Clean Flix Releases "Worthy" Version of PBS Docume

Post by **_Runtu** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:21 pm

Bowing to customer demand, Clean Flix has announced the availability of a "worthy" version of the recent PBS documentary "The Mormons."

Dean Gunderson, spokesman for the company, explained. "We received hundreds of phone calls from church members who wanted to see the program but had read about the offensive and biased material presented. I believe we, more than anyone, are best equipped to present this material in a fair and balanced way and let the viewers decide."

Gunderson explained that they took as their guiding principle the wise counsel from President Boyd K. Packer: "Some things that are true are not very useful." Said Brother Gunderson, "We looked at each section of the film and prayerfully determined whether it met the criteria of being both useful and uplifting. We're pretty pleased with the outcome."

First, Gunderson's team removed all statements from non-LDS participants. "You could just feel the evil presence whenever they spoke. And I think that one guy was gay." And all references to non-Mormons were removed, especially depictions of polygamists. "Why anyone would associate our church with those nutjobs in Southern Utah is beyond me," said an indignant Gunderson.

After that, they carefully removed that which tears down instead of building up. "Well, all I know is that so-called 'Sister' Flake was not the kind of church member I know. She reeked of bitterness and hostility. And that Islamic scholar, what was he doing there? When my kids saw the word 'Islam' on the screen, they got scared. Plus he was saying all that nonsense about stones in hats, like we really believe that."

Clean Flix also removed offensive visuals. "I couldn't believe it. They made New England look like a bleak wasteland, like this was some R-rated horror movie. It had to go. Avoid the appearance of evil, I always say," said Gunderson.

A spokesperson for PBS expressed outrage at the edits: "They took a beautiful and informative documentary and reduced it to a 3-minute monologue from Terryl Givens."

Responded Gunderson, "Yes, and aren't those 3 glorious minutes?"

Post by **_CaliforniaKid** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:31 pm

Lol. You had me going till halfway through the fourth paragraph.

Post by **_Blixa** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:51 pm

Three minutes? Givens's blathering about dancing went on for at least five!!!

Post by **_Runtu** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:52 pm

Blixa wrote:Three minutes? Givens's blathering about dancing went on for at least five!!!

Yes, but dancing is suggestive of nudity, and we can't have that.

Post by **_KimberlyAnn** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:55 pm

Runtu wrote: Yes, but dancing is suggestive of nudity, and we can't have that.

It IS? Wow. Dancing with you must be somethin' else!

Post by **_Runtu** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:59 pm

KimberlyAnn wrote:
Runtu wrote: Yes, but dancing is suggestive of nudity, and we can't have that.

It IS? Wow. Dancing with you must be somethin' else!

You have no idea, KA. ;-)

Post by **_christopher** » Thu May 10, 2007 7:25 pm

We had a guy in our last ward, one the nicest people you would meet, who only believed in "The Work and The Glory" series for his church history. He was called recently as bishop.

I swear I'm not making this up. His father had been branch president years ago, and I saw him take different volumes of the series to the stand during his talks. When we were leaving the church, my wife was talking to him about some of the issues we had, and he told her that he didn't want to know about it, that he was comfortable with the stories in "The Work and the Glory".

The guy wasn't a dummy (he is an attorney) but to him and his family, church history was this whitewashed series of fiction books.

I wonder at what point the series gets canonized?

Chris <><

Post by **_The Nehor** » Thu May 10, 2007 9:12 pm

christopher wrote:We had a guy in our last ward, one the nicest people you would meet, who only believed in "The Work and The Glory" series for his church history. He was called recently as bishop.

I swear I'm not making this up. His father had been branch president years ago, and I saw him take different volumes of the series to the stand during his talks. When we were leaving the church, my wife was talking to him about some of the issues we had, and he told her that he didn't want to know about it, that he was comfortable with the stories in "The Work and the Glory".

The guy wasn't a dummy (he is an attorney) but to him and his family, church history was this whitewashed series of fiction books.

I wonder at what point the series gets canonized?

Chris <><

I remember my Mission President in a Meeting wherein he was emphasizing how important it was for us to help our investigators understand the importance of reading Scripture. He told the story of an interview he had with a new convert and asking how their scripture reading was going. They responded that they were in Volume 5. He knew instantly what had happened and said he wanted to cry.

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:18 am

The Nehor wrote:
christopher wrote:We had a guy in our last ward, one the nicest people you would meet, who only believed in "The Work and The Glory" series for his church history. He was called recently as bishop.

I swear I'm not making this up. His father had been branch president years ago, and I saw him take different volumes of the series to the stand during his talks. When we were leaving the church, my wife was talking to him about some of the issues we had, and he told her that he didn't want to know about it, that he was comfortable with the stories in "The Work and the Glory".

The guy wasn't a dummy (he is an attorney) but to him and his family, church history was this whitewashed series of fiction books.

I wonder at what point the series gets canonized?

Chris <><

I remember my Mission President in a Meeting wherein he was emphasizing how important it was for us to help our investigators understand the importance of reading Scripture. He told the story of an interview he had with a new convert and asking how their scripture reading was going. They responded that they were in Volume 5. He knew instantly what had happened and said he wanted to cry.

Like an "oh s***!" cry or "praise Jesus" cry?

Deseret book website posted a review of the first "reWorking the Story". It was reviewed by a former sister mishie who served at the Nauvoodoo site. In her review, she said the most common question by visitors to the site was, "WHERE IS STEED ROW??"

Read it for yourself, if you don't believe me!

As a missionary serving in the Nauvoo Visitors' Center, one of the most commonly asked questions was, "Where is Steed Row?" It was astounding to me how many people mistook fiction for fact. Many times I explained to shocked tourists that the Steed family was in fact, fictitious.

You mean mindless chapel Mormons who wanted to experience a mo'gasm in the Steed home?

After seeing the movie The Work and the Glory last week, I better understood why these people, the Steeds, came to life for so many readers. The characters were believable. Their trials were believable. Their conversions and sacrifices were likewise, believable. I have not read Elder Lund's series The Work and the Glory, but I didn't feel that was a drawback to seeing, understanding or loving the story on the big screen.

Watching The Work and the Glory gave me a deeper appreciation for what I also know is true. I never tire of the account of Joseph's First Vision, I thought its depiction in the film was tastefully done. I walked away from the theatre pondering on what that vision has meant in my own life. Anything helping me to reflect on such a thing is time I consider well spent.

The portrayal of Joseph was perfectly fitting; I thought about what it would have been like to walk with him, work with him, and experience such a thing as the Restoration with him. I view the Restoration with different eyes now. Being a visual person, it was helpful to 'see' how it might have really been for families, friends, the Prophet himself, and those who believed him.

What a mindless twit! I wonder is she secretly wished she was Fanny Alger? LOL!

I loved learning about something so dear from a perspective quite different from my own.

I loved and highly recommend this movie. You won't catch me asking tourist questions about the Steed homestead, but you will catch me with a deeper appreciation for the price they paid to follow truth.

Could I have gained that appreciation without seeing the movie? Absolutely. But I would have missed the opportunity to gaze at Nathan Steed on a huge screen with a bucket of popcorn in my lap.

And secretly masturbate in the theater?

Post by **_Lucretia MacEvil** » Fri May 11, 2007 7:12 am

I loved and highly recommend this movie. You won't catch me asking tourist questions about the Steed homestead, but you will catch me with a deeper appreciation for the price they paid to follow truth.

Could I have gained that appreciation without seeing the movie? Absolutely. But I would have missed the opportunity to gaze at Nathan Steed on a huge screen with a bucket of popcorn in my lap.

I can't tell. Does she really know it's fiction or not? I guess it's one of those "just because it never happened doesn't mean it's not true" things.