DiscussMormonism.com

You gotta know that on any LDS related board like this, "never-Mo's" are always in the minority. I can think of just about a half dozen posters on this board who have never been LDS and yet they choose (for whatever reasons) to participate on it. So far as I can tell, the never-Mo's on this board aren't here to evangelize and the reasons aren't what I'm thinking about right now. It's the contribution that never-Mo's bring to a board like this.

Two words come specifically to mind when I think about what never-Mo's bring in to discussions. I'd like to test out my theory by asking the community what you think they bring. And never-Mo's please respond!

Jersey Girl

Unbiased observation?

A chance to grind some unknown ax?

Perspective.

I find that converts also bring a different perspective which can be valuable when BICs are going through all the changes that exit from the church brings.

I find that non-religious people also bring a needed perspective in that it can be very instructive to see things from another view.

I think it's too bad when a BIC disparages a nevermo or a convert, discounting their experiences and insights. I see plenty of posts at RfM that ask about various aspects of non-mo life as to some who have been steeped in Mormonism (or any other one-track sort of environment) they do need help to figure out what is "normal". I remember one poster who said she used to go and sit in a coffee shop and just observe how non-mo people interact with each other so she could learn how to do it outside the Mormon fold that was all she had known. That seems extreme but I can relate to what she was experiencing on her way out. For me, it is more general than leaving just Mormonism. If you've only ever interacted with a religious community, especially a somewhat controlling or exclusive one, you can well experience "culture shock" upon leaving it.

One problem that does arise with nevermos and some converts (maybe especially short-term ones?) is that it seems particularly difficult for many of them to understand and relate to the exmo experience. That's where you get the "just get over it" remarks that push a lot of buttons for exmos. Of course, you can get that attitude and lack of comprehension from current Mormons too. I think it's a human shortcoming in that it takes time and thought and compassion to get yourself into someone else's moccasins. It's very easy to be judgemental and dismissive.

I think perspective is an important contribution that anyone can bring to the table.

And also compassion, from all sides.

I bring vodka to the table....anyone got any olives?

Seriously though for myself I got interested in Mormonism/Mormon culture/Mormon social issues whilst living behind the Zion curtain and don't know how to stop being quasi interested in Mormonism. Honestly it's got some weird stuff.

Bond...James Bond wrote:I bring vodka to the table....anyone got any olives?

I dunno, I got rocks if that'll help?

Jersey Girl
;-)

Bond...James Bond wrote:I bring vodka to the table....anyone got any olives?

Seriously though for myself I got interested in Mormonism/Mormon culture/Mormon social issues whilst living behind the Zion curtain and don't know how to stop being quasi interested in Mormonism. Honestly it's got some weird stuff.

Now I'm pretty sure that Bond would NOT drink a vodka martini. A real martini is gin and vermouth. :)

Bond...James Bond wrote:I bring vodka to the table....anyone got any olives?

Seriously though for myself I got interested in Mormonism/Mormon culture/Mormon social issues whilst living behind the Zion curtain and don't know how to stop being quasi interested in Mormonism. Honestly it's got some weird stuff.

But Bond, what do you (as a never-Mo) think you or other never-Mo's contribute to the on going dialogue/debate?

Other life perspective that isn't tainted by feelings of being attached to Mormonism. I know of a UCC minister who has never been Mormon, but who is very educated in the theological field. He runs circles in TBMs, it's kind of amusing. But he's also a very upstanding guy, serving his country and fellow man.

These types of folks show those who were BIC what it's like to have never been so. And perhaps they remind converts of what they left...the good things. Converts tend to have the bad things of their former lives emphasized when they convert, as a motivation to become LDS...at least it was that way for me.

Jersey Girl wrote:
But Bond, what do you (as a never-Mo) think you or other never-Mo's contribute to the on going dialogue/debate?

I think they (I) provide some outside perspective. People who are BIC or who are members/former members may not get the overall view of Mormonism that a nevermo can get. The detachment from ever having set foot in a LDS church does disallow me from talking about how boring services are or whatever, but I think I do provide an outsiders view of what insiders may consider normal. Of course every culture has quirks that can look weird to an outsider, but the outsider perspective is still important because the majority of people usually don't know a certain culture (in this case the LDS culture) so how the rest of the population sees a certain group is always an important thing to touch base on. Admittingly I know more than the average bear about Mormonism/Mormon culture, but I try to be a bit more detached than some other posters who are a bit more passionate due to their up close and personal history with the church.