My body is NOT a temple!

[_KimberlyAnn]

The concept of my body as a temple had a limiting effect on my life. From a young girl until the time I left the church, I was subjected to the teaching that my body was sacred, like a temple, and was not to be defiled. Somehow, I managed to internalize that lesson in a plethora of different ways.

Not only did I understand that teaching as a warning to remain chaste before marriage, I interpreted it to extend to my intimate married life. I never had sexual hang-ups, per se, but I did sometimes experience guilt over lustful feelings and thoughts, even when they were about my own husband. I thought my libido was out of control because I had a strange idea that women weren't supposed to enjoy sex as much as I did.

The teaching that my body was a temple also had the strange effect of making me overly cautious about using it. Somehow, I was overprotective of myself and afraid to risk injury, so I never fully enjoyed my body or it's physical capabilities. I don't know that I ever really pushed myself physically or tried new things that frightened me - my temple was too sacred to injure or desecrate by risking it in a wild activity like whitewater rafting or mountain biking. My husband always enjoyed those activities, but I felt afraid to try them, and though I wasn't consciously aware of it at the time, the stressing of my body as sacred and my obligation to protect it was probably a factor in my hesitance.

Also, sacred temples aren't very sexy. They're covered in garments and shouldn't be objects of arousal. Causing men to sin by lusting after your holy temple was bad, bad, bad! Temples are boring. They're always the same. Nothing exciting ever happens in temples, they're monotonous. And so it was with my body. I didn't try new things like I should have. I didn't try daring hairstyles or wear sexy clothing or engage in any activities that were moderately risky - I was boring, just like the temple!

Now, I take John Mayer's philosophy. My body is not a temple, it's a wonderland. My body houses everything that makes me me. Experiencing the world is possible through the use of my five senses, courtesy of my wondrous body. It's wondrous not because of it's appearance (believe me), but because it's now an object of wonder to me. I can shape it, mold it, work it, experience it in ways I never did when I thought of it as a temple. I'm not afraid to really experience life now. I'm not afraid of my own desires and I'm not hesitant to try new and bold and even risky things like I once was.

I've been para-sailing, whitewater rafting, water and snow skiing - things I didn't do when my body was a fragile, honored, pure, sacred, garment-clad temple on a pedestal. Without shame, I embrace my sexuality within the bounds of my marriage. I've been running and weight training, pushing my body to new limits and learning a lot about myself in the process. I'm not reckless, just truly alive and reveling in my own skin for the first time in my life.

My body is not a temple and that realization has allowed me to finally, truly honor it.

KA

[_Scottie]

Great post!

I think that you probably took this teaching to the extreme. I don't think most people interpret "the body is a temple" as literally as you did. To me, it always meant don't deface it with tattoos and piercings, don't put harmful substances in it, keep it healthy, etc. I don't know that I equated it 1 for 1 with the actual temple.

[_The Nehor]

I always used the Temple analogy to mean how it should be maintained and white-water rafting and bicycling, running, and using it to it's limit (like we're told we should use Temple buildings) are all great things.

Plus the analogy couldn't work that way once I'd been a Temple Worker. On my first day I was told by the Temple Presidency that the Temple was like a duck swimming on top of water. Everyone just sees a duck coasting gently along on glassy water. They don't see the legs thrashing like mad under the surface to keep it going. He told me I would now see this part too and to enjoy it. While not nearly as grueling as Missionary Work I usually left the Temple mentally tired trying to keep things running smoothly.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Great post!

I think that you probably took this teaching to the extreme. I don't think most people interpret "the body is a temple" as literally as you did. To me, it always meant don't deface it with tattoos and piercings, don't put harmful substances in it, keep it healthy, etc. I don't know that I equated it 1 for 1 with the actual temple.

I did take my religion quite seriously, though I don't think I was extreme, necessarily.

There were many lessons in church wherein parallels were made between bodies and temples, and I always believed it to be a more spiritual and complete metaphor than simply not to get tattoos or piercings, though that was a part of keeping my temple holy.

Certainly I don't know for sure that my former hesitancy in regards to moderately dangerous physical activity was directly due to my concept of my body as a temple. I tried to make that clear in my post. But I do wonder if it didn't play some roll, because now, I want to do new and exciting things and haven't much worry at all about taking moderate physical risks. I feel more in touch with my body than ever, no pun intended. ;)

KA

[_barrelomonkeys]

Hey KA, I wonder if also some of your desire to enjoy your uniqueness doesn't also do with growing older?

I know when I hit my 30's I completely changed in how I viewed myself and my body.

Glad you're happy where you are now and content. :)

[_asbestosman]

I wonder if male temples should be circumcised?
Should female temples shave their legs while male temples shave their faces?

The thing against tattoos I consider to be cultural. I do, however, see value in respecting my body by doing some amount of exercise and not eating all that much junkfood. I also avoid drugs not only because of the WoW, but also because I'm not excited about ruining my body through their use or abuse. I even wear lots of sunscreen of high SPF so I almost never have a tan in part because I'm not too keen on destroying skin. I mean, it may be my body, but it's the only one I have to live in.

By the way, I've always wanted to take my temple skydiving and / or hang-gliding. I also loved beating the tar out of my brothers' temples or at least play roughly with them. I say we need to enjoy our bodies in their frail state in part by taking chances. I don't imagine that hang-gliding will be much fun after I'm dead . . . and resurrected (unless maybe that's how I die which would be kinda preferrable to the heart-attack thing in my opinion).

[_wenglund]

The risks for most any metaphor is that they may be mis-interpreted in at least two ways: 1) a different point is drawn from the metaphor than what the author intended; and 2) the metaphor is extended well beyond what the author intended.

I think both types of mis-interpretations occur when the metaphor of "the body is a temple" becomes, or is perceived as, a cause of unhealthy sexual problems within the sacred bounds of holy matrimony.

In other words, KA's OP didn't so much discredit the notion of "the body as a temple" as it inadvertantly exposed (yet again) her penchant for tortured misinterpretations of perfectly legitimate and potentially uplifting and enlightening metaphors.

But, I doubt that my saying so will be of any efficacy since KA seems to believe that it is the Church that is the problem, and not her.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_moksha]

If not a temple, what about a:

Fortress
Airport
Moon Landing Base
Battleship
Tugboat
Underground Bunker
Rabbit Warren
Bordello
Drive-in Movie
Starship
Schoolbus
5 Star Hotel
Motel Six
Tokyo with Godzilla
HoverCraft

I must have missed a few.

[_KimberlyAnn]

But, I doubt that my saying so will be of any efficacy since KA seems to believe that it is the Church that is the problem, and not her.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I clearly remember what I was taught, Wade. I thought I made it clear in my post that I internalized the lessons in my own way and went on to describe those ways.

When my YW leader compared sex to dark chocolate and told us that, like very dark chocolate, it took some getting used to and that a little went a long way, I interpreted that to mean females didn't enjoy sex very much. I don't necessarily blame the church for that teacher's lesson, Wade, but it was, nevertheless, the lesson I got. And somehow, I'm not the only woman who took away from YW lessons the notion that lust was wrong. Sex=Sacred has a way of doing that. Temples were sacred to me at the time, and so I had a hard time reconciling the concept of lust with the sacredness of my temple.

Also, you'll notice if you read carefully, I didn't have sexual hangups, but I did feel guilty for feeling lust toward my husband. I thought sex was supposed to be spiritual, but for the life of me, it didn't seem spiritual when it was really good. So, I felt guilty. I know other women have experienced the same sexual guilt, so there must be something to the Mormon church's attitude about sex that causes people to feel body shame and sexual guilt. It's not all due to individual misinterpretation, Wade.

But, I doubt my saying so will be of any efficacy since you seem to believe that everything is always the disaffected member's problem and never the church's.

Wade, I think you're an unremitting asshole and I guarantee it's not a misinterpretation.

KA

[_The Nehor]

If not a temple, what about a:

Fortress
Airport
Moon Landing Base
Battleship
Tugboat
Underground Bunker
Rabbit Warren
Bordello
Drive-in Movie
Starship
Schoolbus
5 Star Hotel
Motel Six
Tokyo with Godzilla
HoverCraft

I must have missed a few.

I prefer to think of my body as being in similitude of Masculine Perfection but there is probably some personal bias there.