Internet Mormons, Chapel Mormons, Critics, Apologists, and Never-Mo's all welcome!
https://discussmormonism.com/
Jersey Girl wrote:I didn't look at what the link leads to. This is "The Onion", is that a parody you're linking to?
Jersey Girl
"To trigger the matter-to-Mormonism conversion, a microgram of the element strontium is ordained by the doctrine and arcana of the Urim and Thummim, then bombarded by a high-energy photon traveling at four-fifths the speed of light.
Strontium was chosen for the project because "of all the elements it is the most unstable and therefore the most likely to react strongly to common-sense teachings."
According to Calhoun, though the conversion was invisible to the naked eye, subatomic "fingerprints" left by the collision reveal that for a brief period, the neutrons and protons in the nuclei of the atoms were actually fused together by faith in Jesus Christ and his Gospel as restored through his latter-day prophet, Joseph Smith. Though the Mormon Church has acheived great success with its missionary work in the past, the Joseph Smith Particle Accelerator is expected to revolutionize its recruitment efforts.
"Within 50 years," Calhoun said, "the Mormonism contained in the atoms of just a single glass of water will be enough to convert a city the size of St. Louis."