Why I lost my virginity

[_Abaddon]

Anyone else commit a sin (any sin) because they had already committed it "in your heart"?

The year was 1999. It was June. I was supposed to be preparing for a mission. I was dating a girl that was more forward than any other girl I had dated before (she was a Mormon).

Late at night on a Saturday, she invited me into a dark bedroom where we proceeded to commence with heavy necking and petting. I was lusting this girl with my whole heart yet I knew I should stop and I was planning on it. But then a thought came to my head from the scriptures about lusting after a woman and already committing adultery in your heart.

I had the willpower to stop. I remember it clearly. But I also remember feeling that I had already committed the sin in my heart so what's the difference now? I proceeded to let the girl go all the way (she was the aggressive one). In retrospect, I wish I would've tried to enjoy it more instead of being so nervous and scared.

I KNOW for a fact that the church doesn't punish "sins of the heart" like they punish "sins of the flesh."

I'm curious if anyone else fell into the same rationalization I made based on what you were taught about "sinning in your heart".

[_Rambo]

I'm curious if anyone else fell into the same rationalization I made based on what you were taught about "sinning in your heart".

NOOO!!!! Well it least I didn't rationalize that much but I should have.

Did you read the saddest thread on this discussion board called "Missed opportunities to sin." I think shades said it was the saddest thread.

However, I think I did rationalize little sins like downloading music and not paying for it or speeding in my car. There was usually a bunch of stuff I would rationalize everyday.

[Guest]

Anyone else commit a sin (any sin) because they had already committed it "in your heart"?

Frankly, that's a pretty sad misunderstanding of the teaching.

And I'm assuming that you had (mercifully) never read Mark 9:43 and applied a similarly literalistic reading or things could have been much worse.

[_Buffalo]

Anyone else commit a sin (any sin) because they had already committed it "in your heart"?

The year was 1999. It was June. I was supposed to be preparing for a mission. I was dating a girl that was more forward than any other girl I had dated before (she was a Mormon).

Late at night on a Saturday, she invited me into a dark bedroom where we proceeded to commence with heavy necking and petting. I was lusting this girl with my whole heart yet I knew I should stop and I was planning on it. But then a thought came to my head from the scriptures about lusting after a woman and already committing adultery in your heart.

I had the willpower to stop. I remember it clearly. But I also remember feeling that I had already committed the sin in my heart so what's the difference now? I proceeded to let the girl go all the way (she was the aggressive one). In retrospect, I wish I would've tried to enjoy it more instead of being so nervous and scared.

I KNOW for a fact that the church doesn't punish "sins of the heart" like they punish "sins of the flesh."

I'm curious if anyone else fell into the same rationalization I made based on what you were taught about "sinning in your heart".

Another example of the abstinence violation effect. The church really does shoot itself in the foot with its approach to sin.

[_Nomad]

Anyone else commit a sin (any sin) because they had already committed it "in your heart"?

The year was 1999. It was June. I was supposed to be preparing for a mission. I was dating a girl that was more forward than any other girl I had dated before (she was a Mormon).

Late at night on a Saturday, she invited me into a dark bedroom where we proceeded to commence with heavy necking and petting. I was lusting this girl with my whole heart yet I knew I should stop and I was planning on it. But then a thought came to my head from the scriptures about lusting after a woman and already committing adultery in your heart.

I had the willpower to stop. I remember it clearly. But I also remember feeling that I had already committed the sin in my heart so what's the difference now? I proceeded to let the girl go all the way (she was the aggressive one). In retrospect, I wish I would've tried to enjoy it more instead of being so nervous and scared.

I KNOW for a fact that the church doesn't punish "sins of the heart" like they punish "sins of the flesh."

I'm curious if anyone else fell into the same rationalization I made based on what you were taught about "sinning in your heart".

LOL!

That's one of the more pathetic excuses I've ever heard for having fornicated.

I imagine you weren't as hesitant the next time, although the rationalization changed to: "well, I've already done it now, so ..."

Funny how that works, huh?

[_MsJack]

I think you were a hormonal, undersexed teenager who wanted to have sex and I think you rationalized a justification for that desire within the theological worldview that you accepted at the time. Had Matthew 5:28 and its counterparts not existed, I think there is a pretty high possibility you would have lost your virginity that night just the same.

That doesn't mean there weren't issues with the way you were taught abstinence, or even what you were taught about Matthew 5:28. But I don't think Matthew 5:28 caused you to lose your virginity.

I'm just glad you've never applied similar reasoning to what 1 John 3:15 teaches regarding hatred and murder. At least, I hope that you haven't.

[_Nomad]

I think you were a hormonal, undersexed teenager who wanted to have sex and I think you rationalized a justification for that desire ...

Speaking of aggressive ...

[_LDSToronto]

I wasn't religious when I lost my innocence, so there was no guilt or shame attached. My religious inexperience notwithstanding, I have to say that your story shows a lack of common sense - thinking about having sex and having sex are two *really* different things and it seems a bit dim to equate the two, regardless of what the Bible says. Most teen boys imagine having lots of sex (even the religious ones); none, I would suspect, think it's just as good as having actual sex.

H.

[_moksha]

That's one of the more pathetic excuses I've ever heard for having fornicated.

Nah. The most pathetic would be, "I did what hundreds of millon years of this biological imperative told me to do".

[_Sophocles]

You know how when you wake up in the morning, your mind is able to come up with all kinds of great reasons to stay in bed, and at the time they really sound compelling?

That's what the OP reminds me of.