect for all faith traditions.
As for myself, I am looking forward to baptizing my daughter. I wish to impart to her a love of all people and a respect for all faith traditions.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
-
_Mercury
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 5545
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:14 pm
moksha wrote:Truth Dancers advice sounds very wise. It would undoubtedly be wise to cool your jets on this one, since it has the potential of causing a real rift between you and your wife.
As for myself, I am looking forward to baptizing my daughter. I wish to impart to her a love of all people and a respect for all faith traditions.
then why are you baptising her? Mormonism by definition isolates a child, making others out to be "of tghe world" and in the wrong. You are sorely mistaken if you believe otherwise.
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
-
_OUT OF MY MISERY
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:32 pm
VegasRefugee wrote:moksha wrote:Truth Dancers advice sounds very wise. It would undoubtedly be wise to cool your jets on this one, since it has the potential of causing a real rift between you and your wife.
As for myself, I am looking forward to baptizing my daughter. I wish to impart to her a love of all people and a respect for all faith traditions.
then why are you baptising her? Mormonism by definition isolates a child, making others out to be "of tghe world" and in the wrong. You are sorely mistaken if you believe otherwise.
I am wondering that my self why are you doing something to your daughter you are against....children do not need isolation they need acceptance by all not a few...but she is your child not mine
When I wake up I will be hungry....but this feels so good right now aaahhhhhh........
-
_moksha
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 22508
- Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:42 pm
OUT OF MY MISERY wrote:VegasRefugee wrote:moksha wrote:Truth Dancers advice sounds very wise. It would undoubtedly be wise to cool your jets on this one, since it has the potential of causing a real rift between you and your wife.
As for myself, I am looking forward to baptizing my daughter. I wish to impart to her a love of all people and a respect for all faith traditions.
then why are you baptising her? Mormonism by definition isolates a child, making others out to be "of the world" and in the wrong. You are sorely mistaken if you believe otherwise.
I am wondering that my self why are you doing something to your daughter you are against....children do not need isolation they need acceptance by all not a few...but she is your child not mine
No, these are just misconceptions of the way Mormons "have to act and behave". Sometimes the only way to effectively vilify people is to lump them all together, but we are not so easily categorized or stereotyped. Our boxes are apparently too permeable. As to the effect of baptism on my daughter? I view it in a positive light.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace