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I'm not demanding respect; just asking for social civility

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:44 pm
by _Alter Idem
In order not to derail the Martha Brotherton thread, I've chosen to address this topic on a new thread.



Alter Idem wrote: " Umm...what's the deal? Is the "F" word allowed in the Terrestrial section now(like the rule in PG-13 movies that it can be used a couple of times and it won't get an "R"rating)? Bryan used it a number of times and now my eyes are burning.


Why me wrote: " Bryan has stated that respect needs to be earned and not given. However, to get respect from bryan and to earn his respect, seems to be rather difficult. I choose to ignore his use of language and focus on his diatribes against the LDS church. This seems to work for me. Like many disrespectful critics his bark is worse than his bite...


Alter Idem wrote: " So Bryan chooses to assault the rest of us with his vulgar choice of words, because we haven't "earned his respect"? I won't hold my breath for that to ever happen.



Bryan wrote: "Take it personally if you want, but to think you mean enough to me to cause me to change my vernacular is hilarious. I use words that convey my meaning.

And since, to be perfectly honest, I don't look to earn respect from people like you, I really have no desire to try and subvert who I am to match something you feel is respectable."



Alter Idem:

Bryan, I did not take it personally, and I don't expect you to like or even want to discuss with "people like me" if you choose not to. However, I do expect some measure of tolerance on your part for other's sensitivities while you post in the Terrestrial section. I don't see this as a matter of respect as much as a matter of general civility.

I don't think that is asking too much. While you may not be interested in discussion with "people like me", I think there are others here on the board who do enjoy having some LDS members on the board. The Terrestrial and Celestial sections were created so that those on the board who don't wish to read profanities and vulgarity can still participate. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't believe you need to use expletives for the rest of us to "know who you are". I've read some of your posts and you are more than capable of expressing yourself clearly without them.

If it helps, I assure you that if you abide by the rules and leave the profanty in the Telestial section, I will not make the mistake of believing it is because you respect me. I will assume it is because you would like to help MormonDiscussions become a successful board where believers, unbelievers and unaffiliates can enjoy interesting dialogues.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:37 pm
by _Runtu
Civility ought to come as a matter of course. Respect, on the other hand, is earned. But I agree that we should try to do better to be civil.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 7:11 pm
by _gramps
Alter Idem wrote:

Bryan, I did not take it personally, and I don't expect you to like or even want to discuss with "people like me" if you choose not to. However, I do expect some measure of tolerance on your part for other's sensitivities while you post in the Terrestrial section. I don't see this as a matter of respect as much as a matter of general civility.

I don't think that is asking too much. While you may not be interested in discussion with "people like me", I think there are others here on the board who do enjoy having some LDS members on the board. The Terrestrial and Celestial sections were created so that those on the board who don't wish to read profanities and vulgarity can still participate. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't believe you need to use expletives for the rest of us to "know who you are". I've read some of your posts and you are more than capable of expressing yourself clearly without them.

If it helps, I assure you that if you abide by the rules and leave the profanty in the Telestial section, I will not make the mistake of believing it is because you respect me. I will assume it is because you would like to help MormonDiscussions become a successful board where believers, unbelievers and unaffiliates can enjoy interesting dialogues.


I, for one, enjoy having you here and hope you will stay around. The forums were created for a reason and I would hope everyone follows the guidelines. Civility is a good thing.

Re: I'm not demanding respect; just asking for social civili

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 7:22 pm
by _Bryan Inks
*Warning* This post was written in the 3 minutes I had before I left for work *Warning*

Alter Idem wrote:Bryan, I did not take it personally, and I don't expect you to like or even want to discuss with "people like me" if you choose not to. However, I do expect some measure of tolerance on your part for other's sensitivities while you post in the Terrestrial section. I don't see this as a matter of respect as much as a matter of general civility.


Unfortunately, I don't tolerate anyone's sensitivities. Nor do I expect others to tolerate mine. Your sensitivities are your problem.

Alter Idem wrote:I don't think that is asking too much. While you may not be interested in discussion with "people like me", I think there are others here on the board who do enjoy having some LDS members on the board. The Terrestrial and Celestial sections were created so that those on the board who don't wish to read profanities and vulgarity can still participate. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't believe you need to use expletives for the rest of us to "know who you are". I've read some of your posts and you are more than capable of expressing yourself clearly without them.


A. I do enjoy discussions with "people like you". That doesn't mean your respect matters a quark in a pig farm.

B. Actually, the Celestial section was created for that purpose. The Terrestrial section quite clearly states: "Rated PG to PG-13.". Now, maybe I just have a clearer understanding of what that means, given my extensive history with theater and the MPAA, but nothing I have posted as violated that rule.

And those places where others haven't agreed. . . Shades has edited it out so you don't have to get your panties in a twist.

C. I choose to speak the way that I do. You choose to interpret what people say. It's just a word, you supply the meaning. *Quick Tip* Don't want to get offended? Then don't.

Alter Idem wrote:If it helps, I assure you that if you abide by the rules and leave the profanty in the Telestial section, I will not make the mistake of believing it is because you respect me. I will assume it is because you would like to help MormonDiscussions become a successful board where believers, unbelievers and unaffiliates can enjoy interesting dialogues.


Civility is in the eye of the beholder.

I post the way I post. And no offense, while I do enjoy having LDS people here and hope you stay, I don't enjoy having to subvert who I am to accomodate your precious sensibilities. Did you read what I said? Then you relenquish all right to blame me for you being offended.

And you are correct, I do enjoy helping MD become a success. But my word choice isn't going to affect that success.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:36 am
by _Alter Idem
gramps wrote:I, for one, enjoy having you here and hope you will stay around. The forums were created for a reason and I would hope everyone follows the guidelines. Civility is a good thing.


Thanks gramps, I enjoy the discussions here (well, some of them anyway) and though I find myself feeling exasperated at some posters, it doesn't cause me to want to leave. Heck, I've managed to last at MADB for over a year and I can't count how many times I felt exasperated at the posters there. So far I've found LDS message boards to be a good lesson in patience:)

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:46 am
by _cksalmon
Alter Idem wrote:
gramps wrote:I, for one, enjoy having you here and hope you will stay around. The forums were created for a reason and I would hope everyone follows the guidelines. Civility is a good thing.


Thanks gramps, I enjoy the discussions here (well, some of them anyway) and though I find myself feeling exasperated at some posters, it doesn't cause me to want to leave. Heck, I've managed to last at MADB for over a year and I can't count how many times I felt exasperated at the posters there. So far I've found LDS message boards to be a good lesson in patience:)


I don't care to read blatant vulgarity either, frankly. But, I do appreciate the open standards here at MD. Catch-22, I suppose.

Best.

CKS

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:55 am
by _Jersey Girl
Can I ask a question here? I looked over the thread and I see two places where Brian used variations of the word "f***" and one "Goddamn".

Doesn't the "Goddamn" bother you?

Jersey Girl

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:20 am
by _Alter Idem
Jersey Girl wrote:Can I ask a question here? I looked over the thread and I see two places where Brian used variations of the word "f***" and one "Goddamn".

Doesn't the "Goddamn" bother you?

Jersey Girl


"Da*m" doesn't bother me but yes, "G**" used as a profanity does. To be honest though, when I got to the first "F"bomb he dropped, I didn't read much else he wrote. I'm not sure just what is allowed in Terrestrial but I was pretty sure the F word was not, therefore that was what I commented on.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:25 am
by _Dr. Shades
Alter Idem wrote:I'm not sure just what is allowed in Terrestrial but I was pretty sure the F word was not, therefore that was what I commented on.


You're right. No "F" word or "S" word--or any of their many variants--are allowed in the Terrestrial Forum.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:43 am
by _twinkie
When you say "vulgarity," do you mean only vulgar words? I have to admit I sometimes confuse Terrestrial and Telestial.