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Jesus Appears on FAIR/MAD

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:49 pm
by _Runtu
The following exchange appeared briefly on the aptly named MAD board:

Jesus of Nazareth: Behold, I come again to gather my sheep and prepare for the judgment. I am come to call all to repentance.

Paanchi: Oh, brother. Not another RfM troll. Booorrrinnnggg!!! Go take your trash somewhere where they'll appreciate you, like a KKK convention.

Jesus of Nazareth: My son, I am calling you as a mother hen gathers her chicks. Be not afraid.

Faith: I think we need to understand that some people just don't understand the whisperings of the spirit. I know the church is true, and I don't need some self-appointed "judge" to tell me otherwise.

Paanchi: Listen, "Jesus," Joseph Smith was a better man than you can even hope to be. Trotting out your tired attacks against the Lords' anointed will get you nothing but a first-class ticket to outer darkness, where you'll rot with the rest of the haters and bigots.

Jesus of Nazareth: I bring you the gospel of love, not of hate.

Walt_Scotland: I don't know you at all, Jesus, but I think you'd be better advised to look inwardly and see where you are at fault in propagating a cycle of anger and recrimination. You will find peace only when you realize that you, not the LDS church, are at fault.

Jesus of Nazareth: I come to set at liberty the captives.

Daniel Midgley-Welch: I'm so impressed by your condescension. I'm sure you really pity us poor deluded Mormons who are "captives" of some imaginary totalitarian cult. Next you'll be saying I like doughnuts and calling me a cult loon like that slimy Mr. Bachman.

Jesus of Nazareth: I come to bring down the exalted and exalt the poor in spirit.

Joylene: Here's another example of the angry exie, who just can't walk away but has to revel in his hatred of those in the true church. When you get to graduate school (like I have) you can start commenting on my religion. Otherwise, beat it.

Jesus of Nazareth: Is there no one who will believe in me?

The Dudester: Don't look at me, I'm an atheist.

Har Amen: Why isn't anyone reading my thread about the parallels between the use of "and" in Semitic texts and the Book of Abraham?

Doomanus: No personal threads! Thread closed.

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:55 pm
by _Who Knows
Hahaha! Very nice!

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:47 pm
by _Lucretia MacEvil
Oooh, can we say "defensive"?

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:52 pm
by _moksha
Runtu, welcome back and keep them coming. Why not real avatar names? How about one of this forum?

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:57 pm
by _Alter Idem
Oh, Runtu, very clever indeed. (If I had smilies I'd post some laughing ones because I did laugh out loud--especially the "no personal threads" for the punch line.

You certainly have the characters down pat.

I'm glad you're feeling better and brought a little levity to the board!

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:00 pm
by _Alter Idem
moksha wrote:Runtu, welcome back and keep them coming. Why not real avatar names? How about one of this forum?


Noooo....don't use real avatar names, the names were part of the parody and it was fun to try and figure out who was who. However, I second Moksha, I hope you'll keep them coming--and yes, do this forum too. You've got a talent for it!

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:07 pm
by _Lucretia MacEvil
Silly me, I fell for it.

Oh, well, just because it didn't happen doesn't mean it's not true.

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:15 pm
by _moksha
Lucretia MacEvil wrote:Silly me, I fell for it.

Oh, well, just because it didn't happen doesn't mean it's not true.

It is an easy mistake to make, but I doubt MAD would be Jesus' first stop. I think he would freshen up at the SL Temple and then walk down to the rescue mission. It is unknown whether the Apostles would follow him in their limos. Later on he would probably send GIMR an email saying hello and then finally go to the MAD forum.

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:15 pm
by _Lucretia MacEvil
moksha wrote:
Lucretia MacEvil wrote:Silly me, I fell for it.

Oh, well, just because it didn't happen doesn't mean it's not true.

It is an easy mistake to make, but I doubt MAD would be Jesus' first stop. I think he would freshen up at the SL Temple and then walk down to the rescue mission. It is unknown whether the Apostles would follow him in their limos. Later on he would probably send GIMR an email saying hello and then finally go to the MAD forum.


There was a movie that came out just before Y2K where Jesus came back and one of his first destinations was to his lawyers. The Mormons had the same lawyers, and someone in the foyer told Jesus that the Mormons were already there and he said, "what are Mormons?" In the end, he decided not to carry out the judgment after all. Cool movie.

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:31 pm
by _silentkid
Doomanus had me laughing out loud. Best fake screen-name ever. I bow to your genius, Runtu.