Panic! At the Interview: Bishop's Office Horrors

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
_KimberlyAnn
_Emeritus
Posts: 3171
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:03 pm

Panic! At the Interview: Bishop's Office Horrors

Post by _KimberlyAnn »

I was a good Mormon. There was no reason for me to panic over a Bishop's interview, but I did anyway.

It started with the waiting. I'm convinced they kept me waiting outside the office to raise the tension level to the point that I would spill the beans the second I sat down in front of the Bishop's imposing desk. Then there was the picture of the First Presidency hanging behind it on the wall; it reaffirmed the Bishop's authority and made my heart beat just a little faster.

There was the little matter of how I was dressed. In my former ward, we were instructed to wear Sunday best to all interviews. We dressed up for God on Sunday, so by extension, why would we not dress in our best for his earthly representative who sat in judgment of us? The Bishop not only had the power to issue or decline to issue my temple recommend, but he had the authority to tell me how to dress. He was an important man with a busy schedule and I was a mom with four little kids and not much else to do, so I waited in the hallway with no explanation for the delays.

After I got into the office and the Bishop closed the heavy door with a loud thud, I sat down before him as he bored into my soul with his Priesthood Powered eyes. I always felt God would tell him how bad I really was inside; that, although I tried my best, I was still a pretty rotten person. I didn't speak ill of the Lord's Anointed, but I thought ill of them sometimes, especially the Relief Society President. I felt for certain the Bishop knew. He probably knew the unwholesome thoughts that sometimes went through my mind. The Spirit would no doubt tell him that I snickered inside every time I went to the temple and saw my husband in his floppy baker's hat and green apron with the leafy stitching. The Bishop had the power of discernment.

I felt like I would suffocate before the questioning was completed. My heart raced no matter how many times I told myself I was answering the questions honestly and that there was no need to be afraid of the Bishop. I always felt a little dizzy in the Bishop's office and couldn't wait to be set free. Surely I was fidgety, which I always felt indicated to the Bishop that I was nervous and probably lying to him. The more I worried the Bishop would think I was lying, though I wasn't, the more nervous I got and the more I fidgeted. God, I hated Bishop's interviews!

I relayed in another thread the humiliating Bishop's interview I experienced as a teenager. The Bishop taught us in a Standards Night that French kissing was a sin which must be confessed to him and called it "sex with the mouth". Poor guy probably never had real oral sex with his mouth - I suppose I should feel sorry for him, but I don't, lol! He was an interminable, controlling busybody. Here's what I posted about that interview on Who Knows' Need Your Opinion thread:

Of course, all Bishops aren't the same, but in my experience as a teenager, I was many times asked questions which I now know were inappropriate, but at the time I thought they were only humiliating and embarrassing. I confessed to French kissing, which was told to me by my Bishop was "sex with the mouth". In the interview, I was asked if the young man whom I kissed touched my breasts, removed any of my clothing or otherwise touched my body. The Bishop wanted DETAILS, so he could appropriately punish me. I was asked if I was wearing a slip while kissing! Looking back now, I cannot believe I was alone as a teenage girl with a forty year old man who was asking me such questions! It's entirely inappropriate, and to me, worth a little war to prevent from happening in Who Knows' family.


I should add that the Bishop did, in fact, punish me by denying me a recommend to do baptisms for the dead, even though I honestly answered his prying questions in the negative. My non-participation in that youth temple trip spurred all sorts of rumor about me, which persisted for some time, and my wanton non-slip wearing ways put me on the Bishop's radar screen. I really believe he thought I was a temptress or something because he sure treated me as such. I was the only girl asked to wear a shirt over my bathing suit at church water activities, event though my suit was well within standards. I felt constantly singled out and for a teenage girl, that's a terrible way to feel.

It's dangerous for untrained men to have such control and persuasion in people's lives. It's wrong for teenage girls and boys to go alone into a closed room with an untrained man who asks them all kinds of probing, personal questions. I cannot see how anyone thinks that's appropriate. In my opinion, no parent should allow their minor children to be interviewed alone by a Mormon bishop.

Also, Bishop's interviews are so intimidating and often humiliating that I have to believe there are many Mormons harboring unnecessary guilt because they're too embarrassed to confess their sins to the Bishop. Why should they need to confess to him? Why not directly to God and be done with it? Why is Mormonism so damn punitive? I absolutely abhor what the Mormon cult does to people! That's why I do my best to help investigators avoid joining it and to help as many members exit it as possible.

Bishop's interviews are one of the most insidious aspects of Mormonism!

Surely I'm not alone in experiencing panic during Bishop's interviews. Share your experiences, good or bad, if you like. Hearing from some former Bishops would be interesting, as well, both Mormon and ex-Mormon.

KA
_Who Knows
_Emeritus
Posts: 2455
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:09 pm

Post by _Who Knows »

French kissing is sex with the mouth? Then what the hell is...ah, nevermind, this is the terrestrial forum.
WK: "Joseph Smith asserted that the Book of Mormon peoples were the original inhabitants of the americas"
Will Schryver: "No, he didn’t." 3/19/08
Still waiting for Will to back this up...
_Runtu
_Emeritus
Posts: 16721
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:06 am

Post by _Runtu »

I well remember wracking my brain for any unconfessed sin before I went into the bishop's office. The irony is that, while I was worrying about my sins, I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't. I was kind of the poster child for the obedient LDS kids. Never did drugs, never drank, never smoked, and never did anything "immoral" by the church standards. But I was sure the bishop knew all my secret sins (I didn't know what they were, but I was sure they were there).

When I was about 12, the bishop asked me if I masturbated. I had never heard the word before, so I asked him what that meant. He stammered for a moment and then explained in rather-too-graphic detail how said sin is committed. I was horrified. I don't think I knew what "petting" meant until after I was married. But no matter. I never engaged in that before marriage, either.
Runtu's Rincón

If you just talk, I find that your mouth comes out with stuff. -- Karl Pilkington
_Canucklehead
_Emeritus
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:57 pm

Post by _Canucklehead »

It's even worse than you think in some areas of the world, KimberlyAnn...

On my mission, I was assigned to a remote area and made the Branch President of a small congregation with about 15 active members.

As a 20 year old, I was put in the position of having a 30 year old man "confess" to me that he masturbated when his wife was away on trips. I had to counsel him on how to stop doing this. I'm sad (in restrospect) to say that I gave him the Mark Peterson pamphlet to read. However, in my defence ... what was I supposed to do?

I also heard confessions from a 19 year old prospective missionary, and was put in the position, at 20 years old, of having to decide whether I should sign his mission papers even though he still had trouble stopping masturbating. What a ridiculous situation to be put in. It's embarassing now to remember that I'd pray every night and ask god to "help _____ and _____ to stop masturbating." How ridiculous!

Granted, my situation wasn't as inappropriate in the same sense as yours (in that I wasn't talking to young girls about their sexual practices, so the possibility of misconduct wasn't there). But it was still inappropriate and downright absurd in its own right.

I also imagine that there are areas of latin america and africa where missionaries are assigned to be branch presidents and actually do end up "counselling" young girls about their sexuality. THAT would be a dangerous and stupid situation for the church to put people in.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
_Runtu
_Emeritus
Posts: 16721
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:06 am

Post by _Runtu »

In one town where I served in Bolivia, there were very few members, so they sent an American "senior couple" down there to run the branch. My roommate at BYU, who was serving in the branch, told me that, because the American man could hardly speak any Spanish, he was told to act as translator. Unfortunately, this guy was one of those people who asks for inappropriately graphic descriptions of sexual sins. He said it was just horrible to sit there and have the branch president tell him to ask a young woman if her boyfriend had penetrated her or just engaged in oral sex.

I read the other day about a prospective missionary's being grilled by President Kimball about his sex life: "Did you put your penis in his mouth?" and other inappropriate stuff. I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?
Runtu's Rincón

If you just talk, I find that your mouth comes out with stuff. -- Karl Pilkington
_Bond...James Bond
_Emeritus
Posts: 4627
Joined: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:49 am

Post by _Bond...James Bond »

Runtu wrote:I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?


It doesn't matter except that there are creepy people out there who want to hear a hot young women give up every little thing she's ever done, in graphic detail so they can get their rocks off in some way. They're called perverts, and they're immune to the power of discernment.
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
_Canucklehead
_Emeritus
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:57 pm

Post by _Canucklehead »

Runtu wrote: I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?


I seem to remember reading in the CHI (although I might be off on the source here) that when members confess sins the bishop is supposed to ask for details, since the confession isn't complete unless they confess their awful, sinful acts in their entirety.

I guess that if you confess "I had sex", the atonement doesn't kick in; however, it does kick in if you confess "I put my penis here and here here". The immutable laws of the universe sure seem arbitrary and capricious from my vantage point.
_Trinity
_Emeritus
Posts: 426
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:36 pm

Post by _Trinity »

Oh. I have a GREAT story for you, KA.

On Sunday my husband went into his office to do some administrative work. While there, he ran into a woman who used to be on one of his teams and they spent about an hour and a half visiting. Somehow the topic of the church came up and she mentioned how she has become disaffected since an experience she had last year. She was widowed at the age of 38 and has been quite active in the social scene for a year or so. She was at a party in Draper, Utah on a fine Saturday night last November when she was approached by a man and wife who asked her if she wanted to be part of a threesome with them. She was not inclined, being the worthy LDS gal that she was, but very curious as to why they had approached her. So she started asking questions when the guy said, "we just need to be home by 2 am, I have bishopric meeting at 8:00 am in the morning. She said "bishopric meeting?"

Yup. This was a bishop and his wife openly propositioning her for a threesome. And her response to my husband was "I went home troubled, and the next day I informed my two teens that they were NEVER to discuss anything of a sexual nature with a bishop. It was the beginning of her disaffection and she has gone into inactivity since then.

This story was outrageous even for me. I grilled my husband about specifics. Were we sure he was a bishop and not just some guy claiming to be bishop? Yes. The coworker had gotten his name and looked him up to confirm his story was true. Was this co-worker trustworthy and wasn't just telling this story to be melodramatic? Hubby confirmed this woman's character was above board and she was a widow raising two teens after the wake of her husbands premature death the year before. She was a top performer on the team and was known for being reliable, trustworthy, careful worker, and very detail oriented.
_Some Schmo
_Emeritus
Posts: 15602
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 2:59 pm

Post by _Some Schmo »

Runtu wrote: I read the other day about a prospective missionary's being grilled by President Kimball about his sex life: "Did you put your penis in his mouth?" and other inappropriate stuff. I've never understood why they couldn't just leave it at generalizations. If I had had sex before marriage, would it have mattered what position, etc.?


The reason they ask for details is that Penthouse Forums and Letters to Playboy are against the religion.

So SWK was asking for details on a homosexual couple, eh? Shocker! I've got $20 that says he went home, masturbated over the story, then started feeling guilty over his own homosexual feelings while licking his hand clean.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_Trinity
_Emeritus
Posts: 426
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:36 pm

Post by _Trinity »

Some Schmo wrote:So SWK was asking for details on a homosexual couple, eh? Shocker! I've got $20 that says he went home, masturbated over the story, then started feeling guilty over his own homosexual feelings while licking his hand clean.


Ewwww. Didn't need that imagery this morning, Schmo.
Post Reply