Need your opinion

[_Who Knows]

So my wife went in for her temple recommend interview, but failed. She could only answer 'i don't know' to a couple of the questions (she passed all the rest of the questions). So then the bishopric went on to warn her about me, saying i am 'listening to the wrong spirit', and a couple of other things implying i was under the influence of satan, and that he was worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

So here's what I need your advice on. I'm a little ticked off that the bishop is basically saying bad things about me, not only behind my back, but to my wife. I'm also a little worried that this could spill over to my kids when the bishop does interviews with them. I don't appreciate having the bishop basically undermine me as a husband/parent - turning my wife and kids against me (if only in some small way). Should I say something to the bishop? Or is this something I should just live with as long as my wife and kids still attend?

I can see that as his role as bishop, he should council his members to maintain/grow their testimonies. But do they really have the right to talk about other people like that?

[_Dr. Shades]

I'd say that at the very least, don't let your kids have any interviews with him. Not now, not ever.

[Guest]

So my wife went in for her temple recommend interview, but failed. She could only answer 'I don't know' to a couple of the questions (she passed all the rest of the questions). So then the bishopric went on to warn her about me, saying I am 'listening to the wrong spirit', and a couple of other things implying I was under the influence of satan, and that he was worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

So here's what I need your advice on. I'm a little ticked off that the bishop is basically saying bad things about me, not only behind my back, but to my wife. I'm also a little worried that this could spill over to my kids when the bishop does interviews with them. I don't appreciate having the bishop basically undermine me as a husband/parent - turning my wife and kids against me (if only in some small way). Should I say something to the bishop? Or is this something I should just live with as long as my wife and kids still attend?

I can see that as his role as bishop, he should council his members to maintain/grow their testimonies. But do they really have the right to talk about other people like that?

Don't let the Bishop interview your kids! He has no business interviewing them without your consent and you shouldn't give it. Period.

And your wife will hopefully see the Bishop for the poor excuse of a leader he is and disregard what he told her. Just show her you're in no way under the influence of the devil by the kind way you treat others and she'll be forced to see the bishop's comments as the lies they are.

KA

[_Some Schmo]

So my wife went in for her temple recommend interview, but failed. She could only answer 'I don't know' to a couple of the questions (she passed all the rest of the questions). So then the bishopric went on to warn her about me, saying I am 'listening to the wrong spirit', and a couple of other things implying I was under the influence of satan, and that he was worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

So here's what I need your advice on. I'm a little ticked off that the bishop is basically saying bad things about me, not only behind my back, but to my wife. I'm also a little worried that this could spill over to my kids when the bishop does interviews with them. I don't appreciate having the bishop basically undermine me as a husband/parent - turning my wife and kids against me (if only in some small way). Should I say something to the bishop? Or is this something I should just live with as long as my wife and kids still attend?

I can see that as his role as bishop, he should council his members to maintain/grow their testimonies. But do they really have the right to talk about other people like that?

I would ask him what he thinks is meant by "family first." Ask him how good it might be for someone to create dissent within someone's family.

And then I might tell him that if he's got something to say, he better say it to me personally, or he should keep his BS opinion to himself. Effin jackass. I also wouldn't let him near my kids.

[_Some Schmo]

LOL... I just notice Shades, KA and I all posted about not letting him interview your kids within the same minute.

[_KimberlyAnn]

LOL... I just notice Shades, KA and I all posted about not letting him interview your kids within the same minute.

I noticed that, too, Schmo. I think we were all typing at the same time!

I'd say we gave some pretty good advice.

KA

[_Runtu]

I think too many of us treat bishops' interviews as a given. It's part of being LDS to have regular interviews, and sometimes they cross the line. But we don't complain because it's the bishop, and he's God's representative. Even some of us who have left the fold still defer to the authority, but as others have pointed out, we need not do so. I've told my kids many times that if they ever are asked something that makes them uncomfortable, they are to tell the bishop that he can talk to me about it. But then again, there's no reason I need to send them for interviews in the first place.

And I echo the sentiment that this bishop crossed the line with your wife. I'd tell him so if I were you.

[_Who Knows]

I just want to clarify. I think I 'painted' the bishop worse than he was. He wasn't suggesting i'm a horrible person, that we should get divorced, or anything like that.

The basic context was something like "he's listening to the wrong spirit right now, so you need to be strong and strengthen your testimony so that when he comes around in 5, 10, 20 years, you'll be right there with him'.

But then again, the guy has never talked to me ONCE (besides a 'hi' if we ever pass by each other) since the day I told him 'i don't believe it any more' about a year ago. How the heck would he know what kind of spirit (if any) i'm under?

On the plus side - my once TBM wife failed her TR interview! And even more on the plus side - it didn't really bother her (i think she knew she'd fail it, and actually wanted to fail it).

Thanks for the responses so far. I've been trying to decide if I'm overreacting or not. And I'm worried that if I say something, it'll only make things worse (my wife loves her calling, and loves her friends in the church - though it's beginning to be apparent that she doesn't believe it).

[_The Nehor]

Who Knows, based on your post clarifying what the Bishop said I'm pretty sure he would NOT undermine your authority with your kids.

[_KimberlyAnn]

I just want to clarify. I think I 'painted' the bishop worse than he was. He wasn't suggesting I'm a horrible person, that we should get divorced, or anything like that.

The basic context was something like "he's listening to the wrong spirit right now, so you need to be strong and strengthen your testimony so that when he comes around in 5, 10, 20 years, you'll be right there with him'.

But then again, the guy has never talked to me ONCE (besides a 'hi' if we ever pass by each other) since the day I told him 'I don't believe it any more' about a year ago. How the heck would he know what kind of spirit (if any) I'm under?

On the plus side - my once TBM wife failed her TR interview! And even more on the plus side - it didn't really bother her (I think she knew she'd fail it, and actually wanted to fail it).

Thanks for the responses so far. I've been trying to decide if I'm overreacting or not. And I'm worried that if I say something, it'll only make things worse (my wife loves her calling, and loves her friends in the church - though it's beginning to be apparent that she doesn't believe it).

The bishop was willing to intimate, even though he doesn't know you at all, that you were listening to the wrong spirit, and we all know who that "wrong spirit" is: The Devil. If you don't worry about him corrupting your wife, that's fine, but DO NOT let him interview your children. He has no business talking to them whatsoever. He has no business questioning them about whether or not they masturbate. DO NOT let your children go alone into a closed room with a total stranger who feels he has God-given authority to ask probing, personal questions of another man's underage children.

I feel strongly enough about it that I would risk divorce to ensure my underage children never stepped foot in a Bishop's office. I DID risk divorce over it, and thank goodness it didn't come to that, but I'd have been willing to accept the consequences if it did.

KA

PS - One more time: DO NOT let the Bishop interview your kids! Any bishop!