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I think my favorite is when a TBM gets a little teary eyed and says "I want yout to know that I know the church is true, even with every fiber of my being. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can convince me that the church is not true. yada, yada, yada."

I think TBMs forget that exmormons or members who are questioning their faith know what a testimony is and what it's used for.

SatanWasSetUp wrote:I think my favorite is when a TBM gets a little teary eyed and says "I want yout to know that I know the church is true, even with every fiber of my being. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can convince me that the church is not true. yada, yada, yada."

Mine is "the church is true because it still exists" .

I think TBMs forget that exmormons or members who are questioning their faith know what a testimony is and what it's used for.

Yep. A testimony is self hypnosis that a lie is true.

Its really too bad that you have some major sin that is keeping the spirit from you. I hope that some day you can realize the error of your ways and repent to god.

I laugh every time.

My favorite is that Jesus promised that whenever two or more are gathered in his name, his spirit would be among them.

moksha wrote:My favorite is that Jesus promised that whenever two or more are gathered in his name, his spirit would be among them.

I think I remember that there was a law in Provo that if two or more people were gathered outside, and a neighbor complained about the noise they were making, they could be cited for disturbing the peace. I have no documentation for this. ;)

My favorite is that if they're right, I'll be suffering in the afterlife. If they're wrong it won't matter anyways.

My favorite, or rather anti-favorite, is when I'm told that if I would only pray again and study the scriptures, and not all of this critical stuff, my testimony would return and I'd know it was true again.

Several members of my family on my side and my wife's have told that the problem is that I'm studying the wrong stuff, and that I need to look for my answers in the scriptures, not this other stuff.

They have a hard time understanding what I mean when I say that I don't believe that the scriptures are credible sources of truth. Of course the answer is that if I would study the scriptures more, then I'd read in the scriptures why the scriptures are credible sources for truth, and everything would be all better. :-)

I get a kick out of the circular logic that a person must have sinned if they have lost their testimony.. What a great way to keep people from straying away from the sheep pen..

Sethbag wrote:My favorite, or rather anti-favorite, is when I'm told that if I would only pray again and study the scriptures, and not all of this critical stuff, my testimony would return and I'd know it was true again.

Several members of my family on my side and my wife's have told that the problem is that I'm studying the wrong stuff, and that I need to look for my answers in the scriptures, not this other stuff.

They have a hard time understanding what I mean when I say that I don't believe that the scriptures are credible sources of truth. Of course the answer is that if I would study the scriptures more, then I'd read in the scriptures why the scriptures are credible sources for truth, and everything would be all better. :-)

Funny. So the church is true and if you only read information saying the church was true you would believe it. Well duh. That's why its a good idea to read information from all sources, so you can get all the information and make up your own mind. I love it when they tell you stop reading the anti stuff and only read the church produced stuff. It's like the old saying, if you refuse to read anything that challenges your existing knowledge, you might as well be illiterate. The church wants its members to be effectively illiterate.

That's one of things that I couldn't believe when I was talking to missionaries for the first few times.

These young kids with skulls full of mush told me that they are only allowed to read church approved stuff, watch church approved videos, listen to church approved music, not watch TV, not read newspapers, and are basically cut off from their families.

That's not a mission, it's a brain-washing session!

moksha wrote:My favorite is that Jesus promised that whenever two or more are gathered in his name, his spirit would be among them.

This is true. I was having sex with a couple of chicks and all of us kept crying out, "Dear god! Holy Jesus! God, I'm coming!" There was a lot of spirit in that room.

I guess my favorite (if favorite means "holy crap, how can that possibly satisfy you?") would be:

TBM: I know it's true.

Me: Prove it.

TBM: I can't prove it, but I have faith it's true.

Me: Having faith is the same a knowing?

TBM: No, but I know it's true.

Me: Prove it.

(There's no way to break out of this loop which could keep going forever if everyone was willing.)