It started with the waiting. I'm convinced they kept me waiting outside the office to raise the tension level to the point that I would spill the beans the second I sat down in front of the Bishop's imposing desk. Then there was the picture of the First Presidency hanging behind it on the wall; it reaffirmed the Bishop's authority and made my heart beat just a little faster.
There was the little matter of how I was dressed. In my former ward, we were instructed to wear Sunday best to all interviews. We dressed up for God on Sunday, so by extension, why would we not dress in our best for his earthly representative who sat in judgment of us? The Bishop not only had the power to issue or decline to issue my temple recommend, but he had the authority to tell me how to dress. He was an important man with a busy schedule and I was a mom with four little kids and not much else to do, so I waited in the hallway with no explanation for the delays.
After I got into the office and the Bishop closed the heavy door with a loud thud, I sat down before him as he bored into my soul with his Priesthood Powered eyes. I always felt God would tell him how bad I really was inside; that, although I tried my best, I was still a pretty rotten person. I didn't speak ill of the Lord's Anointed, but I thought ill of them sometimes, especially the Relief Society President. I felt for certain the Bishop knew. He probably knew the unwholesome thoughts that sometimes went through my mind. The Spirit would no doubt tell him that I snickered inside every time I went to the temple and saw my husband in his floppy baker's hat and green apron with the leafy stitching. The Bishop had the power of discernment.
I felt like I would suffocate before the questioning was completed. My heart raced no matter how many times I told myself I was answering the questions honestly and that there was no need to be afraid of the Bishop. I always felt a little dizzy in the Bishop's office and couldn't wait to be set free. Surely I was fidgety, which I always felt indicated to the Bishop that I was nervous and probably lying to him. The more I worried the Bishop would think I was lying, though I wasn't, the more nervous I got and the more I fidgeted. God, I hated Bishop's interviews!
I relayed in another thread the humiliating Bishop's interview I experienced as a teenager. The Bishop taught us in a Standards Night that French kissing was a sin which must be confessed to him and called it "sex with the mouth". Poor guy probably never had real oral sex with his mouth - I suppose I should feel sorry for him, but I don't, lol! He was an interminable, controlling busybody. Here's what I posted about that interview on Who Knows' Need Your Opinion thread:
Of course, all Bishops aren't the same, but in my experience as a teenager, I was many times asked questions which I now know were inappropriate, but at the time I thought they were only humiliating and embarrassing. I confessed to French kissing, which was told to me by my Bishop was "sex with the mouth". In the interview, I was asked if the young man whom I kissed touched my breasts, removed any of my clothing or otherwise touched my body. The Bishop wanted DETAILS, so he could appropriately punish me. I was asked if I was wearing a slip while kissing! Looking back now, I cannot believe I was alone as a teenage girl with a forty year old man who was asking me such questions! It's entirely inappropriate, and to me, worth a little war to prevent from happening in Who Knows' family.
I should add that the Bishop did, in fact, punish me by denying me a recommend to do baptisms for the dead, even though I honestly answered his prying questions in the negative. My non-participation in that youth temple trip spurred all sorts of rumor about me, which persisted for some time, and my wanton non-slip wearing ways put me on the Bishop's radar screen. I really believe he thought I was a temptress or something because he sure treated me as such. I was the only girl asked to wear a shirt over my bathing suit at church water activities, event though my suit was well within standards. I felt constantly singled out and for a teenage girl, that's a terrible way to feel.
It's dangerous for untrained men to have such control and persuasion in people's lives. It's wrong for teenage girls and boys to go alone into a closed room with an untrained man who asks them all kinds of probing, personal questions. I cannot see how anyone thinks that's appropriate. In my opinion, no parent should allow their minor children to be interviewed alone by a Mormon bishop.
Also, Bishop's interviews are so intimidating and often humiliating that I have to believe there are many Mormons harboring unnecessary guilt because they're too embarrassed to confess their sins to the Bishop. Why should they need to confess to him? Why not directly to God and be done with it? Why is Mormonism so damn punitive? I absolutely abhor what the Mormon cult does to people! That's why I do my best to help investigators avoid joining it and to help as many members exit it as possible.
Bishop's interviews are one of the most insidious aspects of Mormonism!
Surely I'm not alone in experiencing panic during Bishop's interviews. Share your experiences, good or bad, if you like. Hearing from some former Bishops would be interesting, as well, both Mormon and ex-Mormon.
KA