Its that time of year...
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 9:46 pm
Its that time of year at MD.com that we dig through the vault and disinter the real classics; the masterpieces of misanthropy, gadflyism, foam, froth, and high fever; the lost gems and the forgotten jewels of penetrating analysis.
This needs repeating oft, as if its recommendations were carried out, the world would be a much nicer, saner, and, after all is said and done, warm and fuzzier place. I'd add Zoid's name at the top of the list, but I don't want to tarnish the pristine lucidity and insight of the original.
NUKE:
Cheerleaders
Whales
Dolphins
Sea Turtles
All endangered species
Cheerleaders
Liberals
Leftists
Communists
Neo-Communists
Anti-anti-Communists
Cheerleaders
Liberal Cheerleaders
Communist Cheerleaders
Obese Cheerleaders
Gay Cheerleaders
Cheerleaders who don't brush their teeth
Cheerleaders without any teeth to brush
Obese cheerleaders without brushes
Cheerleaders who drink too much
Cheerleaders who don't drink, but are on the endangered species list
All long haired, maggot infested, good time rock and roll, plastic bannana, commie pinko, pony tailed, FM type liberals, whether they're cheerleaders or not.
Anyone who listens to Iggy Pop
Anyone who listens to Iggy Pop while drinking
Anyone who can listen to Barry Manilow without drinking
All exmos, regardless of race, creed, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, disability, Viet Nam veteran status, educational level, IQ (if applicable), political affiliation (if Democrat, blow em' up real good) eye color (brown eyed exmos get fifty lashes before being sent to the showers) rate of daytime talk show consumption, transfatty acid consumption, number of personality disorders directly diagnosable from the DSM-III-R, rates of alcohol use, drug use, illegal drug use, animal cruelty, animal behavior, animal attraction, animal magnetism, bizarre sexual practices, biarre sexual practices associated with cheerleading, and whether or not you believe Mother Jones is really your mother.
NUKE EM' ALL, AND LET GEORGE BURNS SORT EM' OUT!!!!!
This needs repeating oft, as if its recommendations were carried out, the world would be a much nicer, saner, and, after all is said and done, warm and fuzzier place. I'd add Zoid's name at the top of the list, but I don't want to tarnish the pristine lucidity and insight of the original.
NUKE:
Cheerleaders
Whales
Dolphins
Sea Turtles
All endangered species
Cheerleaders
Liberals
Leftists
Communists
Neo-Communists
Anti-anti-Communists
Cheerleaders
Liberal Cheerleaders
Communist Cheerleaders
Obese Cheerleaders
Gay Cheerleaders
Cheerleaders who don't brush their teeth
Cheerleaders without any teeth to brush
Obese cheerleaders without brushes
Cheerleaders who drink too much
Cheerleaders who don't drink, but are on the endangered species list
All long haired, maggot infested, good time rock and roll, plastic bannana, commie pinko, pony tailed, FM type liberals, whether they're cheerleaders or not.
Anyone who listens to Iggy Pop
Anyone who listens to Iggy Pop while drinking
Anyone who can listen to Barry Manilow without drinking
All exmos, regardless of race, creed, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, disability, Viet Nam veteran status, educational level, IQ (if applicable), political affiliation (if Democrat, blow em' up real good) eye color (brown eyed exmos get fifty lashes before being sent to the showers) rate of daytime talk show consumption, transfatty acid consumption, number of personality disorders directly diagnosable from the DSM-III-R, rates of alcohol use, drug use, illegal drug use, animal cruelty, animal behavior, animal attraction, animal magnetism, bizarre sexual practices, biarre sexual practices associated with cheerleading, and whether or not you believe Mother Jones is really your mother.
NUKE EM' ALL, AND LET GEORGE BURNS SORT EM' OUT!!!!!