I would be remiss if I didn't take this oppportunity to...

Post by **_Boyd_K_Packer** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:30 pm

apologize. My dear Brothers and sisters, I would like to publicly apologize to my Dear Brother Elder Dan Bednar. I publicly rebuked him on numerous occasions on this board and elsewhere. I have heard from several sources that he broke down and cried in front of his fat secretary after reading my negative review of his pickle talk. I have further heard rumors that he is considered resigning from the Quorum, because as he reportedly said, "It ain't worth it." When President Hinckley heard this rumor he hit the ceiling. Not literally of course because he might break his hip, but the Prophet was deeply troubled. President Hinckley feels Elder Bednar is a valuable asset to the Quorum, for he adds a youthful studliness factor that has been missing since the days of the Prophet Joseph Smith. I deeply regret any offense I may have caused Brother Bednar, for although it may be true that his pickle talk was exceedingly bad, it is not necessarily useful to tell him that. Therefore, I would like to reach out in fellowship to apologize and ask Elder Bednar's forgiveness in this matter. So I now humbly ask: Dan, please forgive me. The weeks leading up to General Conference tend to bring out the grizzly bear in me, and I often hurt people unintentionally.

Now that that business is behind us, on an unrelated topic, I attempted to fit the entire topic of my apology into the subject line, but I could not fit the word "apologize" yea even the most important word. Why is it that the Lord's anointed must abbreviate their topics on this board? Whoever is in charge here, fix it.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sincerely,

Boyd K. Packer

Post by **_Jason Bourne** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:41 am

Uhhh.... It is David Bednar, not Dan.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:44 am

Jason Bourne wrote:Uhhh.... It is David Bednar, not Dan.

OMG! LMAO!!!

IS BOYD GETTING A LITTLE FORGETFUL IN HIS OLD AGE?

Post by **_Boyd_K_Packer** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:23 am

Jason Bourne wrote:Uhhh.... It is David Bednar, not Dan.

Dan, David, whatever. The main point is I upset a junior Quorum member and I am sorry for it.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:26 am

Boyd_K_Packer wrote:
Jason Bourne wrote:Uhhh.... It is David Bednar, not Dan.

Dan, David, whatever. The main point is I upset a junior Quorum member and I am sorry for it.

How did you know he was upset? Has he stopped putting arsenic in your OJ?

_Richard Dawkins · Post by **_Richard Dawkins** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:46 am

As a long time member of the scientific community, and as one highly trained in the methods of scientific inquire and logical thought, I should bring to the attention of all here that I have deep suspicions that the person posting here under the name of Boyd K. Packer is not actually Elder Packer. I'll elucidate this later at length, but a number of things have led me to this conclusion.

Carl appeared to me again last night and said only "The Brethren are serious people doing serious work. They don't have time to goof off on frivolous message boards or watch old reruns of Cosmos."

Now, I take what Carl says very seriously, not only because he's a spirit personage, but because he's a spirit personage who was as convinced as I was that the last thing that would ever happen to him would be that he would be telling me after his death that there's a man in a red suit who's just crazy about atheistic scientists who spend their entire lives teaching people that there is no God and so don't worry about any ultimate accounting for your behavior in this life, that he's met this guy, and he's something of a wet blanket.

Anyway, take what this BKP says with a grain of salt. He may be a Manchurian Authority.

Post by **_Coggins7** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:50 am

[
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Post by **_Fortigurn** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:02 am

Well that proves Richard Dawkins and Cogs are the same person.

Post by **_Coggins7** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:21 am

Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night
May become RD when the moon is full
And the message board's in sight

_marg · Post by **_marg** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:20 am

Cog as Richard Dawkins wrote:Now, I take what Carl says very seriously, not only because he's a spirit personage, but because he's a spirit personage who was as convinced as I was that the last thing that would ever happen to him would be that he would be telling me after his death that there's a man in a red suit who's just crazy about atheistic scientists who spend their entire lives teaching people that there is no God and so don't worry about any ultimate accounting for your behavior in this life, that he's met this guy, and he's something of a wet blanket.

So Cog's if RD talked like this you'd think it rather stupid wouldn't you. And yet isn't this pretty much the mentality which Mormonism encourages?