A Proclamation From Oprahworld

[Dr. Sunstoned]

Translated by the gift and power of God from Libspeak into standard English.




A PROCLAMATION TO THE CHURCH

We solemnly proclaim that romantic love between two people is a good thing and that their familial arrangements are their own business.

Translation: Without God, everything is permitted.


All human beings, regardless of gender or orientation, are beloved spirits with their own divine nature and destiny. Gender and orientations are natural gifts, giving each individual a special identity and purpose.


Translation: If it feels, appears, or is perceived to be good to one's subjective mind and its wishes, desires, and predilections, do it.


The image of Adam and Eve, being commanded to "multiply and replenish the earth," presents a limited view of the potential and dignity of each individual whose value is not to be determined by his or her capacity to breed. We declare that any organization which honors polygamy - secret, in violation of the law, to persons already married to someone else as well as to children - is in no position to judge the family relationships of others.

Translation: If children and the responsibilities of parenthood interpose themselves between oneself and one's personal desires or material ambitions, kill the child before it has a chance to be born. The "capacity to breed" is a terrible imposition upon the limitless satisfying of carnal, material, and psychological wants and, since it involves the advanced development of such attributes as self discipline, delayed gratification, selflessness, and the sacrifice of personal desires and lifestyle options for the betterment of another, must be rigorously subdued.


Parents have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children, to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Parents are responsible for the discharge of these obligations - including the obligation to make every child feel loved.


No translation here, as the concepts expressed here, although clearly intended to be hostile to the Church's teachings, are perfectly LDS throughout.



Families are important. Children are better served when their parents remain together, but the definition of family has more to do with function than form. Single parents are not necessarily bad parents, nor are dual parents necessarily good. What matters most is that children are protected from abuse and neglect - and surrounded by those who love them dearly.


Translation: Trendy leftist ideology is much more more important that the words of God through his anointed servants and much more pleasing to our carnal minds. And, as trendy leftist ideology says there is no such thing as the words of God through his anointed servants, the only thing left to us is trendy leftist ideology. Broad, vague negative generalities about LDS doctrine (such as the implicit claim of some kind of hostility to single parenthood--despite the mountains of social science data that say single parenthood, although viable for some, is never optimum, and the fact that the Church has no such hostility to single mothers) will do very well to hide the vast cultural calamities brought about by the very ideology we here make known to the world.


We warn that well-intended church folk who arrogantly denigrate familial relationships that differ from their own - or who violate the dignity of persons whose orientation differs from their own - are accountable for the violence and hardship that results from the intolerant attitudes they help foster.


Translation: Faithful Saints who speak truth to power and make clear the consequences of violation of the commandments and counsel of God and the personal and social pathologies brought on by materialism, sexual libertinism and the modern cult or eroticism at its root; less than optimum family arrangements (including the systematic delegitimization and destruction of the nuclear family by the forces of leftist secularism), and gross perversions of psycho-sexual functioning such as homosexuality and other psycho/spiritual pathologies, are not among the Anointed, but are among the Benighted, and must be shunned as the moral and cultural pariahs they are.


This is standard, textbook late 20th century Liberalism, calling evil good and good evil, casting aspersions upon those who call spades, Jacks, and Aces exactly what they are; call the wicked to repentance, expose those who support Satan and his agenda upon this earth for who and what they are, and generally, make life very unpleasant for those who live at a Telestial level.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote the separation of Church and state, as well as to maintain the rights and dignity of all persons within society.


If the author of this smarmy sanctimonious tripe could please find for me the phrase "separation f church and state" somewhere in the founding legal and philosophical documents of this nation, I'd be happy to take a serious look.

[_Who Knows]

Why didn't you just respond in Moksha's thread?

[_Coggins7]

Why didn't you just respond in Moksha's thread?

Because I wanted to satirize and pointedly lampoon this excercise is Liberal moral one-upsmanship first.

[_Who Knows]

Why didn't you just respond in Moksha's thread?

Because I wanted to satirize and pointedly lampoon this excercise is Liberal moral one-upsmanship first.

That, or you're an attention whore.

[_Coggins7]

Some might cast me as an Attention Deficit Whore before a garden variety Attention Whore. There is also, of course, Borderline Personality Whore and, worst of all, Post Partum Nuclear Family Planned Parenthood Deficit Disorder Whore.

But, you know, a rat is a cat is a boy is a whore.

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

Why didn't you just respond in Moksha's thread?

Because I wanted to satirize and pointedly lampoon this excercise is Liberal moral one-upsmanship first.

You need to work on your skills as far as satire and lampooning are concerned. You come off like a narrow-minded judgmental ... umm, person.

[_Coggins7]

The truth not only hurts, its positively agonizing, isn't' it?

[_Fortigurn]

Cogs, you really need to lift your game. I found only a few shadows of your previously high standard of fustian cacoëthes:

* gross perversions of psycho-sexual functioning

* vast cultural calamities

* smarmy sanctimonious tripe

In addition, there were too many commas and some of your sentences were less than three lines long.

[_Coggins7]

If the words I use are too big for you Fort, perhaps you should just spend more time in the Telestial Kingdom where the words used don't very often go much beyond four letters.

[_Fortigurn]

If the words I use are too big for you Fort, perhaps you should just spend more time in the Telestial Kingdom where the words used don't very often go much beyond four letters.

It seems you didn't read my post. I'm saying that you're not using words which are big enough. You need to use bigger words, more polysyllaby, and considerably more melodrama. You didn't even use 'festering'.